Chapter 8 — The Traitor's Wedding

“Mr. Co, if you have no opinion on the terms, please sign.” Co Thoi Viet raised his head to look at me. “Niem Niem, after signing, we really have no relationship anymore.” I said: “We still have a child.” Light flashed in his eyes. I continued to say: "You are her father legally." "That's all." That little light went out again. He bowed his head and signed. The nib of the pen glides across the paper, very lightly. But I know there are things that are completely broken right at this moment. As he walked out of the office, he called me back. "Can I hug An An for a moment?" I looked towards my mother. An An is sleeping on her lap. I thought for a moment then nodded. "Okay." Co Thoi Viet carefully picked up the baby. His movements were clumsy, his arms were stiff. An An was carried uncomfortably, slightly frowning her small eyebrows. Co Thoi Viet immediately panicked. "Does she not like you?" I didn't answer. A father has almost never held a child, of course the child will feel strange. Co Thoi Viet lowered his head to look at her, a tear fell onto the blanket wrapped around her child. "An An, I'm sorry." "I wasn't good before." An An was sleeping and didn't understand. But I understand. I just calmly looked at him. He returned the baby to my mother, turned around and said to me: "Nien Niem, sorry." "That day when you gave birth, I shouldn't have left you alone." I nodded. "Yes." It seemed like he didn't expect me to be so calm. "Don't you hate me?" I thought for a moment. "I used to hate." "At the most painful moment, I hated it." "After that, I didn't hate it anymore." Co Thoi Viet's eyes changed slightly. I said: "Because hating you takes a lot of energy." "My energy now must be reserved for myself and my daughter." His throat moved and in the end he said nothing more. I turned around and left. Before the elevator door closed, I saw him standing still, raising his hand to cover his eyes. It's like finally understanding that there are losses that cannot be exchanged with an apology. Half a year later, An An knew how to turn over. My mother organized a small hundred days party for her. Unobtrusive. Invite only close relatives and friends. That day, the sunlight was very beautiful. An An was wearing a little pink dress, held in my arms, smiling. Someone asked me if I still believe in marriage in the future. I bowed my head and kissed my daughter's forehead. "Maybe I will still believe it." "But I will never trust someone who only knows how to make up for it." My mother stood next to me, laughing and scolding: "For now, take good care of yourself first." I also laughed. The phone screen lights up. This is the message Tran Nghien sent. Co Thoi Viet's company officially went bankrupt and was liquidated. Due to debt, Lam Van Chi was blocked in front of the apartment door, causing a commotion. After watching, I only replied with two words: "I know." Then I locked the screen. Their ending no longer aroused too many emotions in me. That night, I hugged An An and stood by the window. Each light in the city lit up one by one. The baby lay face down on my shoulder, yawning softly. I suddenly remembered the night I gave birth. Remember those twenty minutes. Pain is real. Despair is real. But it's true that I got over it. After that, Co Thoi Viet sent me one last message. He said: "If I could turn back time, I would definitely hold your hand first." I didn't answer. Because there are no ifs. After that night, I learned something. At the most painful moment, whoever lets go first will forever have no right to return.