Chapter 5 — I Complete It For Him, He Regrets It All His Life

Co Thanh Yen looked at the words "reconciliation", her fingertips clenched so tightly that the letter paper wrinkled. He suddenly remembered that many years ago, Tham Ngoc Thu seemed to have mentioned this matter. At that time, she stood outside the study room, her face pale, saying that if he really didn't want to see her, she could leave the Marquis Palace. What did he say then? He told her not to pretend to be generous. He said that the position of main wife did not belong to her, and once she took it, she should not expect to use the two words of separation in exchange for a good reputation. He also said that she wanted to leave because she had other plans in her heart. Thinking back now, each sentence was like a blunt blade, not stabbing him immediately, but cutting into his heart little by little. He opened the second letter.

"Husband, it's snowing heavily today. I made a new coat for you. I wonder if you'll like it. If you don't like it, next time I'll change to a lighter one. I don't know what else I can do. I just hope that when it gets cold, you can be a little less cold."

"Husband, today my mother blamed me for not being able to keep your heart. I don't dare argue, because I really can't keep it. But I've tried. I've learned to be a housekeeper, learned to read books, learned to cook your favorite dishes. Would it be that if I just did a little better, would you hate me a little less?"

"Husband, I heard that you dreamed about Uyen Nhi again. If she were still alive, maybe things would be different. I don't blame her, nor do I blame you. I only blame myself, why did I believe that you really wanted to marry me back then."

"Husband, if one day I'm no longer there, can you stop hating me? I'm really tired."

Co Thanh Yen stood there, suddenly feeling a lump in her throat. He remembered the day she was dying. He stood in front of her hospital bed, opened his mouth and asked her to give her burial position to Uyen Nhi. At that time, her eyes looked at him very strangely, without complaint, without begging, there was only an empty space like ashes after the fire went out. She asked him, if there was a next life, could he not come to ask her to marry him again? At that time he did not answer. Because in his heart he still thought she owed them. But at this moment, he held the letters she had never sent, and for the first time, there was no way to deceive himself anymore. The debtor is him. Co Thanh Yen bowed her head, a drop of water fell on the paper, blurring the word "tired". He quickly used his sleeve to wipe it, but the more he wiped it, the more the ink spread. Just like the years that have passed, no matter how much he wants to make up for it now, he cannot make them return to their original state. That night, Co Thanh Yen sat in the old warehouse until dawn. As for the Tham family, I was completely unaware of the letters from my previous life and yet I followed him back to this life. A few days after the rumors, Co Thanh Yen certainly no longer came to the palace casually. Father ordered people to guard the door more strictly, and mother also began to choose my marriage again. Paintings of noble men were placed on the table, some were civil servants, some were from scholarly backgrounds, and some were about to be sent to take up positions far away. Mother asked me who I like. I look at each unfamiliar face on the paper, just feeling my heart calm. In my previous life, I spent my whole life understanding one thing: who I marry is not as important as whether that person really sees me as a living person or not. I'm planning He said that he would let his mother decide when a familiar laugh came from outside the door.

“Are you seriously choosing a husband like choosing a general to go to war?”

I raised my head and saw Luc Lang standing outside the door, holding a bag of hot roasted chestnuts in his hand. He naturally walked in, placed the paper bag in front of me, then glanced at the pile of paintings on the table. The smile on his face was still there, but his eyes had quieted a bit. Mother saw him coming and smiled and said: "A Lang, you came back just in time. Quickly help sister A see if there are any of these gentlemen who are compatible with her?" Luc Lang bowed his head and looked around, so serious that it seemed like he was reviewing military reports.

"This one's eyes are wandering, not trustworthy. This one's shoulders are too thin, if the wind blows, I'm afraid he'll fall. This one's smile is too fake, there must be something wrong in his heart. And this one..."

He stopped, frowning. His mother laughed and scolded him for talking nonsense. I also couldn't help but laugh. Luc Lang looked at me and smiled, the corners of his lips curled up. But when his mother temporarily went out to order someone to make tea and there were only the two of us left in the room, he suddenly quieted down. He asked: "Do you really want to marry far away?" I looked at the hot chestnut in my hand and replied softly: "If marrying far away can leave old things behind, it's not bad." Luc Lang was silent for a long time.