Chapter 4 — Light as Down

She wandered out there for ten years, suffering in loneliness and despair. How could you be so cruel!

I wanted to explain, but they refused to listen. Eventually, I grew tired of trying. I knew they blamed me for the eldest sister’s disappearance, harboring resentment because I had supposedly failed to protect her. But what did that have to do with me? At the time, I was only six years old, and she was three years my senior. Instead of reflecting on their own failures, they chose to heap all the blame upon a young child; how utterly laughable. That day, it was the eldest sister who took me to the Southern Market, claiming she wanted to buy me candied hawthorns and instructing me to wait in one spot. I waited for hours until the sun set and the streets emptied. If our parents had not frantically come searching, I surely would have been lost as well. To make amends for the eldest sister’s neglect, I relinquished everything that was rightfully mine.

Later, when she reached the age for marriage, most young ladies of the capital were already wed. Our parents found several suitors for her, but she found none to her liking. Then, during a poetry gathering, she caught sight of the current Grand Secretary, Pei Zhi Yan, and immediately became enamored with him, insisting she would marry no one else. She sent him countless letters, all of which were rejected. Having lived among commoners for so long, she lacked the refined manners of the nobility and even attempted to force her way into the Pei estate. Pei Zhi Yan had already been avoiding her like the plague, and such brash behavior only deepened his disdain. The very next day, he sent a letter to my father, demanding that he discipline his daughter. Only then did the eldest sister finally relent. I do not know where she heard that the Crown Prince would soon be selecting a consort, but she demanded to accompany me. Even after our parents explained that I was already the designated Crown Prince Consort and that this selection was merely a formality, she refused to listen.

Mother, I just want to broaden my horizons. I have never entered the imperial palace, and I want to see it with my own eyes.

Mother, pitying her, gave in. Three days before the selection, the eldest sister brought a plate of pastries, claiming she wanted to mend our relationship. I ate a few pieces. Within minutes, my throat felt scorched, and red welts broke out across my skin. The physician declared it an allergic reaction. Had it not been treated promptly, my throat would have constricted, leading to suffocation. I brought this to my parents’ attention, but mother only responded with indifference, saying that she did not mean to do it and could not have known I was allergic to osmanthus cake.

I swallowed my resentment. Because my condition was severe and I could not be seen, I had to wear a veil. Consequently, I could not appear at the selection, creating the perfect opportunity for the eldest sister to shine. Watching the three of them acting like a perfect family, my heart ached. I hurried back to my room, unable to sleep for the entire night.

Three days later was the Princess’s birthday celebration. The welts on my body had not yet faded, so I remained veiled. The eldest sister strolled through the imperial garden with the Crown Prince, laughing and blushing with shy affection. I found a quiet corner to sip tea. Just as my lips touched the cup, a haughty voice rang out: Are you the one called To Khanh Nhu?

I bowed in greeting, but she looked at me with open contempt. I recognized her as the granddaughter of Grand Tutor Ly, who had long been infatuated with Pei Zhi Yan. It was clear she was not here with good intentions. You are truly disgusting! Rejected by the Crown Prince, you now cling to my brother Zhi Yan. You wretch, go to hell!

Before she could finish, she lunged to shove me into the pond. Fortunately, I managed to hook my foot around hers, and we both tumbled into the water. As the Lady Ly thrashed about, screaming for help, a figure in green robes dashed forward and jumped into the water without hesitation to pull me out. I thanked him immediately. He offered a faint smile, and when I looked up at his face, I froze. He was strikingly handsome—more so than the Crown Prince. My face turned bright red. He pulled a handkerchief from his robes and handed it to me; it was embroidered with the character for Pei. I started in surprise. Are you... Pei Zhi Yan?

He smiled. Long time no see, Second Miss To.

At that moment, the eldest sister and the Crown Prince arrived. Zhi Yan, what happened? the Crown Prince asked in a cold voice. I quickly turned away to adjust my veil. Pei Zhi Yan brushed the water from his clothes and stood slowly. Your Highness, Lady Ly pushed Second Miss To into the pond. Fortunately, I arrived in time to save her.

Seeing the eldest sister clutch her handkerchief and glare, I heard her sharp, accusatory voice: Is it truly appropriate for you to be so intimate with my sister in broad daylight, Master Pei?

Pei Zhi Yan already despised her. Hearing her sarcastic tone, he furrowed his brows in clear irritation. Are you implying, Miss To, that you would have preferred to watch your own sister drown?

The eldest sister gritted her teeth in rage, but Pei Zhi Yan ignored her completely. He smiled thinly and added, Furthermore, the Second Miss To is my betrothed. Is there anything improper about me risking my life to save her?

The eldest sister frowned, pointing a finger at him in fury. Seeing this, I began to cough violently.