Chapter 2 — I Am the Scourge of the Emperor

I frantically lifted up the painting, accidentally stepped on the hem of my dress, and with a "swoosh" sound, I tore a large hole in the painting of the first emperor.

“…”

I don't see anything. It wasn't me who did it, it wasn't me who did it! I quickly waved my hand and immediately fled the crime scene. In the middle of the night, the wind and rain broke out. Perhaps because I did bad things during the day, I couldn't sleep. While curled up in a blanket, counting sheep, I suddenly heard a "crack" sound.

"It's probably just the wind causing the tree to rub against the roof..." I turned over, trying to comfort myself.

“BAM——!”

The ground shook, both my body and blanket rolled to the ground. As soon as I opened my eyes, I saw a gaping hole in the roof of the royal mausoleum, and heavy rain poured down straight onto the yellow rosewood coffin of the first emperor. The next day, an official from the Ministry of Public Works came to investigate, and half of the royal mausoleum... had collapsed. I crawled out covered in dust from the ruins, still holding half of the emperor's tablet in my hand. The word "Duc combines heaven and earth" is clever, the word "Duc" is broken in half. The Minister of Public Works' mustache shook and angrily shouted: "Giang, Miss Giang, you want to..." I quickly interrupted, waving my hands wildly: "It's not my fault! It's really not!" He didn't believe it, his eyes widened and he fainted.

4

Later, the Ministry of Public Works discovered that it was due to a hundred-year-old termite nest hollowing out the mausoleum's foundation. But rumors in the capital were rife that I made the emperor so angry that he came back to life. Even the storyteller in the tea house made up a new story: "Concussion! The unfilial beauty made the emperor run away in the middle of the night!" I heard that the Queen Mother even ordered someone to secretly listen to the whole thing. I was punished by Tieu Hoan An to go to the royal garden to work. At Tu Ninh Palace, when the Queen Mother heard the news, she suddenly broke the eighth Buddha necklace.

“Warn!” The guard frantically rushed in:

"The watermelon in the garden has turned mischievous! It's chasing the chef around the garden!"

The Buddha pearl in the Queen Mother's hand fell all over the floor. She tremblingly pointed out the door: "Quick! Quickly bring the Female World, bring it to her!" The second day after being sent to the royal garden, I received three "treasures": A rusty hoe with a blunt blade that could be used as a rolling pin. A straw hat embroidered with the words "Stay away from me" (delicate handwriting, suspected to be written by the Queen Mother). A book 《Farm Book》 and 《Handbook for growing vegetables to avoid lightning》 (the cover page clearly states: Specialized for the Giang family). Administrator Luu Ma Ma kindly advised:

“Miss, our garden vegetables have two taboos. First, absolutely do not talk to the vegetables.

Second,” she pointed towards the white fence in the distance, “that area is landscape plants. If you touch it, you will lose your life.” I nodded solemnly. Then he turned around and knocked down the chili rack. He sneezed and blew away an entire row of rolling seedlings. The cabbage we planted... grew exceptionally well. If you ignore the green caterpillars that follow the sun and rotate on the leaves, it can be said to be extremely lush.

“This is called the biological method of pesticides.” I explained to the general manager who came to inspect.

“Wait until the worms are full then they won't…”

The general manager's face turned pale, his hands trembled and he pointed at my "pesticide" bottle: "You... what did you put in here?!"

“It's mushroom juice!” I held up the colorful mushroom, "Picked it outside the fence, it looks so beautiful!"

For some unknown reason, after I finished speaking, the general manager's face looked as if he had just swallowed a frog alive. That night, the royal room used mustard We grow white rice to cook dinner at night. The next morning, half the court was absent from the court session. According to outside rumors: When the prime minister went to the toilet, he still cursed: "Giang Duong Duong! If this official dies here, he will also be a ghost... love da!" When the maid of the Rites was carried to the Royal Hospital, her hand still clutched the medallion, screaming: "Tru... tru nine clans..." The most miserable was the Minister of the Ministry of War. He insisted that he was a mushroom, wearing an oil-paper umbrella, squatting in the royal garden all night.

5

This was the fifth time I was escorted in front of Tieu Hoan An, my knees almost made a hole in the floor of Kim Loan Palace.

“I heard that…” The man's hand stopped penning, “The white cabbage you planted can… dance?”

I timidly raised my head: "Could it be because the caterpillar became a sperm?" Van and Martial Mandarin at the same time took a breath and immediately retreated three steps. Tieu Hoan An's jet-black sleeve fluttered slightly, revealing a scabbed burn on his wrist - the same spot where I burned his sleeve last time. His eyes turned towards me, suddenly the corners of his lips curled up slightly. My heart missed a beat. Sure enough, the person continued: "A talented person like you, not sending him to be with Bac Dich, is a pity."

6

The day we left the capital, the watermelon in the garden finally became crystallized — literally. Actually, that's where we hide snacks and dig secret holes. One of the largest pumpkins rolled out in front of the strawberry delivery team, and with a "pop" it split in half, revealing a few baked potatoes hidden inside. I don't understand why the Minister of Rites brought them here. He had tears in his eyes: "Please, my lady, take all of these things away!" I was stuffing a bunch of poisonous mushrooms into the gift chest, when I heard that I raised my head:

“Sir, you said… Does the Khan of Bac Dich like the refreshing ant salad?”

The old minister "thumped" and knelt down in front of me, almost startling me. I just heard him sadly say: "I wish Khan, a long life without boundaries!" I looked at him suspiciously. This old minister... could it be that he is a traitor of Bac Dich?