Chapter 6 — All I Crave in This Life Is Peace

Those serene, untroubled days were shattered on a night like any other. I stood before the courtyard gate, my expression impatient, and sighed as I addressed the figure before me.

"Brother Lam, what business could you possibly have with me at such an hour?"

Pho Lam pressed his lips into a thin line, hesitating before he finally spoke. "The reason I have been absent from the royal manor these past few days was to investigate the assassin case."

"Oh," I replied dismissively.

"I must travel to the south in secret to pursue the trail. I shall be gone for several months."

I curled my lip, offering only a cold, indifferent, "I see." What could that possibly have to do with me? Pho Lam frowned, his brow furrowing deeply. Did she truly have nothing more to say to him?

"Take this," he said, pressing a jade hairpin into the palm of my hand. "Wait for my return."

I am no fool; I could discern his intentions well enough. Under the weight of his burning gaze, the jade felt as though it were scorching my skin. "I do not want this," I stated firmly. He, however, mistook my rejection for the coy shyness of a young girl. "It is a gift for you; keep it." With those words, he turned on his heel and strode away. I had no desire to entangle myself in his affairs any further; in the end, this hairpin would simply be passed on to Pho Tuyet Nhi.

Realizing the depth of Pho Lam’s feelings, a deep sense of dread took root in my heart. In my past life, I had surrendered my entire soul to him, only to be cast aside like a discarded shoe. In this life, I had strived to keep my distance, yet somehow, he had turned his gaze upon me once more. I let out a hollow laugh, though a profound sadness welled up within me.

I begged the Princess for permission to visit Ta Hanh, and she graciously consented, though she cautioned me to return before dusk. Ta Hanh was dressed in an ivory-colored robe, his hair secured with a jade crown, exuding a gentle, elegant aura. When he looked at me, his gaze was so tender it felt as though it might melt into water. I felt my face flush under his scrutiny and bowed my head.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Ta Hanh scratched his head, his eyes burning with sincerity. "Because I find you beautiful."

He was not lying—Chi Trien was indeed the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. In his youth, when he followed his master to the Western Regions, he had seen the battlefields littered with the fallen—a sight so wretched he could scarcely bear to look. Yet, she had moved through the crowd of wounded soldiers with a calm and steadfast composure, a maturity that seemed impossible for one so young. That radiant girl, bright as the moonlight, had taken root in his heart long ago, growing deeper with the passing seasons. Encountering her again, he realized his affection had blossomed into a wild, uncontrollable spring. After years of separation, their reunion felt like a decree of fate, and this time, he was determined never to let go.

For this meeting, Ta Hanh had prepared with meticulous care. He took me on a boat ride to admire the lush gardens of spring and then led me to the finest restaurant in the realm, where the table was laden with dishes I particularly favored. I was stunned by his attentiveness.

"All of this?" I asked, bewildered.

The man who usually commanded the political courts seemed momentarily flustered. "Is something not to your taste?"

I shook my head. "How did you know I liked these dishes?"

"I asked your mother," he said, looking at me with a cautious, hopeful expression. "I hope you do not find it too forward."

In truth, it was not just the food; every word my mother had spoken about me, he had committed to memory. He then produced a jade hairpin, placing it gently into my palm. "I saw you looking at it, so I bought it for you."

When we had passed the jeweler’s shop, I had only caught a fleeting glimpse of that pin. Because it was far too expensive, I had silently put it back. I never imagined he would have noticed. My nose stung with sudden tears; I turned away, whispering, "You did not have to do this. This jade is far too precious; you should return it. It is not worth such a gesture for me."

What was truly precious was not the hairpin, but the affection of this young man. I had never been held in such high regard; my past life had accustomed me to nothing but cold, biting mockery. Facing such genuine sincerity now, I did not know how to respond. Seeing my eyes well up, he panicked, but as I regained my composure, he asked softly, "Do you like it?"

I hesitated for a heartbeat before nodding. He curled his lips into a light smile. "I am your betrothed; buying things for you is only right. If this hairpin pleases you, then it is well worth the price."

As the sky deepened into the hues of twilight, he escorted me back to the manor, clearly reluctant to part. "There are rumors outside that I only sought your hand to rely on the power of the royal manor for my own advancement. You may not believe me, but I want you to know that marrying you was my own true desire. I cherish you deeply, and in this life, I shall take no concubines. I only wish to grow old with you, never to be parted."

His youthful affection was direct and scorching, setting my heart ablaze and forcing me to look away in confusion. "I..." I said, feeling my cheeks heat up, and handed him a hand-embroidered sachet. "This is for you."

He froze for a moment, his eyes lighting up with joy. "For me?"

The sachet bore my name, embroidered in small, delicate characters. His fingertips traced the stitches as if trying to carve the memory into his very bones.

"There are medicinal herbs inside to help you sleep soundly."

He tied the sachet to his waist like a child showing off a prized treasure. "Does it look good?"

My ears burned bright red. "Yes, it is beautiful."

"I have to go inside now," I said, stepping toward the gate, but he reached out and caught my wrist.

"Let me look at you a little longer," he said, his voice laced with a touch of grievance.

I looked at him and said, "The Princess has already set a date for the wedding, and she told me to choose."