Chapter 1 — I Will Not Marry the Gu Family in This Life

On the night I was to be wed, my younger sister hanged herself. In the suicide note she left behind, every word dripped with a desperate, obsessive devotion to Gu Tu-yuan.

“From childhood to this day, my sister has always shone brighter than I. I dare not vie with her, nor could I ever hope to win.”

My parents blamed me, claiming my brilliance had made her feel small and unworthy. Gu Tu-yuan, too, lamented that it was not she whom he was marrying. They mourned her for the rest of their lives, and for all those years, they held me in contempt, as if her death were a debt I owed them. But as fate would have it, I have been granted a second life. Everything is still within reach. Lady Gu arrived at our home today to formalize the marriage arrangements between me and her son. I declined with practiced grace.

“Shu-ning has already given her heart to another.”

01

Lady Gu was startled for a moment, then let out a light, mocking laugh.

“This child has grown up side-by-side with Tu-yuan. She has never interacted with any other man; where could this supposed beloved come from?”

My mother chimed in with a forced smile, attempting to smooth the awkwardness.

“The one in Shu-ning’s heart must surely be Tu-yuan himself. She is only playing coy.”

“That is not so.”

I bowed gracefully toward Lady Gu. “Forgive me, Aunt, but it is precisely because Tu-yuan and I were raised together like brother and sister that our bond has remained that of siblings. There has never been room for any other sentiment.”

Just then, Gu Tu-yuan appeared at the threshold of the hall.

“Like brother and sister?”

He repeated the words, his expression unreadable. Yes, like siblings. Those four words were exactly what he had said to me in my previous life. Every single day, he had mourned the fact that he had not married my sister.

“I once thought you were the one I truly loved,” he had confessed back then. “But after she passed, I realized my affection for you was merely the bond of a brother for a sister.”

He had pined for the girl who used to hide behind the rockery to steal glimpses of him. He had obsessed over the girl who lacked my poise and wisdom, but whose heart was entirely consumed by him. Even the daughter we eventually had was named Nian-qiao, simply because my sister’s name was Shu-qiao. My parents frowned, their eyes conveying their disappointment in my lack of tact. Lady Gu’s expression had also soured.

“What is this? Has the Shen family begun to look down upon the Gu family now?”

This union had been arranged by our ancestors long ago. Later, my father moved our family to the capital to build our fortune, eventually surpassing the Gu family in official rank. Yet, my parents never intended to break the betrothal. As the eldest daughter, this burden was mine to bear. My mother pinched my arm hard, speaking over me.

“How could that be? Perhaps Shu-ning is simply acting out in a fit of childish temper.”

Lady Gu would not let it go, her tone dripping with veiled insults.

“Is that so? Everyone knows the eldest daughter of the Shen household is the most sensible and cultured. Perhaps now that her reputation is so widespread, her standards have grown just as lofty.”

My father pointed at me, his voice trembling with rage. “Does a marriage of such importance belong to you to decide? If you will not marry him, then who will?”

So, they were well aware that my life was not mine to govern. Yet, in my previous life, they had placed the weight of my sister’s suicide solely upon my shoulders, despite the fact that I had never even known she harbored such feelings for him. I spoke each word with deliberate clarity.

“Father, Mother, the Shen family has more than one daughter.”

Only then did Lady Gu recall my younger sister.

“The second young lady? But there is no precedent for a younger sister to marry before the elder.”

My mother nodded in agreement. “My younger daughter is still so young; what could she possibly know of such things?”

With a few dismissive remarks, my sister, who was only a year my junior, was reduced to an ignorant child. Gu Tu-yuan shook his head, reprimanding me for dragging her into this mess.

“Do you truly think Shu-qiao would be willing to marry me?”

From just outside the doorway, a clear, resolute voice rang out.

“I am willing!”

My sister’s eyes were filled with unshakeable determination. She spoke with solemn gravity, “Brother Tu-yuan, I am willing to marry you.”

02

Long before Lady Gu’s arrival, I had sent for my sister. She loved Gu Tu-yuan with a desperate fervor; she would never let this opportunity slip through her fingers. I had only underestimated how bold she could be. Right in front of Lady Gu, my sister knelt before our parents and laid bare her love for him.

“We are both daughters of the Shen family. Why can my sister marry him, but I cannot?”

“Do you truly favor my sister so much that you would deny me this?”

Tears streamed down her face, softening my parents’ resolve. If there was anyone in this house who had been favored, it was my sister, not I. For years, I had maintained a reputation of virtue and grace to uphold my father’s status, attracting endless suitors. My parents had used my betrothal as a shield to turn them all away, despite the many powerful families among them. People often remarked that if the elder sister was so refined, the younger must be equally exceptional. Though Gu Tu-yuan had passed his examinations, his family status was far below the noble houses that sought my hand. My parents had hoped for a better match for my sister. But they had not anticipated that her love for him had reached such a fever pitch that she would sacrifice her life for it. Seeing her like this, they had no choice but to waver. Gu Tu-yuan spoke, his voice gravelly.

“Shu-qiao is still so young…”

Lady Gu hurried to intervene, “Indeed, Shu-qiao is a child. How could she marry before her sister?”

My sister looked at Gu Tu-yuan, her eyes brimming with unshed tears.

“Brother Tu-yuan, I have passed my coming-of-age ceremony long ago.” She paused, her gaze piercing. “Or perhaps, it is that you truly love my sister and not me?”

Gu Tu-yuan immediately denied it.

“If the younger Miss Shen is truly willing to marry me, I would be overjoyed.”

His heart was swayed, and hers was already pledged.