Chapter 5 — Goodbye The One I Love So Much

I looked at the dim shadow in front of me and sighed softly.

“Half a year ago.”

“Why didn't you say anything?”

I patted her hand.

"It's not a bad thing. For me, this disease is a liberation."

“Sorry… Really sorry…”

"I didn't know you were sick, so I was wary of you approaching Quan Nam."

I held Ms. Ly's hand and spoke gently.

“You're not wrong.”

“Because I really have a purpose.”

"Anyway, that's Tham Quan Nam."

“The person I loved for ten years, the person I almost got married to.”

“What do you think I should do to not win him over?”

The cramping pain in my stomach came again. I held my breath for a while, waiting for the pain to subside before raising my hoarse voice.

“If it weren't for this disease, I would definitely cause a riot, because I'm not willing!”

Ms. Ly's sobs made me feel uncomfortable.

"Are you really not going to tell him? There's still a chance, Niem Nhat."

Ms. Ly suddenly changed her mind, making me a bit surprised. I tried to open my eyes wide, not letting tears fall. No matter how unwilling I am, I can only accept my fate.

“No need.”

“We all know that the death of Tham Quan Nam's parents was not an accident, but a case of revenge.”

“If he knew the truth, how much suffering would he have?”

“With his personality, he won't stop there.”

“Maybe he will risk his life to investigate to the end.”

“I don't want him to get hurt again.”

I took a deep breath, my voice choked in my throat.

“You can't just tell him that you're his fiancee…”

“And right after that, let him take care of your funeral.”

“Losing three relatives at the same time, what should he do?”

“He's about to... get married.”

Beside me, Ms. Ly cried more and more intensely. I held her hand and instead comforted her.

“Don't cry for me.”

“When I found out I had the disease, I felt liberated.”

“What has tormented me for so many years is finally about to end.”

“But when I heard the news from Tham Quan Nam, I felt devastated.”

"It's just... when I see him with Diep Ninh, I feel lucky because I have the disease."

“Nim Nhat…”

I turned away, tears flowing down, wetting the pillow.

“You saw it too... he is A Nam.”

“Not your Tham Quan Nam.”

“My Judge Nam... is still waiting for you to come find me.”

"Miss Ly, I'm about to meet him."

Ms. Ly gently hugged me, I also hugged her tightly.

"Miss Ly, can you help me with something?"

That night, Ms. Ly cried and couldn't sleep. As for me, after telling my secret, I could sleep peacefully again. On the morning of the fourth day, I woke up very early. Ms. Ly helped me adjust my wig, and I carefully applied my makeup. She looked at me, frowned.

“Still wearing makeup?”

Since coming here, I wear makeup every day. Because my face is too poor, also because I want to save some face.

“Just hit it a little, look for vitality.”

She didn't say anything more, but her hand movements became gentler. When Diep Ninh brought breakfast, I realized something was wrong with her. Her whole body seemed lost, her expression confused. Waiting until Ms. Ly went out, she approached me.

"Miss Niem Nhat... A Nam is your husband, right?"

My hands are shaking up, the bowl of porridge almost fell to the ground. Before I could answer, she continued.

“I didn't mean to rummage through your luggage.”

“I just want to get clean clothes for you to change into.”

I put down the bowl of porridge and looked at the girl in tears in front of me.

“It was you who took him away.”

“He should have been yours.”

“You possessed him for five years.”

"I'm really sorry, Ms. Niem Nhat... really sorry."

The girl in front of me was crying silently. I gently wiped her tears.

“Diep Ninh, I'm not sorry for you.”

“The person who loves you is A Nam.”

“The person who loves you is Tham Quan Nam.”

“I didn't steal anyone.”

“But A Nam is Tham Quan Nam!”

I shook my head.

“No, the person who loves you is A Nam.”

"The person who loves you... is Tham Quan Nam."

“If you say it's not true, it means it's not true.”

“I risked my life to save you, not to see you break off our engagement.”

Diep Ninh sat next to me until Ms. Ly came back before leaving. Before leaving, her eyes were still red. In the evening, Ms. Ly took the opportunity to go home to rest and conveniently brought me dinner. I couldn't believe that the person who brought the food was Tham Quan Nam. The moment he walked in, I secretly felt lucky that I had makeup on. But at the same time, I was worried about whether the wig would fall out of shape. When he turned around, I continuously adjusted it. Thermal box placed on the table. Inside are soft steamed eggs, milk dumplings, and braised ribs. Maybe he didn't know what I could eat, so he prepared two servings. But what surprised me the most… Was the dessert, sweet potato cheese. I really want to try your braised ribs. I wonder if he added too much soy sauce this time. But my stomach can only hold a few steamed eggs. I sat on the bed, he stood by the window. The two didn't say anything, but it didn't feel awkward either. Before, our afternoons passed like that. I slept until the afternoon, I sat on the window sill playing the guitar, he lay on the bed looking at me. There's no need to say anything, because we understand each other. Luckily today, my stomach didn't upset me. I finished the bowl of steamed eggs. Just as I was about to reach for the cheese sweet potato, he brought it in front of me.

“Thank you.” I said.

He replied calmly.

“No need to thank.”

"It was you who saved Diep Ninh, I should thank you."

Sweet potato cheese is inherently sweet... But at that moment, only bitterness remained in my mouth. After eating a few bites, I finished dinner. I knew he had something to say, but in the end, he only uttered four words:

“Get well soon.”

I know I should say a few words of blessing at this time, like congratulations on the wedding, a hundred years of age... But I can't say a single word.

“Thank you, I hope you two…”

I tried very hard to continue speaking.

“Live well.”

Please forgive me. This is the greatest wish I can give you. Tham Quan Nam nodded slightly, carried the thermos box and left. I followed his back. The moment the door closed, I pulled out the IV tube, dragged my injured legs, and limped to the window. His figure appeared again in my sight. I greedily memorized each of those lines, engraved them deeply in my mind. Anyway... this is the last time I get to see him. The fifth day here, is the day of Tham Quan Nam and Diep Ninh got married. I heard that my seat was arranged right at the front. But unfortunately, I got on the train. I bought the ticket to Lam Thanh a long time ago. Not long after sitting down, the stomach pain came back. Over the past few days, the pain has appeared more and more frequently. I know, the time I asked Ms. Ly is about to come. Since being with Tham Quan Nam, I have become much weaker. Even a little pain makes you nag and get angry. His friends all say he has a hot temper. But ever since he fell in love with me, he has been strangely gentle, tirelessly comforting me. No matter how unreasonable I was, he still indulged me without complaining. I'm also used to that pampering. Every time I cried out in pain, he would hug me tightly, his voice low in my ear.

“My treasure…”

With just that one sentence, all pain disappears. But now, I'm in so much pain that I'm breaking out in a cold sweat. The hand clutched his stomach tightly, his knuckles turning white. If it were before, he would definitely be very sad. It will definitely be like in college, when I got cut on my hand by broken glass. He held my head in his arms, gently comforting me, tirelessly. But now, this pain is a hundred times more terrible. I collapsed on the table, calling his name.

"Than Quan Nam... why haven't you come to comfort me yet?"

The train kept running to the North. Under the influence of painkillers, I gradually fell asleep. In my dream, I went back to high school. Seeing Tham Quan Nam at eighteen years old. In your eyes, there is only me. That boy, only loves me. If there is an afterlife... I hope, in my youth... The first person I meet is still Tham Quan Nam. End