Chapter 7 — Private House in a Joint Family

“That… is not the same.”
"What's the difference? We're relatives, should you help me too?"
Aunt did not answer.
"Second aunt, that house was bought by me. I have the right to decide who can live and who cannot. That is my right, not my obligation."
“But…”
"No buts. I'm tired, I'm going to rest."
I hung up and turned off the phone. Throw the phone on the bedside table, pull the blanket, close your eyes. The mind is very confused, but the body is tired. I don't know how much time passed, I fell asleep. In my dream, I returned to the cramped room of my childhood. Ly Loi and I sleep in the same bed, he lies inside, I lie outside. In the middle of the night he kicked the blanket and I covered him again. He turned around, his hand hit my face, it was very painful. I wanted to push it away but was afraid of waking it up so I had to endure it. Then he peed himself, wetting my pants. I woke up, it was still sleeping. I quietly got up, changed my pants, took off the bed sheet and took it into the bathroom to wash. The water is cold, winter water. My hands were cold and red, but I persisted in rubbing them clean. After washing, I dried it on the balcony. When I returned to the room, I saw it was awake. Seeing me, he cried and called for his mother. Mom ran in, saw the wet bed, and asked what happened. Ly Loi pointed at me:
“You pushed me, that's why I wet the bed.”
Mom didn't ask any more questions and slapped me once.
"Why are you pushing me? She's still small, you have to yield to her."
I covered my face and said nothing. Ly Loi hid behind his mother, sticking his tongue out at me. I looked at it and suddenly felt very tired. At that time I was only eight years old, and he was three years old. Woke up, it was morning. I lay in bed, looking out at the light outside the window. After a long time, he still didn't move.
05
On Friday, I took a day off. I don't want to go to the company, nor do I want to meet anyone. When I woke up in the morning, I went downstairs to buy breakfast, brought it home and slowly ate it. After eating and cleaning up, I sat on the sofa, staring at the TV. The TV wasn't turned on, the black screen reflected my face. I look very haggard. I turned on my phone and the text message filled the screen again. I didn't read it, I deleted it all. After that, I opened WeChat, switched my mother, father, younger brother and all relatives to “do not disturb” mode. After finishing everything, I lay down on the sofa, looking at the ceiling. My mind is blank, I don't want to think about anything. Just lie still, until noon. Feeling a little hungry, I got up and cooked a bowl of noodles, cracked an egg, and threw in some green vegetables. After eating, lie down again. Around three o'clock in the afternoon, the doorbell rang. I didn't move. The bell rang a few more times, continuously. Then there was a loud banging on the door.
"Ly Vu! Open the door! I know you're in there!"
It's my mother's voice. I still lay still, not moving.
"Ly Vu! Open the door for me! Otherwise, I'll keep banging!"
The pounding on the door became stronger and stronger, to the point that Ms. Vuong, the neighbor opposite, also opened the door.
"Damn, what's going on? It's been so noisy for several days."
"Ms. Vuong, I'm sorry, my child refused to open the door. I was a bit worried that's why."
"But this is someone else's house. If it doesn't want to be opened, you can't keep banging on it like that. The neighbors still have to rest."
“I know, but he's my child, I have something to tell him.”
"Even so, we can't bother others like that. Should I call for you?"
“Called, he didn't listen.”
"So he must be really busy going out. Or should you just go home first, wait until he comes home and then talk?"
My mother said nothing. A moment later, the sound banging on the door stopped. I heard her sit down next to the door, leaning against it.
“I'll just sit here and wait, it'll have to come back.”
"Mom, it's not good to do that. If there's something wrong, talk gently to your children, don't make it so tense."
“I also want to speak gently, but he won't listen, what other way do I have?”
Ms. Vuong sighed, then closed the door. The hallway was quiet again, only the occasional sound of my mother's sigh could be heard. I still lay there, looking at the ceiling. About an hour later, I stood up and walked out the door. Looking through the cat's eyes, my mother was leaning against the door, eyes closed, seemingly asleep. She was still holding the thermos, her other hand on her knee. Hair is a bit messy, clothes are wrinkled. I looked at her, feeling a little choked up. But I still don't open the door. Turning back to the living room, I went to the kitchen to pour a glass of water. After drinking, I went to the balcony and looked at the city outside. The afternoon sun is very beautiful, shining on tall buildings, reflecting dazzling light. I squinted my eyes, looking far away toward the river. The phone rang, it was my dad calling. I answered the phone.
“Your mother is at your door, right?”
"Yes."
"Open the door to let her in. She's fifty-something years old, what's the point of sitting at the door like that?"
“I didn't call her here.”
“What did you say?”
"I said, I didn't call her to come, she came on her own."
“That's your mother, what's wrong with visiting you?”
“She didn't come to visit me, she came to force me.”
"Force what? Just ask me to help my younger brother, what's so difficult about it?"
I took a deep breath.
“Dad, I told you, I don't want to help.”
"Why?"
“Because I don't owe it.”
"That tone again? What exactly do you want?"
“I don't want anything, I just want to live peacefully alone, without being bothered.”
“Your mother sits at your door, yet you call yourself not being bothered?”
“So I hope she comes back.”
"If you open the door for her, she will naturally come home."
“Not open.”
“Ly Vu!”
My father's voice was harsh.
“Do you still have a conscience?”
I laughed.
“Dad, don't you know whether I have a conscience or not?”
“What do you mean?”
"From childhood to adulthood, how much money have you given to your family? What about Ly Loi? What did your parents buy for you, what did you buy for him? What did you want, your parents said it was too expensive; what did he want, before you could say it all, we bought it. Now you talk about your conscience with me?"
“Because you are the eldest child, you must know things.”
“Does knowing what is right mean deserving to be treated unfairly?”
"Is there anyone who treats you unfairly? My parents raised me this big, what else could be unfair?"
"Yes, my parents raised me, but I also gave them money. We consider it even."
"Drawn?"
My father seemed so angry that he burst out laughing.
“You said it was even?”
"Yes, it's even. From today onwards, I don't owe you anything, and you won't bother me anymore."
“Ly Vu, you will regret it.”
"No."
I hung up. Throwing the phone on the sofa, I went back to the balcony. The wind blew in a bit cold. I stood for a long time, until the sun set and it gradually got dark. There was a sound outside the door, it was my brother coming.
"Mom, why are you sitting here? Let's go home."
"I'm not coming home, I have to wait for your brother to open the door."
“He won't open, mom, don't wait any longer, go home first.”
“Mom is not coming home.”
"Mom, what's the point of doing that? He's already decided not to care about us, so there's nothing for you to sit here."
"Then mom just sit, I don't believe he won't leave the house." “He's in the house, he just doesn't open the door.”
“Then I have to sit even more, I have to see how long he can hide.”
My sister sighed.
“Then sit with me.”
The two of them just sat outside the door, saying nothing. I stood behind the door, listening to the sounds outside. Inside I felt frustrated, but more than tired. I don't understand why they don't understand me.