Chapter 2 — The Lost Brother

They were heading north, so I would journey south. True to their deepest desires, I would no longer remain the jagged fishbone caught in their throats, offending their sight. Within our shared study group, a fellow classmate requested guidance materials for navigating the treacherous job market. Grace thoughtfully uploaded a comprehensive compilation. The distinct phrasing and familiar arrangement were unmistakable; a single glance told me this document had been painstakingly crafted by Ryan. Inside, it was densely packed with vital precautions and meticulous warnings, far more detailed and rigorous than the customized study plans he used to design for me years ago. The file creation date displayed it had been compiled an entire year prior. So, for that long, they had been quietly plotting their departure from my life.

My fingers instinctively swept across our chat history, only to discover that the message urging Ryan and Grace to finally be together had been rescinded by the group administrator. And Ryan, by sheer coincidence, happened to be one of those administrators. I stared at the screen with absolute indifference before turning the display off. Opening my laptop, I immediately set to work refining my resume. After three days of casting my applications far and wide, I secured a promising position offering a handsome salary and a reliable weekend reprieve. The company required me to report for duty precisely one week later. I swiftly finalized the formalities for checking out of the university dormitory and booked my flight.

As I struggled alone to manage the heavy luggage cart through the check-in process, my arms grew thoroughly sore and a thin sheen of sweat slicked my forehead. When I finally lifted my chin to wipe the moisture away, I caught sight of Grace wearing a delicate dress and a dainty handbag, skipping playfully down the terminal. Meanwhile, Ryan trailed leisurely behind her, effortlessly pushing two heavy suitcases. Our gazes collided. Ryan pressed his thin lips into a hard, white line. The emotions swirling in his eyes were far too complex for me to untangle. Grace rushed forward in pure delight, throwing her arms around me in an embrace.

"Mist, I just knew you would come all this way to see us off!"

Ryan reached out, gently pulling Grace away from me, before leaning down to brush a stray speck of dust from the hem of her skirt with utmost tenderness.

"Mist has been sweating, don't let her soil your favorite dress."

His tone of utter disdain made me feel as though I were filthy and repulsive. Heat rushed to my cheeks, and my hands clenched into tight fists at my sides. Grace offered him a gentle, reproving glare before pulling me back toward her.

"Mist, pay him no mind. Even though the two of you have broken up, I am still your dearest friend." Her expression clouded slightly. "You haven't replied to any of my messages these past few days."

With that, Grace playfully pinched Ryan's lean waist.

"It is all your fault for dragging me into this and causing Mist to distance herself from me as well."

The corners of Ryan's mouth curved upward. He lowered his voice, coaxing her with infinite patience.

"It is entirely my fault. My little princess, do not be angry anymore."

As he spoke, the corner of his eye flicked toward me, clearly anticipating a spectacle of jealousy or heartbreak. Instead, I met his gaze with unnerving tranquility.

"I did not come to see you off. I am catching a flight of my own."

Grace’s eyes widened in surprise. Ryan’s brow furrowed sharply, instantly stripping the gentleness from his features.

"Mist, do you really desire to follow us to Beijing to this extent?"

I opened my mouth to clarify that my destination was not Beijing at all, but a city lying more than two thousand kilometers away. Yet he afforded me no opportunity to speak, cutting me off with a sigh laden with profound exhaustion.

"Very well, if you insist on tailing us, then do as you please."

"After all, it has been this way for all these years; I am already accustomed to it."

"There will be no spare bed for you in Beijing. You can simply lay out a quilt and sleep on the living room floor."

Hearing him dispose of me as though I were some burdensome piece of excess luggage, I bit down hard on my lower lip. Despite my best efforts, the corners of my eyes stung and flushed red. Grace puffed out her cheeks in mild protest.

"Nhai Thanh, your words are entirely too cruel!"

Noticing the red rims of my eyes, Ryan’s throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, yet stubborn pride prevented him from offering an apology.

"She is no longer my girlfriend. Not demanding rent from her is already a kindness."

At that precise moment, the airport announcement chimed overhead, urgently summoning passengers for the flight to Beijing to board immediately. Ryan grabbed Grace’s hand and strode forward, tossing one final sentence over his shoulder.

"Follow along if you wish."

I had spent an entire decade running breathlessly behind Ryan. But this time, I finally realized I no longer needed to chase after anyone. I turned on my heel and walked steadily toward my own boarding gate. Once settled into my seat aboard the aircraft, as the flight attendants announced our imminent departure and instructed passengers to power down their phones, my device began to vibrate furiously. Missed calls and frantic text messages from Ryan flooded the screen. Lam Vu, the plane is about to take off, why haven't you boarded yet? The corners of my lips curved into a faint, serene smile. Ignoring the cascade of notifications, my thumb swiped across the glass, and I powered the phone off entirely.

The aircraft pierced through the dense layers of clouds. The silver wings of the plane were painted with a brilliant, golden hue by the sun. Had this been the past, I would have eagerly captured the moment on camera and shared it with Ryan. I used to love telling him about the tiny wildflowers blooming fiercely beneath the earth, the savory bowls of noodles in the campus cafeteria, and the stray cats basking lazily in the sunlight. Those were the fragments of daily life that brought me the greatest joy, and I had yearned to share every single one of them with him.

Yet back then, Ryan would only stare at me in silence, fixing me with a look of boundless weariness before uttering words that pierced my heart.

"Mist, I am busy with experiments. I have no time to listen to your trivial nonsense."

I would freeze in place, and then quietly nod in defeat.