Chapter 1 — Youth Returns to You

After the university entrance exam, I arranged for my boyfriend and best friend to go on a graduation trip to the beach. As soon as the car got on the highway, her best friend Hua Niem Niem covered her mouth and said she wanted to vomit. Luc Tri immediately drove into the stop, pulled out a tissue, screwed the cap of the mineral water bottle and brought it to her mouth. She leaned against the passenger seat, her red eyes looking at me: "Chi Chi, sorry, did I lose interest?" Luc Tri turned his head and frowned: "She's upset like this, go buy a box of motion sickness medicine, hurry up." I nodded, wearing the midday sun and running throughout the rest stop. When the driver returned, the parking lot was empty. I thought they were moving the car, so I stood there waiting until my legs went numb. The phone rang, it was a voice message from Luc Tri. "Nien Niem vomited so hard, I'll take her to the hotel first. You think of a way to get here yourself, don't delay the schedule." I stared at that voice message, suddenly remembering before leaving, he had said that the passenger seat had the most beautiful scenery, so it should be reserved for me. At nine o'clock in the evening, I hitched a ride with a truck driver who was returning to the city. The graduation trip is not waiting for me, I won't go anymore. As the truck left the rest stop, the blue road sign in the rearview mirror became smaller and smaller. The driver asked me: "Little girl, did you quarrel with your family?" The wind outside the window rushed in, blowing the car sickness medicine box in my hand into a rustling sound. After a long while, I was able to squeeze out a voice from my throat: "No, the graduation trip has been temporarily canceled." The phone screen lights up. Luc Tri sent me the location, it's a homestay by the beach. Immediately after that, another text message: "Let me know when you get there, don't be angry, Niem Niem is really unwell." Staring at that sentence "don't be angry", my chest felt like it was being burned by the heat on the highway. Before leaving, he stood under my house, patted the passenger seat and said: "Chi Chi, your girlfriend's special seat, no one can compete." Hua Niem Niem was then holding a small bear-shaped backpack, laughing and jostling: "So what if I get car sick?" Luc Tri paused for two seconds, turning the car key on his fingertips: "Then let Niem Niem sit for a while, you can sit in the back and admire the scenery." At that time I didn't say anything. Because Luc Tri reached out and stroked my hair, softly coaxing: "It's time to go to the beach, I'll make it up to you to watch the sunrise." The wheel went over the speed bump, bumping so much that my stomach turned sour. The phone rang again. Hua Niem Niem sent a photo. She wore Luc Tri's shirt, sat in front of the floor-to-ceiling glass door, and on the table were two glasses of coconut water and a plate of cut mangoes. The accompanying text is: "Chi Chi, we arrived first, please pay attention to safety on the way, Mr. Tri said he saved the sofa bed for you." Sofa bed. It turned out that I didn't even have a room. The driver looked at me through the rearview mirror and handed me half a pack of tissues: "Wipe it off." My fingertips touched my cheek and I realized that tears were falling very hard. When Luc Tri called, the truck had just gotten off the highway. As soon as he answered the phone, on the other end of the line came the soft cough of Hua Niem Niem. Luc Tri suppressed his anger: "On Nam Chi, where are you? Why did the location go back?" Each streetlight passed through the car window. I said: "I'm going home." The other side was silent for a moment, then there was the harsh sound of a chair being pulled on the floor. "Are you sick? Everyone has been planning for a month, and if you say you can't come, you won't come?" Hua Niem Niem next to him advised in a low voice: "Mr. Tri, don't scold Chi Chi, he will definitely blame you." Luc Tri's voice became even colder: "Originally, she makes small matters big, buying a box of medicine can also make her angry." The medicine box in my hand was squeezed until it was deformed. I asked softly: "Luc Tri, when you left me alone at the rest stop, I was there

Have you ever wondered if I'm scared or not? He impatiently clicked his tongue: "It's not a remote, desolate place. You're eighteen years old, can you stop making me worry all the time?" On the other end of the line, Hua Niem Niem seemed to knock over a glass. Luc Tri immediately panicked: "Are you burned?" Show me your hand.” The call has not been disconnected. His gentleness was electric, clearly piercing my ears. A moment later, he remembered me and said in a low voice: "Just go home and calm down, take the car here yourself tomorrow, don't make it difficult for everyone." Before hanging up the phone, Hua Niem Niem's voice gently drifted in: "Chi Chi really won't be angry, will he?" Before, he listened to me the most.” The call was disconnected. I threw the other box of motion sickness medicine into the trash. When the truck stopped at the suburban intersection, it was past midnight. As soon as he got off the bus, class president Tham Nghien Chu held an umbrella and stood in front of the convenience store. The white light fell on his shoulders, like a thin layer of mist. He frowned and looked at me: "On Nam Chi, why did you come back from the highway alone?" My throat was choked for a long time. Finally just said: "I want to go home." Tham Nghien Chu didn't ask any more questions and tilted his umbrella towards me. Rainwater falls along the umbrella's slats. The phone screen lit up again. Luc Tri sent a notification reminding you to post to your circle of friends. In the photo, he and Hua Niem Niem stood under fireworks on the beach, in Hua Niem Niem's hand holding a seashell hairpin made by me. The status line is: "Happy graduation, no regrets." The automatic door of the convenience store opened behind me, cold air rushing out. I went to the photo album and deleted the photo we took together pinned at the top. When the deletion confirmation box appeared, Luc Tri sent another sentence: "Tomorrow morning at nine o'clock, don't be late." My fingertips stopped on the screen. The next second, the deletion confirmation tone sounded softly. When I got home, the living room light was still on. Mom sat on the sofa waiting for me, next to a bowl of untouched green bean soup. Seeing me soaking wet, her face immediately turned pale: "Aren't you going to the beach?" The sole of the shoe stepped on the tile, leaving a long string of water stains. I said: "For now, I don't want to go anymore." Mom's movement of taking the towel stopped a bit, she didn't ask further. She understands me so well, knowing that when I don't want to speak, my mouth is even tighter than a door lock. After coming out of the shower, Luc Tri had called seventeen times. Hua Niem Niem also sent many text messages. "Chi Chi, don't misunderstand, I'm just too motion sick." "Mr. Tri said your health has been good since childhood, nothing will happen." "Are you unhappy that I'm sitting in the passenger seat? But I really don't intend to fight." The last message was a voice message. Clicking open, her voice carried a cry: "Chi Chi, can you not make Mr. Tri uncomfortable? The three of us worked hard to graduate, don't ruin the trip because of me." My finger placed on the screen, slowly dragging it up. Three months ago, Hua Niem Niem said she wanted to take the entrance exam to the same university as us. Luc Tri took away my wish list, used a red pen to circle an ordinary school in the city. "Nien Niem's achievements are not stable, you stay to study with her, I can rest assured that you go to another province." Then I asked: "What about you?" He smiled and pinched my face: "You're so smart, it's the same everywhere." But the school I want to go to is in the North. The standard score was very high, I tried for three years, the corner of my desk was covered with sticky notes writing the school's name. Hua Niem Niem saw it, her eyes red and said: "If Chi Chi is gone, I won't have anyone by my side anymore." Luc Tri was silent for half a minute, turned around and said to me: "It's just a school, don't be too selfish." That night, for the first time, I locked the draft of my wishes in a drawer. Now the drawer key remains

hang under the desk lamp. The sound of rain outside the window was pouring. I opened the computer, logged into the application simulation system, and filled in the school again in the first position. When the save button appeared, Luc Tri's phone called again. As soon as he answered the phone, he preempted it with a sentence: "On Nam Chi, did you call Tham Nghien Chu to pick you up?" My hand holding the mouse stiffened. "How do you know?" The other side laughed coldly: "The class has spread it around, saying that you went home with him in the middle of the night, you did it on purpose, right?" Group messages popped up one by one. Someone sent a photo in front of the convenience store. In the rain, Tham Nghien Chu covered me with an umbrella, I bowed my head and stood next to him. Hua Niem Niem replied in the group: "Maybe Chi Chi is just too scared, everyone don't talk nonsense." Below this sentence, Luc Tri sent a period. Very quickly, a private chat box appeared. "I immediately explained in the group, saying Tham Nghien Chu just happened to pass by." The remaining bit of self-pity in my chest was crushed by his command. I asked: "So do you want to explain a little, why did you leave me at the rest stop?" Luc Tri was silent for two seconds, his voice lowered: "Do you have to calculate this in detail?" "Yes." The other person's breathing was heavy. "On Nam Chi, your temper is really big right now. Niem Niem just cried until her stomach hurt, I haven't settled the matter with you yet." Mother knocked on the door. She brought in green bean tea. When she heard this sentence, her face completely sank. I turned on the speakerphone. Luc Tri still said: "Come here tomorrow, everyone has booked train tickets to the sea. If you don't come, I won't return the ticket money." Mom put the bowl on the table and coldly opened her mouth: "Luc Tri, you left my daughter at a rest stop on the highway, do you still have the face to charge her a ticket?" The other side was silent. A few seconds later, Luc Tri's voice was awkward: "Auntie, I didn't mean that, Nam Chi is just too sensitive." Mom was so angry that her hands were shaking. I reached out to hold her back and calmly said: "There's no need to pay for the ticket, just consider feeding the dog." The call was disconnected. A video suddenly appeared in the group. In the video, Hua Niem Niem sits on the homestay balcony, wearing Luc Tri's shirt, blowing out the candles. Luc Tri pushed the cake in front of her, smiled and said: "For your eighteenth birthday, don't cry anymore." Today is also my eighteenth birthday. The cream on the birthday cake smudged onto the video lens, blindingly white. In the group, someone teased: "Mr. Tri's bias is too obvious." Hua Niem Niem sent an embarrassed expression: "Chi Chi is not here, Mr. Tri was afraid that I would be sad so he comforted me, everyone don't talk nonsense." Luc Tri did not deny it. A few seconds later, he sent: "She wanted to go, no one had any choice." This sentence was like a needle, piercing the last bit of eighteen-year-old expectation in me. Last year's birthday, Luc Tri skipped his evening self-study class and rode his bike to take me to the riverbank. He placed a silver dolphin bracelet on my wrist and said, "When you graduate, I'll take you to see the ocean for real." That night the wind was very strong, his uniform jacket covered me, the smell of clean laundry detergent was like summer. Now in the video, when Hua Niem Niem raises her hand, she also swings a dolphin bracelet of the same style on her wrist. I lowered my head and looked at my wrist. That bracelet is still there, it's just that the keychain has been worn out by me. The phone vibrates. Luc Tri sent: "Niem Niem doesn't know that today is also your birthday, don't make things difficult for her." Right after that, there was another message: "Tomorrow I'll make it up to you with cake, don't show your face." I replied: “No need.” As soon as the message was sent, his phone called. "What do you mean?" Rainwater on the window sill dripped into the flower pot, creating tiny holes. I said: “I mean, I don't need anything

compensate."