Chapter 9 — Private House in a Joint Family

“I know. But I'm also very sad.”
“What?”
"I said, I'm also very sad. All these years, no one cared about my feelings. No one asked me if I was happy, if I wanted to."
“They only care about whether I'm good, whether I bring money back, or whether I help my younger brother.”
“I'm also human, I'm also tired, I also need someone to pity me.”
“But no, never has been.”
My voice was hoarse.
“So I decided, from now on, I will feel sorry for myself.”
My friend patted my shoulder and said nothing more. We drank a lot and talked about all sorts of things. Talk about work, about life, about school. Finally, he asked me:
“Ly Vu, do you regret it?”
“Regret what?”
“Regret buying this house, regret causing stress with my family like that.”
I thought for a moment, shook my head.
"No regrets. If I could choose again, I would still do the same thing."
"Why?"
"Because that's my limit. If I can't keep even that, then I won't have anything that belongs to me for the rest of my life."
He nodded, didn't say anything more. At eleven o'clock at night, we said goodbye. I took a taxi home. Up the hallway, everything was silent. I opened the door, the house was dark. Turn on the lights, the house is still the same as when I left. I sat down on the sofa, looking at this house. Seventy square meters, two rooms and a living room, the furniture was all bought by me and arranged little by little. Every corner has my mark, every item is chosen by me. This is my home, belongs only to me. I don't regret it. Really no regrets.
07
That weekend passed in an unusual, strangely quiet way. No calls, no messages, no one came knocking on the door. I even had a hallucination, as if everything that had happened before was just a nightmare, now awake. Monday morning, I went to work as usual. Down in the company lobby, I saw my father's car. He leaned against the car door to smoke the cigarette but when he saw me, he threw the filter on the ground and stomped it off.
“Get in the car, talk to dad.”
His expression was stern, leaving no room for negotiation. I sat in the passenger seat. He did not drive immediately, but opened the glove compartment, took out a pack of cigarettes, and lit another cigarette.
“Your mother is sick.”
I looked at him, said nothing.
"After arguing with my child the other day, I came home with a fever. Yesterday I went to the hospital for an intravenous drip. Today I'm still at home."
The car smelled very strongly of cigarettes.
"She has been strong all her life and has never suffered this kind of frustration."
I turned my head to look out the window, the stream of people going to work hurriedly passed by.
“What do you want to say?”
“Let's go home tonight.”
“I don't want to go back.”
“It's not a negotiation, it's an announcement.” He took a sharp breath of tobacco. "Eldest aunt, second aunt, and uncle will all come, everyone in the family will sit together and talk clearly."
I laugh.
"What are you talking about? Are you holding a party to criticize me?"
“Ly Vu!” His voice rose. “In your eyes, are we all such unreasonable people?”
I didn't answer, but my silence was the answer. He finished smoking the cigarette, then pressed the filter hard into the car ashtray.
"At seven o'clock in the evening, wait at home for you. If you don't come, I will go to your company to find you and come to your door to block you. Take care of yourself."
He started the engine.
“Get off the bus.”
I opened the door and got out, he stepped on the gas and drove away without even saying goodbye. I stood there, watching his car draw into traffic. Very calm inside. I knew this day would come sooner or later. They will not give up easily, they will use all means - friendship, morality, public opinion - to pull me back to the trajectory they want. That's good, solved once and for all. I turned around and walked into the office building. For a whole day at work, I am completely focused. Near the end of work in the afternoon, I asked the department head for a day off, saying there was an urgent matter at home tonight. He agreed very quickly. At half past six, I drove home. Not about my house, but about my parents' house. I have lived in the old house for more than twenty years. After parking, go upstairs and stand in front of the door. I heard people talking inside, it was very crowded. I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. The door opened very quickly, it was my younger brother, Ly Loi. He saw me, his eyes avoided a bit, said nothing, and turned back to the living room. I walked in. The living room was filled with people. My father sat in the chair, his face gloomy. My mother lay on the sofa, covered with a blanket, her face pale. The eldest aunt, second aunt, uncle, and a few cousins, some sat on the sofa, some pulled out chairs. Like a trial. And I became the only defendant.
“Tieu Vu is here, please sit down.” The eldest aunt stood up, trying to pull me.
I didn't move, standing at the door.
“If you have something to say, say it here.”
My father placed the tea cup in his hand firmly on the table.
“What kind of attitude do you have?”
“You always have this attitude.”
My uncle spoke up, he was the one with the voice in the family.
"Tieu Vu, I don't have any other intention to call you home today. I just think that as a family, if there's something that can't be said properly, do we have to make such a fuss?"
“You, do you see that I'm making a fuss?”
"Your mother is so angry that she's sick. Are you still saying that you didn't cause trouble?" Second aunt's voice is very sharp.
My mother coughed softly two times on the sofa, looking even weaker. I looked around the room. On everyone's face were four words clearly written: you are wrong.
“I know what you mean.” I spoke up, my voice not loud, but clear enough. "You guys want to tell me I shouldn't change the lock, I shouldn't let Ly Loi live, I shouldn't report my red book lost, I shouldn't make my mother angry."