Chapter 5 — The Sick Love Trap

He came close, kissed me roughly, bit and sucked until I bled, his hand clutching the back of my neck to prevent me from avoiding it. The salty fishy taste filled my mouth, making it difficult to breathe. I got angry and kicked him hard. He let go, lowered his head to look at the clear shoe prints on his pants, and was silent for a long time. Finally, he looked up, his face was ugly, and he smiled faintly: "Hua Te, you really don't like me." Not a question, but a confirmation. Even so, I still answered: "Yes." I don't like Pho Tuan, I've always been clear about that. He looked at me for a long time, then let go. "Okay, Hua Te. I forgive you." His tone was indifferent, his eyes were as cold as looking at a stranger. He picked up the phone and called the bar manager: "Bring that boy in here." After saying that, he didn't bother looking at me anymore, sat down and continued drinking. A few seconds later, seeing me still sitting, he laughed mockingly: "Aren't you going? Or do you just not want to leave me?" I didn't hesitate, turned around and walked straight. When I walked out, I skillfully passed the other boy. Sitting in the car, I still didn't understand why my heart felt so angry. Hearing him hold someone back, my heart suddenly tingled uncomfortably, like tens of thousands of ants biting me. Suddenly I thought, what did Pho Tuan keep him for? The more you think, the more frustrated you become. I stared at the bar door for three minutes, then was startled: "What does Pho Tuan have to do with me? Haven't I always wanted to get away from him? Now that he has let go, I should be happy. Who is he with, that's his business, what does it have to do with me?" Thinking so, I put out the cigarette butt, rolled up the car window, and prepared to drive away. However, just as he started to warm up, he saw Pho Tuan wrap his arms around the boy's waist and walk out of the bar. He randomly glanced in my direction. I felt guilty and bowed my head to avoid it. He didn't pay any attention, turned around and smiled at the person next to him, then together they got into the luxury car. For some reason, I stepped on the gas and followed. Until I saw them walk side by side into the Deputy Mayor's largest hotel. I sat outside, lit four cigarettes, and he still hadn't come out. In his mind, a promise he once firmly made appeared in his mind: "Hua Te, I love you, my whole life." Now that I think about it, indeed, what the man said in bed was unbelievable. The corner of my lips curled up into a mocking smile, not sure if I was laughing at him or at myself. "Isn't this what you want? Freedom, Hua Te."8 After completely cutting off with Pho Tuan, I received several calls from Mrs. Lam. Basically, Pho Tuan has been going in and out of bars lately, getting into fights, causing trouble, and neglecting his studies. She asked if I could advise him. I can't control him. This is his true face. Before, he just tried to pretend because I liked being obedient, but now he doesn't need to anymore, he doesn't need to cover up. After I refused, Mrs. Lam did not contact me again for a long time. My mother looked at me and finally couldn't help but open her mouth and ask: "Are you not happy lately? Have you broken up with your lover?" I picked up a chopstick of food for her and smiled: "How is that possible? I don't have a lover." She looked at me silently for a long time before saying: "In the past month, I've seen you lose nearly a dozen pounds. You and I don't like eating fish, but you cook fish every day, and who do you cook for? Also, every night there's a phone call. sneaked out again, if not to meet my lover then where to go?” Looking at the plate of sweet and sour fish on the table, I didn't know how to refute it. She sighed and slowly said: "If you really can't forget, then make up. Why torment yourself? I'm not that old-fashioned, I accept men and men, as long as the two of us live peacefully together." Only then did I know that my mother had heard my phone calls with Pho Tuan, and she thought we were because of our gender.

similar so we broke up. I grabbed my mother's hand and shook my head: "Not my lover..." At most, it was just his toy. I sighed softly: "From now on, I won't have this dish anymore." Mom looked at me deeply, and finally said helplessly: "If not, that's fine, as long as you can take care of yourself."