Chapter 1 — The Shadow Doesn't Exist

I have a younger sister. She was born brilliant, her favorite thing to do was ride horses and drink flowers. People in the capital all said that the Co family was blessed, one family gave birth to two beauties, each with a different look. But only the Co family knows. My younger sister died prematurely at the age of three. The so-called second lady is nothing more than a lie that father made up to comfort a mother who has gone crazy. In my previous life, the little Marquis and I met each other at a competition. He said that my handwriting hides high mountains, bright moon, green pine trees and white snow, is difficult to find in the world, and even personally comes to my door to pray for my soul. But when it came time to discuss the marriage, the mother smiled and said: "My second daughter is really interesting, not weak, and respectful like the eldest daughter." Unexpectedly, the little Marquis really hesitated. His father did not have the heart to expose the lie, so he suggested drawing lots. He recognized me and smiled with relief: "It seems like Ninh Nhi and I are destined to be together." Ten years after we got married, he always treated me gently. But he often criticized me for being too quiet, too weak, too formal. "If it were the second lady, she would definitely not be as tasteless as you." I never argued. Right before his death, he held my hand and softly said: "If the person who drew the prize in the past was your sister, it would have been great." I suddenly burst out laughing. It turns out that my whole life is lost to someone who never existed. When I opened my eyes again, I was back to the day Little Marquis drew lots. This time, I held on to the tube and softly said: "No need to withdraw anymore, father." "My daughter already has someone in her heart." The whole hall immediately fell silent. Ta Quan's smile froze on his face, unable to retract. His hand holding the cup of tea stopped in mid-air, the gentleness in his eyes cooled little by little. Mother was briefly stunned, then smiled and asked who the person in my arms was. Father and elder brother looked over at the same time, both with caution in their eyes. They were afraid that I would say some nonsense in front of everyone, making it awkward for Ta Quan, who came to marry me. It also made the Co family lose face. The elder brother even stood up slightly, as if he wanted to pull me back before I could open my mouth. I don't look at him. I raised my eyes, my gaze passed everyone, and fell down the hallway. War King Tieu Triet had just finished discussing politics with his father, who was now standing next to the hallway pillar. Today, he was wearing black civilian clothes, with no sword on his waist. But the cold aura forged from the battlefield around him still forced the small businessmen in the hallway not to dare raise their heads. This person had a glorious victory, but he killed his two fiancees. The ladies in the capital all avoided him before they could. Even the storyteller during the long tea session had to lower his voice when mentioning his name. I took a deep breath, raised my hand and pointed at him. "My daughter has admired the War King for a long time." The tea cup in Ta Quan's hand paused, his expression unpredictable. Mother's smile was a bit stiff, she said softly: "Ninh Nhi, stop joking. His Royal Highness Chien Vuong is here to discuss politics." But I clearly saw the confusion passing through her eyes. I stood up and bowed to Tieu Triet. "If your highness has not yet married, can you consider the eldest daughter of the Co family?" Tieu Triet looked at me for a long time. The wind blew through the hallway, he still didn't move, just looked at me quietly. Then, he said in a deep voice: "This king hates his wife." "I'm not afraid." I replied. The smile on the mother's face finally completely disappeared. In the hall, no one spoke. Ta Quan suddenly stood up. He put down the teacup very gently, but when the porcelain touched the table there was still a crisp sound. His eyes were filled with confusion. "Ninh Nhi." He opened his mouth,

His voice was still as gentle as usual: "You and I have known each other before. I came to your door to beg you with sincerity..." "Did I do something wrong?" "If there's anything wrong, just tell me. It's not like I can't fix it." He said very sincerely. There was even some tentative reserve in his voice. I replied softly: "You didn't do anything wrong. It's just that I have someone in my heart, love cannot be forced." He looked at me blankly for a long time, then finally slowly sat back down. Something in his eyes gradually darkened. But he just lowered his eyes and said calmly as always: "……Is that so? Then congratulations." He raised the teacup and took a sip. The hand was very steady, as if nothing had ever happened. I stood there, my spine straight. The fingertips in the sleeve pressed deep into the palm, leaving a crescent mark. No pain. Compared to the suffering we had to endure in our previous lives, this little bit of pain is nothing. I remember my past life. Ta Quan drew me and smiled with relief: "It seems like Ninh Nhi and I are destined to be destined." On the wedding night, when he used a jade scale to lift my veil, there was truly light in his eyes. That light was so warm that I almost thought someone finally saw me. But in less than three months, that light faded. He started talking about his sister. At first it was just a few superficial sentences, but later it was no longer pretentious. "It would be great if you were as liberal as her." I have tried to change. I changed into wearing cavalry gear, learned to ride a horse, and fell until my palms and knees were covered in blood. He frowned and asked me why I had to do that. I drank wine, laughed and talked cheerfully in the middle of the banquet, he helped me reconcile, but after returning to the palace, he sighed and blamed me for not knowing moderation. No matter what you do, it's not right. The person he wanted was never me, but the figure riding a horse picking flowers in his mother's story. Later, he led his army to fight in the North, and I stayed alone in the palace, taking care of everything above and below. On the day of his triumph, I went to the door to welcome him, but he only glanced at the armor I had cleaned and arranged for him. "If it were the second lady, she would definitely clean the dust for me herself." I tightened my clothes, my nails digging deep into my palms. He didn't even feel that there was anything wrong with that statement. On the day I was about to die, he held my hand and said in a low voice: "It would have been nice if the person who had drawn the prize in the past was your sister." I suddenly burst out laughing. It turns out that my whole life is lost to someone who never existed. When I opened my eyes again, the probe was still on the table. The bamboo cards were scattered, the tea was still steaming hot, the smile at the corner of the mother's lips had not yet hardened. I said goodbye to everyone and turned to leave. Luckily everything was still on time. Mother chased me to the backyard, holding my wrist tightly. Her palm was warm, but her knuckles were shaking a bit. "Ninh Nhi, are you resentful of me? Resentful of me just mentioning your sister?" I stopped walking and turned my head to look at her. Her eyes were red, and silver strands appeared on her sideburns. I know she loves me. In the cold winter, she will personally warm the hand warmer for me. When I was sick, she would stay up all night watching over my bedside. The day I got married, she blushed and said my eyebrows and eyes were very similar to hers. But she loved her child who died at the age of three even more. She put all the love she had yet to give into a lie, telling herself day after day. My younger sister was still alive, just because she wanted to play, she went to her grandfather's house. When his father made up this lie, he probably did not expect it to last for more than ten years. Everyone cooperated with her. The elder brother prepared a hospital for his sister to die

vacated, ordered the servants to bring fresh fruit into that room every month. Every time his father was given a reward, he always let his mother choose the reward for his younger sister first. Every time my mother asked my sister. Father did not change his expression and said: "Today Linh Nhi went out to ride a horse again." As for me, I have understood since childhood that I can never win against a dead person. I gently withdrew my hand. "I don't resent you, I'm just tired." Mother was stunned. She opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something, but in the end she just lowered her voice: "But the War King hates his wife..." "A daughter's fate is hard." I smiled slightly. Mother doesn't stop me anymore. She stood in the hallway, looking at my back, with pain and guilt in her eyes. There is also a bit of darkness that I have never seen in her eyes. Like the first time in twenty years. She realized that her eldest daughter was always overlooked and felt pain. When I returned to the hospital, the night wind made the wind chimes under the eaves vibrate. I heard my mother softly call "Ninh Nhi" behind me, her voice was very light. I don't turn back. But I remember a lot of things. When I was seven years old, I eavesdropped on the maid's conversation, and then I learned that my sister had passed away at the age of three. I ran to ask my mother, she immediately slapped me, her eyes turned red. "What nonsense are you talking about? My sister is still healthy!" That was the first time she hit me. My mother gave me a jade brooch, and as soon as she turned around, she chose a brighter set: "This set is for your younger sister, she likes bright colors." When teaching me to embroider, seeing that my needle line was askew, she immediately frowned: "Your younger sister is skillful, just like me." Each sentence was not aimed at me, but each sentence cut me. The leader told me not to compare myself with someone who has died. Father sighed and said it wasn't easy for mother, telling me to be patient. Everyone speaks up for someone who doesn't exist. No one ever thought of it. I'm the only one still alive. At the moment before I died in my previous life, I finally understood: I couldn't compete with her, not because I wasn't good enough, but because she was dead. Dead people will never make mistakes, will never grow old, and will never disappoint others. That girl is forever alive, forever the most brilliant child in her mother's words. Therefore, in this life I will not fight anymore. After seeing Ta Quan leave. The elder brother came to my hospital, bringing with him a plate of cinnamon rolls. He placed it on the table and was silent for a long time before opening his mouth. He said his mother cried in her room. War King Tieu Triet is famous for his ferocity. If I married there, it would be like jumping into a fire pit. I picked up a piece of cake and took a bite. Red bean paste. Since childhood, I liked jujube filling, but did not like red bean filling. Cinnamon flower cake with red bean filling is my sister's favorite dish according to her mother's story. Just like in previous years, when my mother made clothes, my part was always elegant, and my sister's part was always brilliant. When my mother rewards me with toys, my portion is just a convenience, while my sister's portion is carefully chosen. Even the prefects who give things always do the same. It's not that he doesn't remember my hobbies, it's just that my hobbies have always been put on the back burner. I pushed the plate of cinnamon rolls back, my voice very calm. "This is what my sister likes to eat, I don't like it." The elder brother's face changed. Perhaps he intended to say "There is no need to compare with someone who has died". But when he saw my calm eyes, those words got stuck in his throat. I looked into his eyes and softly asked: "Brother, how many years has it been since you helped my sister clean up the hospital and deliver flowers and fruits?" The brother remained silent.