Chapter 2 — Only After Leaving You Will Regret It

Reheat three or four times. The kitchen light is always on until midnight. I won't wait anymore after this. But the rice still cooks. Who knows, maybe one day he'll be back on time. Then one day. He really returned. As soon as I opened the door, I saw four dishes and one soup on the dining table. He stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds. I reflexively explained: "I didn't cook it. I just put it outside, I'm too lazy to throw it away." He truly believed it. That year he had a stomach hemorrhage and had to be hospitalized. I stayed by the hospital bed for three days and three nights. When you wake up. He looked at me. Then said one sentence: "You have worked hard." Yet he said something like that to me. I gave him the apple I had just finished peeling. He didn't accept. Turning around, he told his assistant: "Remember to monitor her project closely." She. It is the white moon light in his heart. Second year of marriage. I'm pregnant. It was a rare day that he was at home. I took the pregnancy test out of the bathroom. He was sitting on the sofa watching the report. The head doesn't even lift up. I placed the pregnancy test on the file. Two red lines appeared clearly before his eyes. He frowned. Lift the pregnancy test stick aside. "When?" "About two months ago. The time I got drunk." He was silent for a long time. It was so long that the only sound left in the living room was the ticking of the clock hands. Finally he spoke up: "This baby, if you want to give birth, just give birth. I won't stop you. But you have to understand, maybe I can't give it too much."At that time I naively thought. No problem. What I can't give you. I'll make up for it twice. Examine your body alone. Go into the delivery room alone. The day I gave birth, the nurse asked me if I was in pain. I said it doesn't hurt. The nurse smiled and said I was very good. But in reality, it hurts to the point of death. It's just... There's no one next to me so I can weakly say one sentence: "I'm so hurt." Niem An was born as a boy. The nurse brought the baby in for me to see. A small ball of cotton wrinkled, the cry was extremely loud. I named my child Niem An. A year later, I gave birth to two more twins. Named Niem Du and Niem So. Niem An is the eldest brother. At just three years old, he already resembles an adult brother. Frequently help me comfort the two children. Niem Du smiles often. Everyone who carried him smiled widely. And Niem So looks exactly like his father. Cry less. Rarely smile. Just quietly opened his dark eyes to look at the world. The first time Pho Canh Sam met Niem Du and Niem So, they were a month old. He stood next to the baby's crib and looked for a long time. Then he asked me: "Are they twin boys?" "Um." He gave me a bank card. "Living money. You've worked hard." I didn't refuse. Because hiring a nanny, buying milk powder, diapers... everything requires money. I have never spent more than a penny on that card. Every expense is carefully recorded in a book. I always thought I would pay him back later. Third year after marriage. I learned to be silent. No more sitting on the sofa waiting for him late at night. No more asking if he will come home for dinner today or not. No more trying to tell him that Niem An already knows how to call mom. One time Niem An had a high fever. I held my child alone until four in the morning. The light in the hospital hallway was cold and white. Niem An had such a fever that she cried non-stop. I hug my child. Then cry too. I made three phone calls to Deputy Canh Sam. Only on the third call did he pick up the phone. On the other end of the line was loud, mixed music. He said: "I'm receiving guests. Take the car to the hospital yourself." I replied: "Okay." Then hung up. Hugging Niem An rushed straight into the rain. That day it rained very heavily. I waited for a taxi for more than half an hour. Niem An's body temperature is getting higher and higher. When you arrive at the hospital, your body temperature will be measured. My fever has reached forty degrees. I almost thought I was going to lose my baby. Doctor diagnoses

pneumonia. Must be hospitalized immediately. I wiped out all the cash on me to pay the advance. Don't dare swipe his card. The day Niem An was discharged from the hospital. I wrote a sentence in my diary: "Our marriage, only I try." That rainy night. For the first time, I had the idea of leaving him. The taxi stopped in front of an old alley. I pay for the car. The driver helped me carry the baby stroller down. Seeing me alone pulling a suitcase, pushing a stroller with two babies, and also carrying a small boy. He couldn't help but ask: "Girl, is there no one else in the house?" I smiled. "Yes." "I still have these three kids." Niem An was very understanding. Actively put the diaper bag on your shoulder. The bag was bigger than the boy's body. Half of the street lights in the alley are broken. Light sometimes shines on the green stone surface. There was a faint smell of damp moss in the air. The old house is what my grandmother left me. Very small. There is only one bedroom and one living room. The moment of opening the door. The musty smell immediately hit me. Niem An sneezed. "Mom, this house smells so bad." "After a few days it won't smell anymore." I pulled the curtains open. Moonlight flooded into the room. Even dust particles can be seen floating in the air. The twins slept soundly in the stroller. I spread the bed. Then picked each child up in turn. The bed is not big. But still enough for three children to lie down. Niem An did not go to bed. The boy pulled a small chair to the sink. Trying to turn on the faucet and wanting to wash my hands. I stepped forward to help my child. At that moment, the boy turned his head. "Mom, will we live here in the future?" "Um, live here." "What about dad?" "Dad doesn't live here anymore?" I dried his little hands. "Dad doesn't live here." "Mom will live with you guys later, okay?" Niem An thought for a moment. Suddenly he smiled brightly. "Okay!" "I like living with mom!" "Dad never pays attention to me." The boy said happily. But after hearing it, I wanted to cry. Early the next morning. There was a knock on the door. I thought it was a delivery person. When I opened the door, I saw Ms. Tran, the owner of the wonton shop at the beginning of the alley, standing outside. In her hand were two bowls of hot wontons. "I saw you move here last night." "I think it must be inconvenient for you to take care of three children alone." She put the two bowls on the table. "Eat quickly." "Feed the children too." "It's shrimp filling, the shell is very thin." I said I hadn't paid yet. Ms. Tran immediately waved her hand. "It's not money." "It's all neighbors." Smell the fragrance. Niem An immediately ran over. Obediently called: "Thank you, aunt." Ms. Tran squatted down to look at the boy. "Oh my god, this child is really handsome."