Chapter 1 — The Lost Brother

After graduating from university and beginning my job hunt, both my boyfriend and my best friend prepared to leave for Beijing. By the time I found out about it, they had already signed their official employment offer letters from major corporations. I eagerly opened a job search application on my phone.

"I want to go to Beijing, too!"

The two of them, who had been chatting animatedly just a moment before, instantly fell silent. After a long pause, I slowly lifted my head. An Hua wore an expression of profound awkwardness.

"Wu Wu, the cost of living in Beijing is extremely high. With your academic qualifications... it will be very difficult for you to find a decent job."

My boyfriend, Pei Yaixing, didn't even bother to lift his head. After meticulously picking every single bone out of a piece of fish and placing it in An Hua's bowl, he spoke in a leisurely tone.

"Hua is right. You should just go back to your hometown to find a job, secure a fixed salary, and settle down."

Without waiting for my reply, they immediately resumed their discussion regarding aviation drone research and development—a topic completely beyond my comprehension. They spoke glowingly of the glamorous, fast-paced life awaiting them in Beijing. Looking at the pile of fish bones discarded on the table, a cold realization finally dawned on me. My existence had somehow become like a fish bone stuck firmly in their throats.

Pei Yaixing failed to notice my plummeting mood and continued planning the future hand in hand with An Hua.

"Once we reach Beijing, we can rent a two-bedroom apartment."

"And then we can adopt a little calico cat, just the kind you like."

"Two years from now, when I get my promotion, we'll go travel to the far north to see the aurora borealis you've always talked about."

The hand gripping my chopsticks tightened until my knuckles turned stark white. Finally, unable to hold it in any longer, I spoke up, my voice trembling slightly.

"What about me? Pei Yaixing, is there no place for me in your future plans?"

He paused, then smiled and reached out to pat my head.

"The pace of life in Beijing is just too fast. You will be much better off staying behind in our hometown."

He simply could not bear to let An Hua suffer the slightest hardship, yet he was entirely willing to let me spend my entire life locked away in a small, mediocre town, living a life of insignificance. The cool air blowing down from the restaurant's overhead vent made my hands and feet turn numb with cold. Across from me, An Hua was wearing an oversized men's shirt, letting Pei Yaixing patiently roll up her sleeves for her. A waiter walked over carrying two bowls of noodles, abruptly cutting off their conversation.

"Good evening, today any couple dining at our restaurant will receive two complimentary bowls of specialty noodles."

The two bowls of noodles were placed directly in front of An Hua and Pei Yaixing. An Hua looked at me in a panic, her face flushing crimson as she hurriedly pushed one bowl over to my side of the table.

"You've made a mistake, these two are the couple."

The waiter immediately apologized to me. In truth, the mistake was entirely understandable. Anyone looking at them would instinctively feel that they were the textbook definition of a perfect match. Every time I went out in public with the two of them, people would invariably whisper behind our backs:

"Oh my god, what an impossibly attractive pair."

And I, naturally plain and ordinary, only appeared all the more washed-out and drab standing next to them. No one had ever taken our relationship seriously. Back when I was so insecure that I seriously considered getting plastic surgery, it was Pei Yaixing who repeatedly kissed the nose and eyes I loathed, whispering that every single thing about me was wonderful. It was also An Hua who had physically stood in front of me, fiercely chewing out anyone who dared to mock me until they didn't dare show their faces. I had always hidden safely beneath the shelter of their wings, never once imagining that a day would come when those wings would be folded away from me. Pei Yaixing naturally slid a bowl of noodles toward me.

"I've already picked out all the cilantro for you. Eat up."

I knew very well that I shouldn't continue clinging to his fading warmth. Yet habits carved deep into one's soul cannot be erased overnight. I whispered a quiet thank you. But the moment I raised my head, I saw him and An Hua sharing a single bowl of noodles, eating side by side with effortless intimacy. My spine instantly stiffened. The shred of dignity I had desperately tried to maintain was finally torn to pieces. Hot tears fell silently into my bowl of broth. Through the blurring veil of my tears, Pei Yaixing looked up at me, his eyes devoid of warmth, holding only quiet exasperation.

"You're too picky and refuse to share utensils with others. I couldn't possibly make Hua eat your leftovers, could I?"

An Hua panicked, hastily pulling out a tissue to wipe my tears.

"Wu Wu, please don't cry. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have eaten from his bowl."

The more she tried to comfort me, the more wretched and aggrieved I felt. The surrounding patrons began casting curious, judgmental glances our way. Pei Yaixing pulled An Hua behind his back, forming a protective barrier around her. When he looked at me, his gaze carried a faint undertone of reprimand.

"Lin Wu, pull yourself together and wipe away those tears."

"When you finally step out into the real world, no one is ever going to be like us, endlessly tolerating your terrible temper."

So in his eyes, all my suffering and grievances were nothing more than childish, unwarranted tantrums. I could no longer bear to stay a second longer; I hastily wiped my face and fled the restaurant. The scenery outside the car window blurred into streaks of color as the taxi sped forward. My phone chimed with a notification. What awaited me was not an apology from Pei Yaixing, but a message on the job application app from a Beijing-based company: We are very interested in your resume. Would you be available for an interview? A stray tear fell onto the screen. I slowly typed out my reply: Thank you, but I no longer have any intention of going to Beijing. Even by taxi, the journey from Pei Yaixing's university to mine took an hour and a half. Over the past four years, I had made that trip no less than a hundred times. Yet Pei Yaixing had never once visited my campus. He always had a mountain of excuses—his schedule was too packed, he was too busy with laboratory experiments to spare a single hour, and various other reasons. But he could easily find the time to film promotional videos for campus anniversaries with An Hua, and stay up all night fighting for concert tickets for her. Back then, unable to suppress my hurt, I had flatly told him how uncomfortable it made me feel. Pei Yaixing had merely smiled, pinching my cheek affectionately.

"An Hua is your best friend. Taking care of her is just me giving you face."

"Surely you aren't petty enough to be jealous of your own best friend, are you?"

Just because of that one accusation of pettiness, I had forced myself to act magnanimous and broad-minded for four full years. But now, I could no longer keep up the facade. Sharp, cramping pains tore through my lower abdomen. Pale-faced, I pushed open the door to my dormitory. My roommate pointed to a steaming cup of brown sugar ginger tea on the desk and chuckled.

"Your boyfriend ordered this for you online, he's so thoughtful."

Before the words had even faded from her lips, my phone began to ring. It was Pei Yaixing.

"Today is the day your cramps start, right? Be a good girl and drink all that brown sugar water."

Feeling the residual warmth radiating through the ceramic cup, the resolve I had fought so hard to build began to waver. Pei Yaixing truly occupied far too much space in my life. Perhaps I should give him one final chance to explain himself. But before I could even open my mouth, he abruptly added:

"Once you finish drinking it, go over and apologize to An Hua."

"She feels so guilty she's been crying, and I had to spend forever comforting her."

His voice felt like a dull, rusted blade, cleanly severing the very last shreds of my illusions. The cup of brown sugar water slipped from my trembling fingers. The scalding liquid splashed all over my legs. My roommate shrieked in shock. The searing pain mixed with the chaotic shouting made me so bone-deep exhausted that I just wanted to close my eyes forever. My phone clattered onto the floor.

"Hello? Wu Wu? Lin Wu?"

From the other end of the line came Pei Yaixing's frantic, panicked shouting. When I was a child, I was rather slow. Teachers who looked at my academic records would shake their heads, advising me to learn a practical trade early on. My parents were equally furious at my lack of drive. But under Pei Yaixing's patient tutoring, I managed to score just enough points to be admitted into the city's finest high school. Pei Yaixing had ruffled my hair proudly, announcing to everyone within earshot:

"Look everyone, I told you Wu Wu wasn't stupid at all!"

Upon entering high school, Pei Yaixing encountered a formidable rival in An Hua. Not only did they fiercely compete for the top rank in every examination, but they also frequently argued over who got to monopolize my company. Yet gradually, Pei Yaixing and An Hua learned how to coexist harmoniously. The frequency with which An Hua's name appeared in his daily conversations steadily increased. Until one day, while he was helping me review a difficult math problem, looking at a test paper covered in harsh red correction marks, Pei Yaixing let out an exasperated sigh.

"Wu Wu, why can't you be more like An Hua? She understands things the very first time I explain them. You really are just too slow."

Indeed, I was truly foolish. Even the fact that Pei Yaixing's heart had long since drifted away was something I had been too blind to notice. I slowly opened my eyes. A sterile, blinding white filled my vision. An Hua was sitting beside the hospital bed, her eyes red and swollen. She grasped my arm, tears instantly spilling over as she sobbed.

"Wu Wu, can we promise not to fight anymore from now on?"

"I never want to see you end up in the hospital like this again."

Pei Yaixing walked in from the hallway. Seeing that I had regained consciousness, the furrow between his brows finally relaxed slightly.

"Lin Wu, is this your idea of venting your anger—by hurting yourself?"

"You are an adult now. Before you do something so reckless, please use your brain for once."

I didn't know when it had started, but every word he directed at me was now a patronizing lecture. Realizing he had spoken too harshly, he gave a soft, dry cough. Noticing my hair was tangled across my forehead, his hand instinctively moved forward to smooth it back. I instinctively turned my head away to avoid his touch. His long, elegant fingers froze awkwardly in mid-air. Then, looking utterly helpless, he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Sick and still throwing tantrums. Can't you just be a little more like Hua..."

Unwilling to be used as a foil for comparison one second longer, I cut him off coldly.

"Pei Yaixing, let's break up."

The atmosphere in the room instantly froze solid. An Hua wiped away her tears, slowly stepping closer to the side of my bed.

"Wu Wu, don't say angry things like that. If you're still upset about what happened yesterday, I'll make Yaixing apologize to you properly."

Pei Yaixing had a notoriously fiery temper, yet at a single tug from her, he obediently walked over.

"Wu Wu is feeling unwell right now, can't you just accommodate her a little?"

The shock in Pei Yaixing's eyes quickly morphed into deep impatience.

"Why do I always have to accommodate her?"

"You've both spoiled her until she has completely lost all sense of basic reason."

"Since she's so eager to break up, I'll grant her wish. Just don't come crying back to me in two days begging to reconcile."

Pei Yaixing still didn't understand. Once I made up my mind to let go, I would never look back with even a shred of lingering attachment. An Hua was pulled away by Pei Yaixing's side. The hospital room quickly fell quiet and empty. Yet my phone continued to buzz incessantly with lively messages. Our high school homeroom teacher was posting congratulatory messages in the class group chat celebrating Pei Yaixing and An Hua's acceptance into the nation's premier research firm. Former classmates who had always watched us from the sidelines chimed in one after another. [Oh my god, Brother Pei and Sister Hua are still as amazing as ever!] [A handsome man and a brilliant woman, the ultimate powerhouse couple. Just date already for my sake!] [Hey, don't forget Brother Pei is the ultimate, unwavering Wu-ist!] Looking at those words, I felt a momentary sense of detachment. I recalled my high school years, when I would often wake up too late to eat breakfast. To ensure I didn't go to school on an empty stomach, Pei Yaixing would stuff steamed buns and warm soy milk inside his school uniform jacket, keeping them warm against his chest throughout the entire morning self-study period. Every time monthly exam results were released, he cared far more about my grades than my own parents did. He would stay up late rewriting study plans tailored specifically for my weaknesses. Everyone used to say he would spoil me rotten, and wondered what I would ever do if I were left all alone in the world. Pei Yaixing had simply laughed it off, spinning a pen between his fingers.

"I am a devoted believer in Wu-ism. The two of us will never, ever be separated."

The IV drip hanging above my head had emptied completely. I calmly pressed the call button for the nurse. Then, unlocking my phone screen, I opened the application and resumed filtering through job listings.