Chapter 1 — Mom's Perfect Cousin

Everyone my mother met complimented her cousin: "She is both understanding and talented. Unlike my child, she doesn't know how to do anything." I heard that sentence for more than twenty years, and finally smiled and said: "Okay, then welcome your cousin to stay, so that he can perform well." My mother was overjoyed and welcomed her cousin home that same day. The next day, I applied for a business trip and left without any problems. Three days later, my father called me in the middle of the night, his voice trembling from exhaustion: "Go home quickly, this house is no longer livable." My younger brother was even more straightforward, immediately sending more than a dozen voice messages: "Sister, I'm begging you, I'm going crazy!" 01 My mother started again. On the dining table. A plate of stir-fried and sour cabbage has just been served. The heat is still lingering. "Look at Hieu Van's family." Mom used chopsticks to tap the edge of the plate. Clear sound. It's like drawing a conclusion to something. “She just won a full scholarship.” “His mother called yesterday and told him he was preparing for the civil service exam.” “I heard that in their small place, this year they only recruited one person, everyone said she had the most hope.” I said nothing. Turn around and go into the kitchen. Scoop a bowl of soup from the clay pot. I placed the bowl of soup next to my father's hand. His stomach is not good. Before eating, drink soup. My younger brother bowed his head into the bowl. The phone was propped up on an empty bowl next to it. The sound of killing in the game is as loud as it gets. Makes the table top vibrate. “I'm eating rice.” Dad took a sip of soup, his eyebrows relaxing a bit. He jerked his chin toward my younger brother. “Stop saying a few words.” This sentence is said to my mother. Also talking to yourself. More like a declaration of helplessness. Claimed that he did not want to participate. Mom didn't pay attention to him. Her eyes were like headlights. Exactly shining straight on me. “I did it because I wanted it to be good!” Her voice suddenly rose high. “You look at it.” “More than twenty years old.” “Ordinary work, no goals.” “What's the use of staying at home all day, trying to cook these dishes?” "Can it be eaten instead of rice? Can it be exchanged for spending money?" I picked up her bowl. Give her a full bowl of rice. Bring it over. “Mom, let's eat.” Her anger has no place to vent. She took it and placed it firmly on the table. A few grains of white rice were shaken to the point of bouncing. “Mom is talking to you!” “This child, why is he becoming more and more taciturn?” “Not cute at all.” "Someone like Hieu Van, has a sweet mouth, is delicate, and knows how to behave." "Last time he came, he even brought me that silk scarf, and your father also told me to wear it to look younger." Dad immediately bowed his head and drank the soup. Pretend like you didn't hear. My younger brother said in an unclear voice: "Sister, where is my Coca?" I took the Coke out of the refrigerator. Pour him a full cup. The ice cubes hit the sides of the cup. Jingle. “Hieu Van said he will come visit us in a while.” Mom finally found a new topic. His face immediately brightened. “He said he wanted to find opportunities in the big city.” “Mom said okay, just come stay at our house.” I just sat down quietly. Pick up your chopsticks. Pick up a piece of sauteed and sour cabbage. Brackish. When I was pouring soup, I forgot to turn off the stove. "Look everyone, I just said a few words and he's already unhappy." “The face is as long as Truong Bach Mountain.” “It's true that I raised it this big and it was too much.” “There is no gratitude.” “If you understood half as much as Hieu Van, I would laugh even in my dreams.” I heard those words. Been listening for over twenty years. Since Hieu Van passed the entrance exam for a key secondary school. Until he became the student council president. Then won all kinds of awards. My life. It seems to exist only to serve as a negative reference for it. I've been heartbroken before. Used to secretly cry. I couldn't help but explain. “Mom, I also ranked in the top ten of my class.” “Mom, I also got a reward this month.” What I always get back is: "Do you still want to compare with others?" "Understanding Van's family..." I won't say it anymore after that. It's useless to talk. In mother's womb. My cousin is the moon in the sky. Clear, bright, flawless and flawless. And I am the mud under my feet. Step on pussy

I'm still afraid of getting my shoes dirty. I ate all the rice in the bowl. Start cleaning up the dishes. The younger brother pushed the bowl aside, the sound of the game became even louder. Dad put down the bowl, picked up the newspaper and went into the living room. Mom is still talking. "Hieu Van's mother is truly blessed, why don't I have such a good fate..." I looked at the night outside the window. Somewhere in my heart. It seemed like something had broken. 02 The next day is the weekend. As usual, I got up early in the morning. Go to the market to buy the freshest ribs and fish. Dad likes to eat braised fish. My younger brother likes sweet and sour stir-fried ribs. As for my mother... she's not picky about eating, but she likes to blame me for buying too expensive things. I brought food into the house. The living room is empty. Only mom's phone screen is on. She was on a video call with her aunt. She is also Hieu Van's mother. “Oh, please stop praising her.” My mother laughed until her face was full of wrinkles. "Our Hieu Van family really has a will, since we were young we didn't need others to worry." "It's not like my family, I have to supervise everything." “Yes, yes, just let him come, come to my house, stay as long as he wants!” "It's good to leave the child alone, making people less worried that my family will learn Hieu Van properly." I put food in the kitchen. The sound of the door opening is neither loud nor soft. The aunt on the other end of the video must have heard it. Mom turned her head to look at me. It's like I just ruined her fun. She said a few more sentences into the phone. “Okay, okay, it's back, I won't tell you anymore.” "Bao Hieu Van, don't worry, the room is already prepared for him." “I'm hanging up now.” The phone screen goes dark. The living room became quiet again. Mom comes. Stick your head out and look at the food in the kitchen. “Why did you buy so much?” “Don't you know how to save money to live?” “Is your little salary enough to spend like that?” I turned on the faucet and started washing vegetables. “Dad wants to eat fish, I want to eat ribs.” I said. “If they want to eat, you buy it?” “There is no opinion at all.” “In the future, if I give this house to you, sooner or later it will be destroyed by you.” "You look at Hieu Van's family, they know how much they spend." "I heard that his living expenses are only eight hundred yuan a month, and he still saves money." I turned off the water. Turn around and look at her. “Mom, Xiaowen's monthly living allowance is three thousand yuan.” “Auntie said so.” Mom was stunned. “She's just showing off and bragging!” “What do you know!” “How can a good child like Hieu Van spend so much money!” “She must have remembered wrongly!” She found the perfect reason. A reason that might help her continue living in her fantasy. She firmly believes that Hieu Van is a perfect saint, diligent, well-educated, and has good qualities. “I'm just jealous because Hieu Van is better than me.” She came to a conclusion. "Narrow-minded, unable to tolerate others." “Why did I give birth to a daughter like you?” Having finished speaking, she turned and returned to the room. With a "bang" the door closed. Leave me alone. Standing in a kitchen filled with fresh ingredients. Like an intruder who doesn't belong here. Noon. I made four savory dishes and one soup. Braised fish. Stir-fried sweet and sour ribs. Stir-fried broccoli. Along with a bowl of egg tomato soup. Dad eats very well. “This fish dish is delicious, better than the restaurant.” He gave me a piece of fish belly. “Eat a little more, you look skinny.” Mom snorted coldly. “Just eat.” “If he spent half of his cooking energy on work, I wouldn't have to worry like that.” My younger brother suddenly said: "Sister, this weekend my classmate wants to go to the farm resort." “I want to go too.” “Two days and one night, three hundred yuan.” Mom immediately continued: "Let's go somewhere!" “Only know how to spend money!” “Is it easy for your sister to make money?” My brother looked at me. In the eyes is a dependence that has become a habit. I know. As long as I nod, mom won't say anything else. The money in this house is managed by me. All major expenses are paid by me. Including pocket money and extra tuition for my younger brother. “Go away.” I took out three hundred yuan from my wallet. Give it to him. “Pay attention to safety.” The younger brother happily received it. Mom opened her mouth, but in the end she said nothing. It's just that the look in my eyes became more complicated. It's like looking at a tool that won't listen. Evening. I take a shower

then go out. Saw my mother sitting on the sofa in the living room. Don't turn on the lights. Dark as pitch. Only the light from the TV screen shined on her face. Morning and evening. “Mom, what's wrong?” I go. She didn't look at me. Still watching family movies on TV. Slowly said: "Next week Hieu Van will come." “He wants to sign up for an English speaking class to learn quickly.” “Right near our house.” My heart suddenly jumped. How to register for class? This means wanting to stay long term. “He said he didn't want to spend the family's money.” Mom continued talking. “I want to find a part-time job.” “Tell me, how understanding this child is.” “I was thinking, maybe you…” I see. She wants me to pay this money. Use my money to gild your “perfect daughter.” Then used that gilded "perfect daughter" to highlight my wretchedness. “It still speaks.” Mother's voice carried boastfulness. “At home he does everything.” “Cooking rice, washing clothes, everything is proficient.” "He said that once he comes to our house, he can't eat and stay for free, he will do all the housework." “So you can rest properly too.” I looked at her. Dark. Her facial features were vague and unclear. But I could clearly feel the thorns in her words. Thorns that she herself did not recognize, or was too lazy to recognize. Each one is clear. Stabbed in my heart. I suddenly felt very tired. A fatigue seeped from every bone. It's been more than twenty years. I'm like a perpetual machine. Serving this family. I used to think that I just needed to do enough and well enough. Then one day there will be a word of recognition in return. Now I understand. I was wrong. In her world. My existence itself was a mistake. All my efforts merely provided endless fuel for her favoritism. 03 I burst out laughing. Dark. I clearly heard my own laughter. In this quiet living room. It became extremely sudden. Mom was startled by my laughter. She turned her head. Looking at me suspiciously. “What are you laughing at?” “Crazy crazy crazy.” "Nothing." I went to sit next to her. Take an apple from the fruit plate. Slowly peel. “I just feel like you're right.” Mom was stunned. Perhaps in her entire life, she never thought that I would frankly admit her "rightness" like that. “Mom… what did you say?” “Understanding Van.” I gave the peeled apple to her. She unconsciously took it. “Mom is right, Hieu Van is a good child.” “Understanding things, being talented, knowing how to love others.” "It's not like you, you don't know what to do, you make your mother angry." Mother's expression changed from surprise to joy. She felt I was "in the clear". “You can think like that, it proves you have grown up.” She patted my hand.