Chapter 1 — I Am the Scourge of the Emperor

On the first day I entered the royal palace, the Emperor passed away. Sent to guard the mausoleum, the mausoleum collapsed again. After that, he was banished to the royal garden to take care of growing vegetables and catching worms. As a result, the entire palace was poisoned by food. Finally, I was escorted in front of the Regent, kneeling on the ground for half an hour before he slowly opened his mouth:

“You, very good.”

I weakly raised my head: “?” He smiled slightly:

“A talented person like you, if you don't let them harmonize with the enemy country, it would be such a waste.”

1

I accomplished the first great thing since coming to this place - killing the emperor. Things to talk about at the grand entrance ceremony. I originally didn't want to enter the palace, but when I heard that the old emperor loved medicinal pills and didn't care about beauty, thinking that the palace was safe, they forced me to apply. But that's just an excuse. Actually, they believed what the roadside fortune teller said that the true dragon energy in the royal palace could suppress our fate, so they pushed it into the palace. Who would have thought... in the end, I was still a master. Locked in the room, reminiscing about what just happened, it still feels like a dream. Two hours ago.

“I heard that the Emperor has not entered the harem for half a year.”

The old mama leading the way coaxed us, "Later, just bow your head and pass by..." Before he finished speaking, I stepped on the hem of my dress, fell down with a "thump" sound in the middle of the main hall, and even pulled down the curtain. There was a loud clanging sound, the pill furnace in front of the Emperor was knocked down, the five-colored medicinal pills rolled everywhere and filled with electricity. In the middle of the main hall, there was silence. I raised my head and met the wide eyes of the old emperor sitting on the dragon chair.

"This lady..." He trembled and pointed at me.

My mind suddenly went blank and I blurted out: "This lady... looks beautiful?"

"This girl... will kill me!" As soon as he finished speaking, the old man's eyes widened and he fell down from the dragon's chair with a "bang".

The royal doctor ran up to check his pulse and announced on the spot - His Majesty froze. Done. I immediately felt a bad omen. We just met once and achieved the achievement of "a farewell look", what will happen next? The main hall was full of beautiful women crying like rain, only I sneezed, causing the ashes of the incense burner to fly into the Prime Minister's nose. The prime minister "sneered" loudly, spitting out his false teeth on the royal physician's collar. The royal historian was startled and jumped up, knocking over the lampstand... By the time everything calmed down, the emperor's dragon robe had burned through three holes.

2

Three days later, I was tied up like banh chung and escorted to Tu Ninh palace. The Queen Mother held the Buddha's rosary and her hands trembled: "I have lived for sixty years, and have never seen a young lady who sent the Emperor away on the first day of entering the palace!" I timidly raised my hand: "Your highness... is there any possibility that... your majesty... was poisoned by the medicine?"

“Shut up!” The Queen Mother threw the tea cup, "Kham Thien Giam said, your order is to commit Thien Sat Co Tinh!"

ta was about to say more, when suddenly a cold laugh rang out from behind the screen. A jet black robe swept across the stone floor, I raised my head, facing a pair of eyes that seemed cold. During the Regent Dynasty, Tieu Hoan An did not know when he was standing there, holding the chapter in his hand.

"The royal mausoleum still lacks a guardian," he said faintly, "will take you there tomorrow."

ta was just about to say thanks, but accidentally hit the corner of the table with his elbow.

"Crack" sound, the jade statue of Avalokiteshvara that the Queen Mother loves most precious, broken into pieces.

The eternal lamp next to it was also swept down, burning half of the Regent's sleeve. Tieu Hoan An's eyes swept over me and then to the pile of debris on the ground. He suddenly curled his lips: "Very interesting." Later I learned that in the chapter he was criticizing that day - "Discuss why the national treasury spent ten times more this year." After I left, the guard brought me new clothes and asked softly: "Your Majesty, is this considered an assassination?" Tieu Hoan An looked at the blackened sleeve and replied: "Consider the injury due to official duty."

3

The emperor's royal mausoleum is truly luxurious beyond my imagination. If you ignore the sign posted in front of the door that reads: "People named Giang and dogs, no entry!"

"It was written by the Queen Mother," the old eunuch brought me over to complain, handily handing me a basket full of paper money, "The lady told me, every day you must bow your head three hundred times and burn five thousand bills."

I looked at the pile of paper money piled up like a mountain in the basket, suddenly thinking about my livelihood:

“My lord, can this paper... be used as toilet paper?”

The old eunuch's face immediately turned from withered bitter melon into dry chrysanthemum buds, his trembling finger pointed at me:

"You, you dare... insult the sacrifice?!"

“It's not what you think!” I hastily explained, "Mainly... the latrine guarding the royal mausoleum doesn't even have a single piece of bamboo, I can't..."

Before he finished speaking, his eyes widened and he fainted on the spot. He fell down, not forgetting to hug the basket of banknotes tightly. After he was carried away, I lit three incense sticks in front of the statue of the first emperor. The person in the painting's eyebrows were kind, but the corners of his lips were drooping fiercely, looking like someone had just been owed eight million taels of silver.

"Your Majesty," I sincerely clasped my hands together and whispered to the painting, "if you are sacred, please tell the Queen Mother in a dream that... I really didn't mean it."

As soon as the words ended, with a "pop" sound, the painting fell, just extinguishing the eternal lamp. Outside the door, the guard's terrifying scream immediately rang out: "The royal mausoleum has appeared—!" Then there was the sound of head banging, like pouring rain.