Chapter 1 — Blood Lines Connect Spiritual Roots

When I was young, my body was weak and suffered from many illnesses. Three days of mild illness, five days of severe illness. The Taoist said my destiny was too light and I needed a senior with a strong destiny to suppress it. So my father and mother carried me to the back mountain and told me to bow my head three times before a piece of Thunder Wood Wood. From then on, whenever I felt angry, I would run to him and cry. I cried even if I didn't memorize the lesson. I also cried when the teacher punished me for standing. Even when the divine edict gave the Crown Prince a kiss, I hugged that piece of wood and cried until I couldn't breathe.
“Brother, I don't want to get married.”
In the next moment, from the dry log came a deep, hoarse male voice:
“Then don't get married.”
—
01 When I was seven years old, the capital poured rain for three days. The medicine furnace in Tham Phu also burned for three days. I lay on the bed, my wrist so thin that my mother only needed two fingers to wrap it around it. The doctor came one after another, the prescriptions filled half of the table. My father, Tham Hoai Nghien, stood by the window. Every night, the backs of people passing by become heavier and heavier. Mother Bui Thi hugged me in her arms. Her tears fell on my face, more bitter than medicine. On the afternoon of the third day, the administrator led a traveling Taoist monk into the palace. He looked at me, then looked at the bamboo branch in the yard that was being bent by the rain. He said my fate was too light, my soul was not strong enough to protect my body. His father asked him if there was any way to cure him. The Taoist stroked his beard and told me to find a strong-willed elder to protect me. Mother was stunned. In the house, I am the only daughter, where can I find a brother? The Taoist pointed to the back mountain. He said that last night, lightning broke a hundred-year-old tree. Although the tree is dead, the spiritual energy has not dissipated, it is just right. Originally, my father did not believe these things. But that night, I had a fever again. Her lips were dry and chapped, she couldn't even cry. As soon as it was dawn, my father personally carried me to the back mountain. The rain hasn't stopped yet. The mountain road was slippery, the mother's skirt was covered in mud. I lay on my father's shoulder and saw the dry log on the top of the mountain. It lay horizontally next to a rock, its entire body burned black, with a deep crack in the middle of its body, as if a blade from heaven had slashed straight down to its heart. The surrounding grass and trees were all burned, but it was the only one that did not turn into ash. The Taoist told his father to put me down. I knelt in the mud, so cold that my teeth chattered. The mother held the umbrella, her hands constantly shaking. The father said in a low voice:
“Duong Duong, bow your head.”
I looked at that piece of wood and felt it was both ugly and ferocious. But at that time I no longer had the strength to be afraid. I bowed my head to it three times. When my forehead touched the muddy water, I softly called out:
“Brother.”

The wind blows over the top of the mountain. The crack in the log was filled with rainwater, dark and deep. No one spoke up. The Taoist tied a red thread on my wrist, the other end wrapped around the remaining dry branch of Loi Kich Moc. He said from today, he is my senior. If we have to endure pain, we can go find it. It's okay to want to cry. At that time I was too young, I could only remember the last sentence. It's okay to cry. After going down the mountain, my high fever quickly subsided. Up and down in the palace, everyone said that the Taoist was truly capable. His father rewarded him with a silver box. Mother lit three more lamps in the Buddha hall. Only I remember, that night when the fever subsided, I dreamed that someone used the back of a cold hand to gently touch my forehead. That hand was very cold, but extremely steady. Like rain on the mountains. Just like that blackened piece of wood. From then on, our body gradually got stronger. But his temperament is still weak. If my mother says just one harsh sentence, my eyes can turn red for half a day. The teacher told me to memorize the lesson. Even if I misread two words, I would bow my head and shed tears. Every time my father saw it, he sighed. Every time my mother saw it, she was heartbroken. The maids in the palace secretly said behind my back that I looked like I was made of paper. A little strong wind will tear it. I heard it, but I didn't dare argue. I only knew that when no one was paying attention, I grabbed my small cloak and ran up the mountain. Khuc Loi Kich Moc on the top of the mountain is always there. It doesn't grow leaves, it doesn't bloom, and it doesn't know how to talk. But every time I sit next to it, my heart becomes peaceful. I told him the story about not memorizing the lesson. Tell the story of being punished by a teacher. Even the story of my brother stealing my sugar cake, I also told him. It never responded. But the next day, when my brother was passing through the mountain road, he fell into the mud, crying even louder than me. I stood in the hallway looking at him, holding in my hand the piece of sugar cake I had just found. Mother asked me what I was laughing at. I bowed my head and said nothing. That night, I went up to the back mountain again. I touched the crack in the log and asked in a low voice:
“Brother, did you help me?”
The mountain wind blows. The dry tree branch made a soft sound. It was as if in a far away place, someone had just knocked lightly on the door.
—
02 When I was ten years old, he was changed into a female official and left the palace. Her surname was Sam, her face was cold, her punishment stick was straighter than a bamboo stick. Her father said that she had taught the princess and was the one who understood the rules best. Mother said that in the future I will inevitably have to go in and out of noble people's palaces, and I can't just cry every time I encounter something. I don't dare ask why. Every day, before dawn, we have to wake up, learn how to stand, how to sit, how to walk, how to talk. Mr. Sam said:
“Miss Shen, tears are the most useless thing.”
I nodded. She said again:
“Ladies must not let anger or happiness show on their faces.”
I continued to nod. But as soon as she turned around, my tears fell onto the page. The ink was blurred by tears into a patch. Mr. Sam saw it and his face became even colder. She punished me for holding books and standing in the hallway. The sun was very strong that day. I stood until my legs were weak and my arms were numb. Tham Bao Chau passed by and deliberately stopped in front of me. She is the second uncle's daughter, one year older than me, with a brilliant appearance and great courage. She looked at the book in my hand and smiled softly:
"Dear sister, you don't even know the Female Gender, how will you become the daughter-in-law of a noble family in the future?"
I pursed my lips, not speaking. She moved closer, using a voice loud enough for only us to hear:
“With your sobbing appearance, whoever marries you will be truly unlucky.”

My eye sockets immediately became hot. But Mr. Sam is standing not far away. I cannot cry. I tried my best to hold off until school was over. I didn't even eat lunch, so I grabbed my books and ran to the back of the mountain. The wind in the mountains is very strong. Khuc Loi Kich Moc was still as black as before, half of his body was buried in the rock crevice. I rushed forward, pressing my forehead against its crack.
“Brother…”
As soon as I opened my mouth, my tears kept falling. I said I don't want to learn the rules. I said Mr. Sam doesn't like me. I said Tham Bao Chau doesn't like me either. I even said I didn't mean to cry, but the tears just kept falling. The log still made no sound. I cried until I was tired, lay next to it and fell asleep. When I woke up, the sky was half dark.