Chapter 7 — The Shadow Doesn't Exist

"It's the times when I'm compared, denied, overlooked." "It's when you look at me but in your heart you think of someone who doesn't exist." The bottom of Ta Quan's eyes gradually turned red. "What if I had seen her from the beginning?" I smiled slightly. "There's no if." The wind blew past the door. He stood under the steps, I stood inside the door. It's clear that they're only a few steps apart, but it feels like a lifetime apart. Ta Quan took out a book of postcards from his sleeve. "This is the last one." "Not to ask you to turn back." "I just want to return this sentence to you." The wind blew and opened the corner of the paper. Above is written: "Co Ninh's handwriting has high mountains, bright moon, green pine and white snow, hard to find in the world." In my previous life, I waited for this sentence for ten years. In this life, it finally appeared. But we don't need it anymore. Tieu Triet stepped forward from behind and draped his cloak around my shoulders. His hand was very steady. "Cold wind." I nodded. Ta Quan looked at us, the last bit of light in his eyes gradually extinguished. He bowed and bowed. "Wishing you a peaceful and prosperous rest of your life." This time, he no longer called me Ninh Nhi. The day I married into Chien Vuong Palace, the weather was very nice. There was no bloody disaster as rumored. There are no major disasters at all. Tieu Triet rode in front, wearing a black shirt with red silk. He still looks cold. But when he lifted his headscarf, his movements were very light. He said: "Co Ninh, from now on, there will be no second lady in the Royal Palace." "Only you." My eye sockets suddenly became hot. After getting married, there were still people in the capital waiting to see when I would be killed by him. A year has passed, I am still healthy. Two years have passed, I'm still living very well. Tieu Triet does not like to say sweet words. But he remembers that I'm afraid of the cold, remembers that I like jujube filling, remembers that when I write, I don't like to be disturbed by others. He never forced me to change. Never compare yourself to anyone. When the border sent an emergency military alert, he immediately left the capital at night. Before leaving, he placed the seal of the Royal Palace in my hand. "You are in charge of big and small matters in the house." I asked him: "Your Highness, aren't you afraid that I will do something wrong?" He looked at me: "If you do something wrong, the king will take care of it for you." At that moment, I suddenly understood. Truly being loved is not about how good you have to be. But in the end, you don't have to become someone else. Later, my mother often came to visit me. She no longer said Linh Nhi was still alive. Every year on the anniversary of her death, she would come and sit by the small grave outside the city. When she returns, she will bring me a box of jujube cakes. She said: "Ninh Nhi, before, mother was too confused." "In the future, mother will slowly make up for it." I smiled and took it. The wound will not heal immediately. But in the end it no longer continued to ulcerate. Later, I heard that Ta Quan never got married in his whole life. He often went to a small temple outside the city to copy scriptures. But what he copied was not a Buddhist scripture. Those are my old poems. After hearing that, I just smiled slightly. It's all over. Another spring has come. Tieu Triet and I went out to enjoy the spring. In the distance, someone riding a horse passed by, clear laughter echoed. I remember Linh Nhi in my mother's story. This time, I don't have any more pain. Tieu Triet held my hand and asked: "What's wrong?" I smiled softly. "Nothing." It's just that in this life, I finally don't need to continue waiting for the winter wind. Because there is someone by my side, entering spring with me.