Chapter 2 — I Will Not Marry the Gu Family in This Life

In this life, the betrothal has finally reached its fruition. Yet, as Mistress Gu departed, her expression was etched with profound displeasure. My younger sister returned to her chambers, brimming with radiant joy, while my parents immediately commanded me to kneel. They rebuked me harshly, accusing me of callously pushing this marriage onto my sibling.

If you had simply agreed from the beginning, your sister would never have rushed forward to take your place in this union, they chided.

But I knew the truth: had I truly consented, I would have ultimately become the one held responsible for any future misfortune. My mother simply refused to believe that I had already given my heart to another. You have always been such a sensible, obedient child, she lamented, why must you be so foolish now? The daughter-in-law Mistress Gu sought was one capable of managing a household with the grace I possess. My sister will surely endure nothing but hardship and exhaustion in that house.

Indeed, marrying into the Gu family was never a blessing. Yet, they had never once considered what might be best for me. It was true that I held no romantic affection for anyone, but the Grand Princess had once mentioned in confidence that her own nephew was currently unbetrothed. If you are willing, she had promised, I shall personally act as your matchmaker. At the time, I had offered a polite refusal, claiming that I was already spoken for. Reflecting upon it now, any marriage would be preferable to the stifling confines of the Gu household. Upon hearing the mention of the Grand Princess, my parents ceased their interrogation. They reasoned that if I could indeed forge a connection with the Grand Princess’s estate, it would only make life easier for my sister in the Gu household.

Once I returned to my own room, the maid I had sent to inform my sister of the visitors arrived to confess her failure. When I reached the Second Mistress’s quarters, there was no one to be found, she reported. I was struck dumb. If my sister had not been fetched, she had gone to the front hall of her own volition. But how could she have known of Mistress Gu’s arrival to request a match? A dark suspicion began to take root in my heart.

After the marriage was formalized, the betrothal gifts from the Gu family were delivered. My sister glowed with happiness, spending her days embroidering her wedding attire. Whenever Gu Tu-Yuan came to visit, she would always pull him away, ensuring he stayed clear of my presence. Once news spread that the Shen and Gu families were united, the Grand Princess sent a formal invitation—addressed solely to me. My sister looked at the exquisite parchment, her eyes filled with undisguised envy. It is always you who is favored by others, she murmured. Even without the Gu alliance, there is an even better match waiting for you.

In her eyes, I had always been the one bathed in light. She could never fathom the price I paid to maintain such a standing. When our parents first arrived in the capital, we were strangers in a foreign land. My mother lacked social finesse, and my father faced endless obstacles in his official career. It was I who braved the social gatherings, managing the delicate diplomacy required to secure our position. The ladies and noble daughters of the capital do not offer their friendship for mere pleasantries or simple handkerchiefs; the sheer exhaustion of navigating those circles is impossible to quantify. Only as my reputation grew did my father’s path become smooth. The rumors of our success spread, with outsiders praising the Shen family for raising such a virtuous daughter. For my sister, these efforts brought only benefit and no harm. I loved her as much as my parents did, for she was the sister who had grown up by my side. Yet, it was this same sister who had hanged herself on the day of my own wedding in our previous life, casting an eternal shadow over my existence.

In this life, I no longer offered her the comfort she expected. I merely offered a cold, indifferent response. My sister’s eyes reddened as she asked if I were angry with her. You have always loved me, she whispered, you have never been so distant. Could it be that you still harbor resentment over my engagement to Brother Tu-Yuan?

Having arrived late to the scene, she had not heard me refuse the union. She assumed the families had decided upon her fate during their negotiations. She clutched my hand, pleading for forgiveness. Sister, it was wrong of me to take your place, but you already have so much, whereas he is all I have. Can you forgive me?

I realized I could not. It was not because of Gu Tu-Yuan, but because of the haunting memory of her tragic end. Perhaps her world was so narrow that it contained only one ambition: to marry him. If she succeeded, she lived; if she failed, she would perish. As I turned to walk away, I encountered Gu Tu-Yuan approaching. We had not spoken since his mother’s visit, and he looked at me as if there were words he wished to utter. I had nothing left to say to him. Upon seeing him, my sister grasped at him like a drowning woman. Brother Tu-Yuan, please, speak to my sister for me, she sobbed. I did not mean to steal you away. Tell her not to be angry.

Gu Tu-Yuan looked on, momentarily stunned. Is your sister truly angry? he asked.