Chapter 16 — The Language of Hands

Part IV — Silence

The last week before No Distance Day passed like a whirlwind. The list of tasks in Thao Nguyen's notebook is a full page long, each item entails a series of unforeseen events - a sponsor suddenly reports that they cannot deliver on time, a volunteer withdraws because of a clash in the exam schedule, a standee printed in the wrong color has to be urgently reordered within two days.

She almost lives at school more than at home. After school, she immediately rushes into meetings, rehearsals, and logistics checks. At night, she stays up late answering messages on fundraising social networking sites, handling questions from guests about to attend. There were nights when she only slept four or five hours and woke up in the morning with dark circles, but she still tried to appear alert so that no one in the group would have to worry more.

"Do you need to take a break?" Gia Bach asked when he saw her yawning continuously during the Tuesday afternoon meeting, her voice was really worried. "I see you're taking on too much work."

"I'm fine," Thao Nguyen replied, waving her hand, trying to smile reassuringly even though she could clearly feel the pent-up exhaustion. "There's only a few more days left. If we get through this, we'll be fine."

But those "few more days" dragged on longer than she thought, and in that hustle and bustle, the promise to help Binh An prepare documents for the painting contest was gradually pushed to the bottom of the priority list, even though she still told herself she would make time "as soon as I finish this".

On Wednesday, when Binh An texted her asking if she could help her see the description of the painting idea he had just written, Thao Nguyen only had time to read it during break time, quickly type out a few short lines of comments, then turn off the phone immediately because she had to run to meet the sponsor. "I'll take a closer look later, I'm in a hurry right now," she texted, not paying attention to the long silence before Binh An just texted back a curt "Yes".

On Thursday, Binh An asked if she could take him to a place to scan high-quality paintings to submit his application, because the deadline was only two days away. Thao Nguyen planned to take her child there in the afternoon, but at that moment Gia Bach called to say that the rented stage had technical problems and needed her to be there urgently to handle it with the logistics team.

"I'm sorry, I have to go deal with an urgent matter at the club," she texted Binh An, her fingers typing quickly on the screen. "Let me ask mom to take you there? I'll make it up to you later."

Binh An's reply message arrived more than fifteen minutes late, simply: "Okay, it's okay." But when she got home that night, Thao Nguyen noticed that she was a bit quieter than usual, not actively telling stories like usual, only responding to her questions with a few short signs before retreating to her own room.

In the midst of those busy days, Hai Yen stopped by Thao Nguyen's house on a rare evening when she didn't have to stay at school, bringing a bag of snacks to "support" her best friend. Seeing Thao Nguyen sitting in front of her laptop with dozens of tabs open at the same time, with dark circles under her eyes, Hai Yen couldn't help but shake her head.

"If you look like this, you'll probably break before the festival," Yen said, pulling out a chair to sit next to her friend. "Do you need any help? I'm free this weekend."

"Thank you, but only I can understand most of the things," Thao Nguyen replied, her eyes still glued to the screen. "As long as we make it through tomorrow, everything will be fine."

"You've been saying that for a week now," Hai Yen commented, sounding genuinely worried. "I don't mean to blame you, just... remember to spend time with Binh An too. I see you mention the club and Gia Bach all the time, but you rarely mention your younger brother than before."

That comment made Thao Nguyen pause a bit, but she quickly dismissed it, thinking that her friend was just worrying too much. "I know what I'm doing," she replied, her voice a bit rougher than intended, causing Hai Yen to stay silent and not say more, even though her eyes were still a little confused.

"Have you noticed that Binh An is a little different these days?" her mother asked quietly as they cleaned the kitchen together. "I see he talks less."

"I know, I'm paying attention too," Thao Nguyen replied, feeling a little worried, but right after that her phone vibrated again with a series of messages from the organizing committee, drawing her back into the storm of work, temporarily putting aside worries about her sister with the thought "after the event is over, I will spend all my time making it up to you".

Friday night, only one day before the official event, Thao Nguyen and Gia Bach along with a few core members stayed at school until nine o'clock at night to rehearse the entire program one last time. The atmosphere was tense, everyone was tired but tried to put all their strength into the final preparations. The portable speaker rented from a store near the school kept making noise, causing Duc Anh to unplug and reattach the connection cord dozens of times, while Minh Thu frantically re-glued the standees that had come off corners because of the strong wind blowing outside the gym's backyard.

"As for the simultaneous translation part for the pantomime performance, I still haven't decided who will take charge," Gia Bach said, rubbing his forehead tiredly, looking over the assignment list for the tenth time that evening. "Mr. Phuc has agreed to be the sign host for the main part, but for the opening verbal introduction, one more person is still needed to coordinate well with him."

"Let me do that part," Thao Nguyen suggested immediately, wanting to contribute something more to feel more secure. "I also know Mr. Phuc, I'm sure the cooperation will be fine."

"Are you sure? You already have a lot of work," Gia Bach asked again, his eyes somewhat worried.

"It's okay, I can do it," she affirmed, although inside she was also a little worried about whether she was capable of taking on such an important role, among dozens of other tasks waiting for her tomorrow.

"Are you okay?" Gia Bach asked when he saw Thao Nguyen sitting absent-mindedly for a while in the middle of the rehearsal, her eyes staring blankly into space.

"I'm just a little worried," she admitted, rubbing her temples. "Worry that things won't go well tomorrow, worry that I made a promise to Binh An but haven't fulfilled it, worry about everything."

"After the event tomorrow, I'll have more time to make up for it," Gia Bach comforted, placing his hand gently on her shoulder. "You've tried so hard, don't blame yourself too much."

Thao Nguyen nodded, trying to believe in that comforting word, even though there was still a vague, nameless insecurity in her heart. She texted Binh An before leaving school: "Tomorrow is the festival, come early to support me and everyone. After tomorrow, I will spend a whole weekend just to be with you, I promise."

The reply message was just a nodding emoticon, without any words, making Thao Nguyen pause for a moment, but then she reassured herself that maybe she was just busy, or simply tired from having to take care of the exam documents alone these past few days.

That night, when she got home, she saw that Binh An's room had turned off the lights even though it was still quite early. She intended to knock on the door to wish her good night as usual, but then stopped, afraid of disturbing her sleep, telling herself she would take the time to make up for it thoroughly tomorrow.

Lying in bed, too exhausted to think clearly, Thao Nguyen quickly fell asleep, unaware that a small gap was silently forming again between the two sisters, a gap that she had vowed to never let appear again. In her mind, her last thoughts before falling asleep revolved around the work list for tomorrow - booth times, performance order, expected number of guests - but there was no space left to realize that busyness was gradually making her repeat part of her old mistakes, under a new cover called responsibility and ideals.

The next morning, when the alarm rang at five o'clock in the morning, Thao Nguyen jumped up immediately, her mind immediately reeling with the to-do list before the event started at two o'clock in the afternoon. She hurriedly prepared, almost ran out of the house and forgot to say goodbye to Binh An who was sitting alone in the kitchen having breakfast. She only had time to look back and quickly say "I'll go first, see you at school later" without even making a sign. A small mistake but enough to make Binh An slightly lower his eyes and look at the bowl of porridge in front of him, not responding.

On the bus to school, Thao Nguyen rehearsed in her head the program's introduction to Mr. Phuc, trying to remember the order of the performances and the list of important guests who needed to be mentioned. She no longer had enough mind to think about Binh An's quiet expression just now, she only thought about the series of tasks that lay ahead, telling herself that as long as she could get through today, everything between the two sisters would return to normal as before. Little did she know, that "later" thought - something she had vowed never to repeat - was silently accumulating into a new silence, larger than she thought.