Chapter 3 — All I Crave in This Life Is Peace

Did Snowie give you a hard time again last night?

The Princess, draped in luxurious silks and radiating an air of noble grace, swept into my courtyard. Her expression was etched with indignation as she continued, "I find that girl to be utterly heartless! If it hadn’t been for her wet nurse speaking up, I would never have known she dared to mock your late parents. Just you wait; when that wild girl finishes her fit and returns, I shall personally force her to kneel in the ancestral hall and accept her punishment!" She kept on scolding, oblivious to the tears welling up in my eyes, growing heavier with every passing second.

Princess, I am sorry. It was all my fault. I threw myself into her arms like a fledgling bird, sobbing softly. In my past life, I had stopped at nothing to climb into the bed of Pho Lam. Everyone despised me for it, and I had seen the deep disappointment in the Princess’s eyes. Even though she abhorred my methods, she had still prepared a ten-mile dowry for me just to preserve my dignity.

You and Pho Lam—the wedding date has been set for ten days from now. That is where it ends. From this day forward, do not seek me out again. The bond between you and me has reached its limit. That shameful act of climbing into bed had frayed five years of a mother-daughter relationship, and severed the deep bond of friendship between her and my own late mother. No one expected that the unborn child of a noble general could so thoroughly disgrace a family’s reputation, abandoning all sense of shame. Just to reach out and grasp at Pho Lam, I had lost far too much. I lost myself, I lost the Princess who once shielded me, and I tarnished the reputation my parents had spent their lives upholding. I truly know where I went wrong.

The Princess patted my back gently, her heart aching with sympathy. It seems you really have been bullied terribly; my sweet little girl is crying such a storm.

I shook my head, sniffing back my tears. It is not that. It is just… I missed you, Princess. You have been gone for months visiting your family in the South. The Princess let out a soft laugh, her gaze overflowing with affection. You really are like a little fleece vest, warming my heart.

Now that I have returned, I have selected a few young gentlemen for you. The upcoming flower appreciation banquet is approaching; do you truly intend not to go? There is a new top scholar who has just arrived from the South, a distant relative of my family named Ta Hanh. Though his father is only a minor sixth-rank official, the young man himself is strikingly handsome, his character is upright, and his future prospects are undoubtedly brilliant. Moreover, with me here, he would never dare treat you poorly. I wish to arrange for you two to meet; what do you think?

In my previous life, the Princess had offered these same words, pouring out her heart to advise me, considering every angle for my sake. Back then, however, my heart belonged only to Pho Lam, and I had flatly refused. But this time, everything was different.

I shall follow your arrangements, Princess. I feigned a shy expression, yielding to her wishes. The Princess seemed slightly surprised that I had agreed so easily. She paused for a moment, then took my hand and said, "It is good that you have finally seen reason."

She was not unaware of the deep affection Chi Trien held for Pho Lam. It was simply that Chi Trien was romantic and naive, while her own son was deep, calculating, and accustomed to the cold machinations of power since childhood. The Prince’s manor required a future Consort with a sharp, guarded mind—one who took every step with absolute certainty—to stand firm within these walls. The two of them, in the end, were simply not suited for each other.

The flower appreciation banquet was held in the rear gardens of the Prime Minister’s estate. In the courtyard, the invited young ladies and gentlemen were dressed in brilliant, ornate silks. Some admired the blossoms beneath the trees, others played games of pitch-pot, or strolled across the bridges to watch the fish. Whenever their youthful gazes met, there was always a hint of unvoiced, bashful hesitation. I sat in a gazebo wearing a gown of apricot silk, sipping tea. Tieu Dao stood to my left, teasing me with a smile: "Young Miss looks truly radiant today! I fear that when that top scholar sees you, he will blush so deeply he won't know which way is North!"

We had talked for a long time the previous night, and once she knew I had let go of the Prince, Tieu Dao could hardly contain her excitement. I have wanted to say this for so long! Though the Prince is handsome, one can tell at a glance that he is cold-hearted and knows nothing of tender love! My young mistress is so gentle; you absolutely must find a suitor who knows how to cherish you! To help me find a worthy match at the banquet, she had risen at dawn to meticulously dress and style me. You should wear bright colors like this; wearing such somber, aged clothes every day, how could it ever highlight your flower-like beauty?

Pho Lam was steady and disliked bright colors. To please him, I had worn only muted tones. But if something does not fit, it simply does not fit. Forcing it only makes the situation more awkward. I do not even know what this top scholar looks like. If his appearance is poor, he will certainly not be worthy of my young mistress.

I took a piece of pastry and stuffed it into her mouth. Tieu Dao, you must not speak ill of people behind their backs. In my past life, I sought a love that was harmonious and profound, a heart as vast as the sea. But having been reborn, I no longer have such expectations for marriage. I only hope for a partner of upright character, so that we may respect one another as if we were honored guests—that is enough.

Oh? I wonder how my appearance truly is; would I be worthy of your young mistress?

A clear voice rang out behind me, carrying a hint of playfulness. I was momentarily flustered and hurriedly turned to stand. My apologies. My maid is quite lively; if she has caused any offense, I hope you will be lenient, young master.

The man was dressed in simple, elegant robes, his physique trim and upright. As he caught sight of my face, a flicker of astonishment crossed his eyes. It is quite alright; I was only joking. Do not take it to heart, Miss. He raised his hands in a formal bow. I have met Chi Trien. My mother told me to come to the gazebo to find you. My name is Ta Hanh, and my courtesy name is Truong Khanh. You may simply address me as Truong Khanh. I curtsied lightly. It is a pleasure to meet you, Young Master Truong Khanh.