Chapter 7 — Five Years of Pursuing Love

15After my last meal with you. I put down my chopsticks and said: "Don't come to my place again in the future!" "Hua Duc, what do you mean?" "It's just what I understand. To be honest, Mom, you really make me suffer, I don't owe you anything anymore, right? The house in the country that sells for money is yours, the house you live in was also bought by me, I also fully bought social insurance for you, when you get old I will take you to a nursing home, but we have little contact. or don't contact me anymore!" "Really, other than suffering, it seems like there's nothing." "Hua Duc, I want to chase you away, you gave birth to me and I treated you like that." "That's right! As you understand, I also don't want you to give birth to me. If you feel dissatisfied, you can sue me, after all, I've thought about it many times, I really don't want to be hurt by anyone anymore." "Human life, why do you always have to be so miserable!" "Mom Forgive me, forgive yourself too! "I don't know what your feelings for me are, but I am a living person, not a slave, not your property, I don't want you to be my mother." I opened my eyes wide and looked at her. The whole person feels a bit stiff. Obviously just a few sentences. Words I wanted to say many years ago. Why is it so difficult? When I was born, the doctor severed the umbilical cord connecting us. And now I cut myself off again. I don't want to give anyone the right to hurt me anymore. No one loves you, so what? I'm still alive. I just want to live well. 16 "No, Tieu Duc, I don't mean that, I just want the best for you..." She explained in a panic. I'm not a child anymore, I don't cry. Just smiled lightly and said: "Don't be afraid, if you don't live with me, I can still live well. I've prepared money for you. I also have social insurance. It's just that you will be very miserable. I won't be able to help but hurt you. So wouldn't it be better if we were apart?" Feeling tired again, I tried to patiently continue to persuade: "Mom, I didn't do anything wrong to you, right?" "Then let me go, okay?" After that meal, she rarely contacted me. Occasionally text me, but most of the time I don't reply. 【Tieu Duc, Mom has enrolled in college for the elderly, won't say those words anymore, okay?】 I don't want to answer anymore. Regardless of what outsiders think! Her relatives once called and scolded me. Say I don't take care of my mother, I will go to hell. How should I take care of myself, I asked myself, I take care of my mother, more than my mother takes care of me. If you don't endure the draining of her spirit, is that not taking care of you? As for going to hell. No problem. The hell of life, I have gone through many times. 17 People say that changing yourself is first of all changing your appearance. Long wavy hair, although beautiful, is really too complicated. I went to the hairdresser to cut my hair short, feeling like my head was lighter. Luc Hac Minh's friend, Tham Nhuong, suddenly sent me a message: 【Hua Duc, a few days ago Hac Minh complained that that girl was clumsy at work, causing a lot of trouble for the company, you have to seize this opportunity!】 I immediately blocked him on WeChat. As a result, he called immediately: "Hua Duc, I didn't do anything to you, why did you block me?" "If you don't do anything, you can't block me? You said things I don't want to hear, he and I are over, telling me these things only bothers me." He joked a few words, saying that Tong Tu gave the wrong contract to the customer, and also embarrassed the customer at the dinner table, causing Luc Hac Minh to lose several large orders, not letting her. stay in the company again. I just replied: “Oh!” I impatiently hung up. Hearing news about them, I didn't feel anything special. Actually I don't know, it's been difficult for me lately

For what reason? 18My best friend Duong Duong came to visit me at home. She blamed me for not telling her about breaking up with Luc Hac Minh. "On your honeymoon, you should have fun! Why listen to these sad stories." "Hua Duc, you're so stupid." She suddenly hugged me. I don't seem to be used to hugging. Then I realized I was in tears. She constantly comforted me. I don't know where to tell her. After the wedding flower throwing event, she asked me many times. I just said it's okay. During this beautiful moment of her life, I don't want this somewhat bad thing to bother her. But when she appeared suddenly like that. My heart suddenly felt sour. It takes a long time to readjust your emotions. I asked unconsciously: "Sisters, do you think I'm... despicable? I don't understand why in the past five years, I've become so vile." Her eyes also turned red. "Honey, you're not a coward! Cowards are those who take advantage of other people's feelings. Those who are truly ungrateful will have to swallow thousands of needles. Luc Hac Minh will never meet anyone in his life who loves him wholeheartedly other than his parents." She looked at me with determination. "Hua Duc, you're so stupid, do you know how many years I've been worried about you? I even thought you were under a spell! I was planning to go to Southeast Asia to find a teacher." We both wiped away our tears. Then she hugged me again, repeating over and over again: "It's all over!" "It's all over, from now on can we love ourselves?" I covered my face with my hands. Unable to hold back, tears overflowed. "I don't know, I don't know, why am I like that? I feel so bad about myself too!" "I don't know, why am I always worried, why do I always feel like I don't deserve him, why do I always have to please him." "You don't know how much I hate myself, it seems like since he helped me, I've put on rose-colored glasses for him, no matter what he does, I I also found a reason to defend him." She took a tissue and carefully wiped my tears. "It's okay, it's okay, everything is over." "Maybe you don't love him, you just love the person you imagine. In difficult situations, people can unconsciously want someone to save them, want a spiritual refuge." "But, Hua Duc, do you know? The person who really saved you from trouble countless times, still It's always you.” After crying that day, the sadness seemed to disappear. I try to go out every day, eat, drink, hang out. Sunbathing, swimming, showering in the rain... When I'm in a good mood, I will carefully apply makeup. Both the figures in the mirror and outside the mirror began to become more vivid. Sometimes I wear high heels, but most of the time I don't. Travel is to please yourself, beauty is just to have fun. It's not because Luc Hac Minh likes me wearing high heels anymore. If I don't like the smell of grease, I don't cook. Unless I'm particularly inspired, I'll cook myself. Most of the time I go to my favorite restaurant near my house to eat. Just order what you want to eat, no need to guess what Luc Hac Minh likes to eat or avoid. Every day Duong Duong gets me a bouquet of flowers and invites me out to eat. To the point where her husband started to react, I had to urge her to go home. Friends are the family we choose. Life doesn't seem so lonely. I looked at the money in my hand, preparing to rest for a while longer. But it hasn't been a few months off. Luc Hac Minh company's personnel called. She said Luc Hac Minh didn't mind me returning to the company, and said my position was still vacant. I only gave her one answer: "Thank you, I don't care." After this, I thought

that I should go to work.