Chapter 1 — Five Missed Registrations

This was the fifth time Co Dien Chu and I stood in front of the Civil Affairs Department, and also the fifth time we couldn't hold that fragile marriage certificate. The previous four times, I could always find a reason to make excuses for you. The first time, the company had an unexpected job. The second time, his citizen identification card expired. The third time, he suddenly had a stomach ache and had to go to the hospital. The fourth time, he told the system to go into maintenance and come back another day. But when the same scene repeated itself for the fifth time - he listened to a phone call, then turned to me and said: "Nien Duong, let's do it another day" - I stood on the steps of the Civil Affairs Department, my feet as if they were nailed to the spot. Finally, I slowly began to think about an issue: Did he originally not want to register his marriage with me? Looking at the bottomless darkness in Co Dien Chu's eyes, I suddenly realized that behind this seemingly perfect love affair, there was probably a bloody secret that I had never touched.

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【Chapter 1】 The sunshine in May is very beautiful. The oleander flowers in front of the Civil Affairs Department's door are in full bloom, alternating between pink and white. Three months ago, I marked today's date on my phone calendar and drew a heart. Today, Co Dien Chu wore a light gray shirt, rolled up his sleeves to his forearm, revealing the watch I gave him for his birthday. He held my hand, his thumb gently caressing the back of my hand. Everything was perfect just like the previous four times — until his phone rang. He bent down to look at the screen. I couldn't see the caller clearly, but I clearly saw the change in his facial expression - his eyebrows slightly furrowed, his lips pressed into a tight line, his throat rolling slightly.

“I'll take a call.”

He let go of my hand, turned and walked towards the flower bed next to him. Turn your back on me. His voice was very low, I could only vaguely hear a few words: "...I know... It won't happen..." Less than a minute later, he walked towards me. His facial expression had returned to normal, even carrying a guilty smile.

“Nien Duong, there's a problem with your project, maybe today —”

“Let's do it another day?”

I finish the sentence for you. The voice was very calm. Even I was surprised by this calmness. Co Dien Chu froze for a moment, then, a layer of tenderness and sadness appeared in the bottom of his eyes. He reached out to tuck a strand of hair on my forehead behind my ear.

"Sorry, I will make it up to you later."

If it was before, I would say “It's okay”. I would say “Work is more important”. I will obediently follow him home, wait for him to hug me and whisper, "Next time it will definitely work", then swallow all my feelings in his kiss. But today — I looked at the perfectly apologetic expression on his face and suddenly felt something was wrong. This expression is too mature. It was so skillful that it looked like it had been rehearsed before.

“Okay.”

I smiled, stuffed the household registration book I was holding tightly in my hand back into my bag.

“Then go to work.”

Co Dien Chu looked at me, seemingly about to say something. But in the end, he just patted my head.

"I'll come over and pick you up for dinner tonight."

He turned and walked towards the parking lot, his steps steady, his shirt looking clean and neat in the sunlight. I stood still where I was, looking after him until the black Audi rolled out of the lot, merged into traffic and disappeared at the intersection. Then I looked down at my hand. On his fingertips, there was still the warmth of him when he held my hand just now. But my heart is getting colder, colder. Five times already. We've been together for four years and failed to register our marriage five times. For the first time, I believe. The second time, I sympathize. The third time, I feel sorry for you. The fourth time, I consoled myself, "Next time it will definitely work." Fifth time — I squatted down. In front of the door of the Civil Affairs Department, people passed by, some people held bright red books and smiled brightly, some people walked in hand in hand. I squatted alone next to the steps, staring at a branch of weed growing from a crack in the brick. A thought suddenly flashed in my head that I had never dared to think about: What if he didn't originally intend to marry me? What if these past four years, all the tenderness, all the thoughtfulness, all the “next time for sure” — were all just procrastination? The phone vibrated once. It's a message from Bach Linh. 【Bach Linh: Niem Niem? Have you finished registering yet? Take a photo for me to see!】 I stared at the screen, typed three words and then deleted them, deleted them and typed again, finally replied: 【Tham Niem Duong: Can't register, he has an emergency.】 Bach Linh texted back immediately: 【Huh? Again?? How many times has it been...】 【Bach Linh: Niem Niem, do you want to think seriously about this…】 【Bach Linh: I'm not saying he's not good, but this is really a bit too much.】 I looked at her message, the corner of my mouth slightly raised. Bach Linh is my colleague and best friend. We've known each other since college for six years now, and I tell her everything. Every time I failed to register my marriage, she was always the first person to comfort me. She's right. This is really a bit too much. I stood up, brushed the dust off my dress, and walked towards the bus stop. Take two steps and stop. Turn your head to look at the door of the Civil Affairs Department again. The words "Marriage Registration Hall" reflected the sunlight, so bright that it made my eye sockets sting. I took a deep breath, turned around, and left. When I got home, Co Dien Chu left me a spare key to this apartment. The luxury furnished apartment is one hundred and twenty square meters large, I participated in designing the drawings. Every little detail was made to my liking — the warm lighting, the open kitchen, the hydrangeas on the balcony. I walked into the bedroom and opened the closet. Inside were half my clothes. There are two toothbrushes, two pairs of slippers, and a sticky note on the refrigerator that I wrote — "Milk expires on Wednesday," "Co Dien Chu, if you don't eat fruit anymore, I'll be angry." Everything resembles the appearance of a married family. The only thing — missing that piece of paper. I sat on the edge of the bed, replaying everything that happened today from beginning to end. His expression when answering the phone. The tension passed in that blink of an eye. And the indescribable darkness in his eyes when he said "Let's do it another day" — That's not guilt. It's something more complicated. It was like something was weighing me down and I couldn't breathe. I opened the notes section on my phone, created a new file. Title: 【Five times】 Then I typed each word: 1st time — In March 2023, he said there were problems with the company contract. That day, Bach Linh called and invited me to go see a movie that night. Second time — July 2023, he said his ID expired. That day, Bach Linh invited me to eat cake, saying it was "a little comforting". 3rd time — November 2023, he suddenly had stomach pain. That day, Bach Linh helped me cancel my hotel deposit. 4th time — February 2024, he said system maintenance. That day, Bach Linh went drinking with me until midnight.