Chapter 6 — Ten Years in the Palace

For the past ten years, I served as the empress, as an elder sister, and as a daughter of the Shen family. The only thing I never was, was myself. But now, riding astride a fine horse, I cast every fragment of my past to the wind behind me. Xie Lin called out from close behind: “Are you afraid?” I flicked the reins tighter against the leather.

“Not at all.”

Our hooves thundered across the imperial highway, churning up muddy water that splattered against the hem of my skirt. Yet, I had never felt such an overwhelming sense of liberation. Suddenly, a familiar voice pierced through the rushing wind.

“Shen Qing!”

“The entire realm belongs to Us!”

“And you belong to Us as well!”

I refused to look back. His voice rose in desperate volume.

“We grant you a few days to wander!”

“Once you have had your fill of play, We shall personally come to fetch you back to the palace!”

After we had galloped a considerable distance, Xie Lin let out a soft, amused chuckle. I tilted my head toward him: “What are you laughing at?”

“Laughing at his sheer naivety.”

I laughed along with him. Qin Yan Zhi probably truly believed that I was merely throwing a tantrum. That once my anger exhausted me and my wandering satisfied me, I would return to him just as I had always done. But what he failed to understand was that anyone who manages to walk this far has already burned every bridge behind them. Ahead lay a fork in the road, and Xie Lin gently reined in his mount.

“The eastern path leads to the main highway, while the western trail winds into the mountains.”

I did not hesitate for a fraction of a second.

“Take the mountain trail.”

Pursuers would undoubtedly scour the main highway. The mountain path was treacherous and difficult to navigate, but it offered absolute freedom. Xie Lin gave a low affirmation and guided my horse into the narrow, tree-lined path. We had not traveled far before the distant, rapid thud of approaching hooves echoed from behind us. I glanced back briefly. It was the imperial messenger who had just brought the edict, now being forced by urgent orders to retrace his steps. Xie Lin remarked: “Shen Yun Zhi is likely throwing another grand temper tantrum by now.” I arched a delicate eyebrow.

“She will have plenty of reasons to throw tantrums in the days to come.”

I withdrew my gaze. Shen Yun Zhi despised nothing more than not being the absolute center of everyone’s attention. Today, Qin Yan Zhi had confined her to a remote villa just to chase after me. Even after she began bleeding from her pregnancy complications, he had refused to turn back immediately. That single grievance alone was enough for her to harbor resentment for the rest of her days. Xie Lin asked: “Aren’t you worried?” I nudged him playfully with my elbow.

“What is there to worry about?”

“Enmeshed in her endless demands, he won’t have the spare time to hunt us down.”

The dense shadows of the trees on either side of the mountain path rushed backward as the night grew progressively deeper. I turned to him: “Where are we actually heading?” Xie Lin’s hand on the reins faltered for a second.

“Do you still remember Wild Goose Return Valley?”

I froze in surprise. Many years ago, Xie Lin and I had secretly slipped out of the capital to watch the sunset from the highest ridge outside the city walls. He had promised me then that once we were married, he would take me to Wild Goose Return Valley. There, spring brought blooming peach blossoms, summer nights were alive with fireflies, autumn blanketed the mountains in crimson leaves, and winter was never too biting. At the time, I laughed at him for telling tall tales. He had insisted: “I am not deceiving you. Once I save up enough silver, I will take you away.” Later, I entered the deep palace. That promise was buried deep alongside my youth. Xie Lin asked softly: “Do you still wish to go?” I gripped the reins tightly, my voice light and resolute.

“I am going.”

“And this time, you are forbidden to break your promise.”

The sound of hoofbeats faded into the distance. Qin Yan Zhi stood motionless, watching the two figures vanish into the mouth of the mountain trail. The imperial guards knelt on the damp earth, none daring to lift their heads. The eunuch continued to urge him cautiously.

“Your Majesty, regarding the noble consort...”

Qin Yan Zhi raised a hand, intending to order him to be silent. But the moment his hand lifted, a bitter, metallic taste surged up from the depths of his chest. He abruptly doubled over and vomited a great mouthful of dark blood. The guards' complexions drained of color in an instant.

“Your Majesty!”

Qin Yan Zhi shoved them aside, lifting his eyes to stare once more at the empty mountain road. Nothing remained to be seen. Shen Qing was truly gone. When she left, she had not even spared him a single backward glance. Qin Yan Zhi was suddenly struck by the memory of many years ago, when she had also galloped on horseback down the long avenues of the city. Back then, she wore bright red robes, a short sword hanging at her waist, turning to smile brilliantly at Xie Lin. He had stood upon a tavern balcony, catching just a single glimpse that haunted him for years to come. Later, she entered the palace. The red robes were replaced by the robes of an empress. The short sword was locked away in a wooden box. Her smiles vanished entirely. It was he who had personally locked her away until her spirit died. Qin Yan Zhi closed his eyes.

“Return.”

Back at the villa, utter chaos reigned. Shen Yun Zhi lay across the bed, her face as pale as parchment, yet she was still sweeping porcelain ornaments onto the floor in a rage. Imperial physicians knelt in a trembling cluster across the room. The faces of the palace maids bore stark red handprints. The moment she caught sight of Qin Yan Zhi, tears instantly streamed down her cheeks.

“Why have you only just returned?”

“Were you out chasing after that woman?”

“I have been reduced to this state, and you were still thinking of her!”

Qin Yan Zhi stood rigidly in the doorway, staring at the shattered fragments covering the floor. Once upon a time, his heart would have ached for her. He would have convinced himself that her unruly behavior merely stemmed from too much spirit and spontaneity, deserving of his endless indulgence. Yet in this exact moment, he felt nothing but exhaustion. A profound, bone-deep exhaustion. Shen Yun Zhi continued to weep bitterly.

“Say something to me!”

“Did Shen Qing merely put on another pathetic act to gain sympathy?”

“By what right did she leave? By what right did she make you abandon me to chase her?”

Qin Yan Zhi slowly turned his gaze upon her.

“Enough.”

Shen Yun Zhi was struck dumb with astonishment. Qin Yan Zhi did not step any closer.

“Keep the child safe.”

With those final words, he turned on his heel and strode away. Shen Yun Zhi shrieked in despair from behind him.

“Qin Yan Zhi!”

He did not look back. His carriage rumbled all the way back to the imperial palace. As the massive palace gates groaned open, the first light of dawn was beginning to paint the sky. Qin Yan Zhi stepped into the Hall of the Phoenix. The interior of the grand hall was eerily quiet. Resting neatly upon the desk were the official ledgers that Shen Qing had not yet finished reviewing. Her tea cup sat precisely on the right side of the table. She was always like this, keeping every possession meticulously ordered, down to the records of palace rewards and punishments neatly categorized.