Chapter 2 — Better to Lean on Mountains Than a Faithless Heart

Jiang Nam Khe claimed the scent of my medicinal herbs made her nauseous, forcing me into the most remote, desolate courtyard of the estate. She coveted the maids and matrons that the Marquis had originally assigned to me, and Shen Di An, without a single word of inquiry, treated those human beings like mere furniture and transferred them all to her quarters. While the servants of the Shen household were never mine to command, Nam Khe showed no restraint. Within half a month, she found every conceivable excuse to lash them, punish them, and create such chaos that the entire manor was upended, all to demand they be sold off. Unable to bear it, I spoke up just once to plead for their lives.

Shen Di An advised me to empathize with her suffering, to pity her circumstances, and to understand that her temperament was erratic due to her hardships. But I could not fathom it. Just because her own life was fractured, did that justify her desire to shatter everyone else—to separate parents from children, destroy homes, and sow misery? Shen Di An refused to listen. He grew impatient, stating that the Shen house was not so impoverished that it needed to tiptoe around the feelings of subordinates. In the end, I was merely an outsider. Understanding my place, I said nothing more. Yet, when those servants were finally led away to be sold, I went to the Lady of the Shen house and spent every last cent of my private savings to buy them all back.

Nam Khe, feeling humiliated, flew into a rage. She shrieked that I had incited the servants to rebel against her, and while weeping, she lunged at me, violently ramming her head against my body. I slipped and tumbled down the stone steps, and in a desperate instinct for survival, I grabbed hold of her sleeve. We both fell, our heads striking the hard stone, our fresh blood painting the earth crimson.

Pinned beneath her, I was paralyzed with agony. Nam Khe, wiping the blood from her hands, suddenly acted as if possessed. She cradled her own body, screaming, and began to rain brutal kicks upon mine. Shen Di An rushed over, gathering her into his arms with frantic, trembling hands, shouting for someone to fetch a physician. From start to finish, he did not spare a single glance for me—I, who lay sprawling in the dirt, face pale as ash, unable to even struggle to my feet. Wallowing in the mud, broken and miserable, I limped back to my courtyard on my own.

By the time he remembered my existence, I had already bandaged my own wounds. Standing before a window that let in the biting wind, he refused to step inside because Nam Khe disliked the smell of my medicine. His gaze darkened, and he spoke each word with cold deliberation: "Nam Khe was abused by her stepmother for too long; she cannot control herself when she sees blood. Today, she was truly terrified. Tu Nghi, do not make such a scene."

My heart felt as though it were being squeezed, the pain so acute I could barely draw breath. I gritted my teeth and demanded, "She pushed me; I did not go mad, I did not lose my senses—so is all of this my fault? Shen Di An, is your sense of justice based entirely on whoever is the most deranged?"

For the first time, Shen Di An turned a dark, furious scowl upon me. "Must you always stand against Nam Khe? If you lot had not damaged my aunt's memento, Nam Khe would not have cried and screamed all through the night! It is your coddling of those servants that has made them lawless!"

I refused to yield. "They have already made it clear that no one touched your aunt’s relic. If she wants to find a pretext to frame us, is that difficult? Whether she wants to sell the servants or drive me out of this manor entirely, Shen Di An, are you truly so blind?"

He was pushed back by the intensity of my gaze, chillingly spitting out the words, "Nam Khe is still young. She does not possess such a darkened heart as you."

So, in his eyes, his cousin was a flawless piece of white jade, the most innocent and pitiable creature in the world. And I was the one with the vile, filthy heart—the cruelest woman alive. I burst into laughter. "If her heart is truly pure, why is she so vicious that she would sell those who served me, tearing families apart just to satisfy her spite?"

Shen Di An had no rebuttal, only leaving behind a parting shot: "Your tongue is too sharp; you leave no room for others to live." Then, he swept his sleeves and departed. He used his cold indifference to force me to bow and beg for forgiveness. The medicine I had brought him was left to grow cold beside him, eventually poured out at the base of the cinnamon tree outside the window. The medicinal pills I had painstakingly crafted, tucked into a sachet for his emergencies, were tossed onto a table, ignored. Even the personal belongings I had left in his courtyard were swept away under his orders.

The religious rituals he had once vowed never to attend with anyone else, he now attended time and again, but with Jiang Nam Khe by his side. The jewelry he had once dismissed as gaudy, he now scoured the capital to find the most exquisite pieces to bestow upon her. Even when he once refused to use his family’s influence to nominate me for anything, he now broke all precedent to bring Jiang Nam Khe to poetry competitions, introducing her to high society.

Behind my back, the servants whispered, "Miss Hua is perfect in every way, but it is a pity her status is low and she is but a simple healer. With her master dead and no backing, how can she compare to the Jiang family? It seems clear now that Miss Jiang is the daughter-in-law the Lady and the Young Master truly desire. Poor Miss Hua, nearly losing her life, only to end up weaving a bridal gown for another."

I heard it all. Every word was like a thorn buried deep in my heart. Every movement brought a sharp pang, and stillness brought a dull, gnawing ache. I was never one to endure such bitterness in silence. I pushed open the doors to the Marquis's study and requested the formal dissolution of our betrothal.