Chapter 8 — The General's Path

Not long after I married into the Prince’s estate, the Princess of Southern Pacification—the only person who had ever shown me true kindness—passed away. Perhaps it was the weight of her worries that turned into a terminal illness. By the spring of my third year there, the royal physician diagnosed me with an incurable condition. My days were numbered. One afternoon, while riding in my carriage through the East Market, I caught sight of Shen Dan Xue setting up a modest stall by the side of the road. She looked gaunt, dressed in coarse, humble fabrics, and she spoke with a timid, trembling voice:

"Please, buy a box of peach blossom pastries, so that the children and I might have enough for a meal tonight."

Only then did I notice a young boy and girl behind her, watching me with wide, curious eyes. I did not think much of it at the time, assuming them to be orphans she had kindly taken in. I brought the box of pastries back to the estate. I broke off a piece to taste it; the pastry was damp and soggy, cloying with a sweetness that was nearly impossible to swallow. It seemed that Shen Dan Xue, who the Marchioness always claimed was skilled at everything, was certainly not gifted in the kitchen. I was about to discard them when my wrist was seized by Li Tai, who had just entered the chamber. One glance at the box, and his entire demeanor shifted. With a frantic, sharp tone, he interrogated me:

"Where is she? How is she and the children living? Did you go there specifically to humiliate her? Now that she has been reduced to hawking goods on the street just to survive, are you finally satisfied?"

The barrage of accusations left my head spinning. Li Tai’s eyes were bloodshot, and he shoved me aside with such force that I stumbled. He clutched the box of pastries to his chest and rushed out of the estate in a panic. That very night, Shen Dan Xue was brought into the Prince’s estate by Li Tai himself.

Shen Dan Xue led the two children toward my bedside, where I lay wasting away from my sickness. The children were dressed in finery, their fair, delicate faces clearly cast from the same mold as Li Tai. Only then did the truth spill from Shen Dan Xue’s own lips. Years ago, the Marquis’s estate had claimed to disown her, but they had secretly supplied her with a vast fortune in banknotes and land deeds. They had even promised her that the moment she suffered, they would welcome her back. But how could a woman as cherished as Shen Dan Xue ever suffer? The villa beside the nunnery had been equipped with pavilions, water gardens, warm chambers, and embroidered beds; she lacked for nothing. She kept rare red lotuses in heated ponds during the dead of winter and ate only the most tender shoots of spring vegetables. She adopted the title of Hermit of the Withered Jade, cut her hair, and spent her days in seclusion writing books, claiming to the world: "If I cannot be with the one I love for a lifetime, I would rather never marry at all."

The gossips of the capital praised her "shattered jade" spirit, suggesting that during my coming-of-age ceremony, I had intentionally framed her just to steal her husband. Her supposed virtue and pride made the guilt and heartache of the Marquis’s estate and Li Tai reach a breaking point. They rebuked me relentlessly:

"If you hadn't shamelessly come to claim your identity that year, she would never have lived in such fear and made that one mistake. She has lived as a half-nun for years, yet you still refuse to let the past go? Your very existence has ruined the reputation and life of a noble lady. You were nothing but a peasant girl, and yet you lived in stolen luxury as a crown consort for three years. It is time you paid back, in full, every debt you owe her."

Finally, Shen Dan Xue held her daughter’s hand and crouched before me. She said with a honeyed, gentle voice: "Come now, address your aunt."

I looked at her, basking in her triumph, and asked softly, "Did you truly bake those peach blossom pastries?"

Shen Dan Xue paused. The smile on her face only deepened. "Were they not delicious? In truth, that box was a gift the Young Master specially brought back for me from the river valley. I had already finished eating, and I feared they would go stale. I thought, perhaps you had never tasted such things in your life, so I wanted to give you a chance to sample them. I never expected the Young Master to mistake my situation as one of poverty and rush to bring me into the estate."

Shen Dan Xue could not cook to save her life. Yet, it seemed the finest things in the world were destined to belong to her. Even the suffering I thought she endured was merely a play performed for my benefit. From beginning to end, I was the only one who had truly suffered. In this lifetime, until my very last breath, I had never tasted a single moment of sweetness. The sun outside the window shone brightly, but as I closed my eyes, my heart was full of bitter, unyielding resentment.

Forgiving their cruelty would be a betrayal of my past self. The old Marquis, perhaps believing he understood the hidden meaning in my words, fell silent for a long moment before speaking in a low, gravelly voice: "As long as you are willing to return with us to the Marquis’s estate, I will have Shen Dan Xue removed."

Warned by the agony of my previous life, I laid the truth bare: "I fear that once she is removed, she will simply be tucked away in another velvet-lined nest, coddled in the shadows just as before."

"My Lord, what are you saying?" The Marchioness looked at him in shock. "That is the daughter you have doted on for fifteen years!"