Chapter 3 — Light as Down

My parents showered my eldest sister with endless praise, while my eldest brother chimed in with grievances of his own.

It is fortunate that Moon Speech has salvaged our family honor. You have no idea, Mother and Father; before this, everyone knew Gentle Breeze was destined to marry into the Eastern Palace as the Crown Princess, so they all curried favor with me. If I had truly lost that connection, I cannot imagine how the descendants of other noble families would have mocked me!

Gentle Breeze, you are truly inferior to Moon Speech in every way; you only know how to bring shame upon the Duke of Peace estate. In my opinion, you would be better off staying inside instead of going out to make a spectacle of yourself!

My mother echoed these accusations: It is still Moon Speech who is sensible. Despite having secured her own wealth and status, she did not forget to find a good marriage match for her younger sister. Otherwise, I would be worried that Gentle Breeze might never be able to marry at all.

Why would she not be able to marry? Even if the Crown Prince has annulled the engagement, she remains the legitimate daughter of the Duke of Peace estate. It is only that finding a high-status match will be difficult; we will simply have to make do with whatever remains.

I sat quietly in my chair, listening to these reproaches, my heart heavy with an unbearable ache. Everything had changed six months ago, when my eldest sister was brought back from Yangzhou. An old acquaintance of my father had happened upon her while she was working as an embroiderer in a pleasure house. Finding her face familiar, he checked the birthmark on her wrist. Once he confirmed she was indeed the daughter lost for ten years, he brought her back to the capital immediately. When she first returned to the estate, my parents were overcome with joy and anxiety. I was nervous as well. Having not seen her for so many years, I wondered if she even remembered me. At that time, she was gaunt and sallow, dressed in tattered rags, her face smeared like a dirty cat. My parents, hearts breaking, rushed to embrace her and wept. Only I, feeling a prickle of doubt, let a question slip: Why is my eldest sister dressed in such rags? Did Uncle Xu not prepare a new set of clothes for you?

I had asked quite innocently, without a second thought. To my shock, my sister immediately looked profoundly wounded, her eyes welling with tears as she choked out a sob. You, who are dressed so luxuriously, must be my younger sister. If I had not been lost all those years ago, perhaps I would be like you—nurtured in silk and velvet, held in the palms of our parents’ hands...

As she spoke, she wiped her eyes with an embroidered handkerchief, weeping so piteously that anyone would feel moved. Younger sister, do not worry, I do not blame you. Perhaps back then, Mother and Father loved me more than you... and so you grew jealous, causing me to...

It was then that I realized. She had intentionally dressed that way to stir up pity and remorse in our parents. My father flew into a rage and struck me across the face. In an instant, my cheek swelled, burning and red. So it was you who intentionally caused Moon Speech to be lost all those years ago! Even at such a young age, you were filled with such jealousy—she is your older sister!

I am three years younger than my eldest sister; how could I possibly have harbored such thoughts?

My parents then seemed to blink, as if realizing they had wrongly accused me. However, they could never admit they were wrong. My sister had just returned, and they did not want her to feel they were biased. Even if they were, they had to favor the daughter who had wandered the world for ten years. When leading her to her new quarters, as we passed my courtyard, she stopped and asked plaintively, Father, Mother, may I reside in this courtyard?

I hurried to explain, Eldest Sister, this is my courtyard...

Her gaze dimmed instantly, and she murmured, This place is decorated so elegantly. How wonderful it would be if this were my room...

My heart sank, and I unconsciously gripped my handkerchief. If you like it, eldest sister, I shall have someone decorate your room exactly like mine tomorrow.

Mother glared at me and shoved me aside. Since Moon Speech likes it, she shall have this courtyard.

But...

But what? This is what you owe your sister. Furthermore, she has suffered so much hardship out in the world; what does it hurt for you to yield to her a little?

I was silenced, forced to swallow the words that burned in my throat. In the end, I had no choice but to pack my belongings and move to the room my sister had previously occupied. Upon arrival, I found it thick with cobwebs, untouched and neglected. I sent my maid, Spring Ivy, to fetch cleaners. To my surprise, she returned moments later, fuming.

What is the matter? I asked.

The maid replied, Young Mistress, everyone is busy cleaning the eldest mistress's new room. Your belongings were simply tossed aside. It is clear she never cared for your room, yet she insisted on taking it and drove you out!

Knowing she was feeling slighted on my behalf, I consoled her. Once we calmed down, we began to clean the room together. We did not finish until the hour of the Ox. Exhausted, we collapsed onto the chaise longue. The next morning, I went to my old courtyard to retrieve my remaining things, only to find them all thrown into the dirt, filthy and ruined. I was trembling with indignation and went to demand an explanation from my sister. She immediately burst into tears, crying, I thought those were items you no longer needed! Do not blame me, it is all my fault. I will move out at once...

I had not yet opened my mouth when my parents interrupted, their faces twisted with anger as they reprimanded me. Moon Speech is your older sister; what harm is there in yielding to her just this once?