Chapter 6 — Song of the Venom Pearl

Little Yi was scowling as he wrestled with a mountain of homework. Seeing me return, his face lit up instantly. "Sister! Did the two of you come to take me kite flying?"

Xie Zhou materialized behind him like a ghost, uttering lazily, "Kite flying? Get back inside and keep studying!"

That night, I suddenly remembered I had not yet practiced my calligraphy. Fearing that Xie Zhou might find out and scold me just as he had reprimanded Little Yi for neglecting his lessons, I quickly got out of bed and made my way to the study. While searching through the calligraphic copybooks and brushes, I accidentally knocked a painting to the floor. It was the piece of paper I had splattered with ink when I escaped Xie Zhou's grasp last time. Those stray ink blots had been skillfully transformed by his brush into winter blossoms—a piece full of poetic elegance.

"Whose painting do you prefer—mine, or Cao Jun's?"

As I was admiring it in a trance, a familiar voice sounded behind me. Cool and clear like rain falling upon the lake outside the window, stirring gentle ripples across the surface. The moment I turned around, he had already stepped close. Between us stood only a single flickering lamp.

Instinctively, I took a step back, nearly stumbling. He reached out to steady me, but I dodged his hand. Xie Zhou frowned slightly. "Do you... truly despise me that much?"

I could not understand why he always asked this, so I blurted out in return, "I have never despised you, Brother. I am simply afraid of being looked down upon by you, so I walk on eggshells everywhere I go. Why are you still unsatisfied?"

Xie Zhou froze. "When have I ever looked down on you?"

He took another step forward, seemingly wanting to say something more, when a voice suddenly cut him off.

"Yangyang, it is late. You should avoid suspicion and refrain from staying alone with your elder brother. Go back and rest."

My mother stood at the doorway, looking at me with a complicated gaze. Whatever words Xie Zhou was about to speak were ultimately swallowed back down his throat.

Lowering my eyes, I followed my mother into the corridor. Beneath the eaves, the lamplight cast down our shadows—mother and daughter. Yet a wide gap stretched between them. I suddenly recalled my childhood, when I used to cling to my mother, begging her to play with me. Wherever she went, she took me along, our two shadows—one large, one small—forever intertwined. But now, even our shadows were no longer close.

"Yangyang, your father places great hopes on your elder brother," Mother suddenly spoke up, her eyes fixed on the courtyard rather than on me.

"Mother... what are you trying to say?"

"Xie Zhou will marry a princess in the future. You... ought to keep your distance from him. Do not harbor foolish hopes for things that do not belong to you..."

I could not fathom why Mother would speak such words. I had never held improper thoughts toward Xie Zhou, yet an inexplicable surge of bitterness rose in my chest.

"Do you think I am just like you, Mother, craving wealth and status?"

"Dong Yangyang!" Mother raised her hand, but the slap froze in midair. After a long silence, tears welled in her eyes, her voice trembling. "Do you... always hate me?"

My eyes turned red, but I said nothing. She did not press me, merely closing her eyes and letting out a deep sigh. "You must hate me..."

"But what choice did I have? Your uncle was promoted and wanted to form ties with the Prime Minister's residence, which gave me the chance to marry in."

"I relied on a bit of beauty to win the Prime Minister's favor, but in the end, I was only a second wife, and my maiden family offered no real support. He married me simply to have someone raise his motherless children."

"I had to watch my step around my stepson, care for my own child, and manage this entire household. I missed you... but I simply had no strength left to look after you..."

"Only after all these years have I finally secured a footing in the Prime Minister's residence."

"So, you are afraid I will ruin everything you painstakingly built?" I choked back my tears, confronting her.

"Yangyang..." Mother softened her tone. "I know you have no such intentions toward Xie Zhou. But he is a young man in his prime. If you are close to him every day, he might not... be able to restrain his heart."

"Listen to Mother. Keep your distance from him from now on. I promise to find a good marriage match for you, alright?"

A sharp pang tightened in my chest, yet I unexpectedly burst into laughter. "Rest assured, Mother. He despises me more than enough as it is. How could he ever harbor feelings for me?"

"If you are still uneasy, then hurry and marry me off."

"That way... I will no longer be a burden to you."

"Yangyang..." Without waiting for her to say another word, I turned and ran back to my room, slamming the door shut behind me. Looking up, I found the entire room dark and cold. I sank onto the floor, pulling my knees to my chest, and wept uncontrollably. I missed my father. I wanted to go home.

Right then, someone softly pushed the door open and stepped inside, silently handing me a clean handkerchief. I lifted my tear-stained eyes and met Xie Zhou's gaze. The usual calm composure in his eyes had been replaced by a faint trace of panic. I did not take the handkerchief. Uncharacteristically cold, I lowered my head, not even bothering to look at him again. He said nothing either, silently retreating and standing outside the door for a long time. I watched his shadow against the doorframe. In my heart, an unfamiliar feeling welled up, one I could not name.

The next morning, as usual, Little Yi came running to see me. Seeing my swollen, red eyes, he felt both pained and guilty. "Sister, it's my fault! The other day, I let slip to Mother that Elder Brother took you and me out to play. Did Mother scold you?"

So Mother had misunderstood after hearing that Xie Zhou had taken me out...

I patted Little Yi's head and said gently, "It has nothing to do with you. I just stayed up late reading novels."

"Don't lie to me, Sister, I'm not stupid."

"It's all because I didn't study hard. Mother didn't dare blame Elder Brother, so she took it out on you instead. She must think you distracted me from my studies."

"Really, Mother didn't blame you."

"Is that true?" I nodded.

I was not lying. Mother truly hadn't scolded me about Little Yi's studies; she had merely told me to stay away from Xie Zhou.

Little Yi told me that Mother had granted him a rare day off today. He proudly pulled out a handful of saved silver coins and excitedly declared that he wanted to treat me to food all across the main market. His earnest attempt to comfort me made me burst into laughter. Once at the market streets, we bought a paper bag filled with small pastries, after which he grandly announced he would treat me to braised pig's trotters at a famous tavern. Looking at the bulging purse in his hand, I couldn't help but marvel inwardly: children of the Prime Minister's household certainly had generous allowances.

No sooner had we sat down than we ran into an acquaintance. It was Cao Jun. The moment his eyes caught mine, they brightened up instantly, and he happily pulled up a chair to sit beside me.

"What a coincidence! Let me treat you today. Little brother, order whatever you like!"

Little Yi pouted. "Who's your brother?"

"My sister is treating me! Why are you barging in?"

"Little Yi! Do not be rude!"

Cao Jun looked somewhat embarrassed, offering a strained laugh and assuring us it was fine.