Chapter 7 — All I Crave in This Life Is Peace

The choice is between three months from now or two years from now.

I intend to choose the date two years from now.

A flicker of regret crossed his eyes, yet he quickly composed his thoughts. Three months of preparation is far too rushed; a life-altering event such as marriage should be handled with care and completeness. Chi Trien, I will wait for you.

I brushed his hand away and bolted, then turned back to flash a mischievous smile. I was only teasing you. Three months, and we shall meet again.

The words Pho Lam spoke that night truly terrified me. I was anxious to leave the prince’s mansion and put distance between us. In my previous life, I was foolish enough to marry him; in this life, even with Pho Lam lingering like a suffocating shadow, I would not allow myself to be rushed into a union, only to fall into the same abyss. I arranged to meet Ta Hanh, hoping to discern the true character of the man. Upon finding him to be gentle, composed, and upright in his conduct, the panic that had gripped my heart since our engagement suddenly settled into an eerie peace. Because of this, the prospect of an early marriage no longer filled me with dread.

Thirty miles outside the city gate, Pho Lam was exhausted, his appearance weathered by the dust of the road.

Young Master, the relay station is just ahead. We have been riding day and night for three consecutive days; should we not pause to rest?

On this journey to the South, they had used the guise of assassination attempts as bait, eventually uncovering evidence that the Prince of An was secretly raising an army to rebel, thereby resolving a great threat to the Emperor. The Emperor was overjoyed, and he intended to use this achievement to secure an imperial decree for the marriage to Chi Trien. Although he had only been away from the capital for three months, it felt as though years had passed; his longing was overwhelming. What was she doing now? Was she secretly thinking of him, perhaps shedding tears? At the mere thought, he grew restless and agitated. Faster! Push the horses! We return to the capital!

By the time he reached the mansion, it was the hour of the Rooster. Yet, the estate was far from quiet; red silk hung before the doors, and lanterns burned bright as day, filled with the jubilant air of celebration.

Lam, you have returned!

The Princess was draped in crimson robes today, looking radiant and blinding. Your younger sister Chi Trien is being wed today. Go quickly, bathe and change, then head to the Ta family estate to partake in the wedding festivities!

Pho Lam’s expression darkened to a terrifying degree. Kieu Chi Trien? Marriage?

It was not that he was unaware of the engagement between Ta Hanh and Chi Trien. It was simply that he had never deigned to take it seriously. It was only an engagement; finding an excuse to break it would be simple enough. The one Chi Trien loved was him, not that pale-faced scholar. Once he had secured this great merit and obtained the imperial decree, even with the disparity in their statuses, he would be able to make her his primary wife. Why did she not wait for him? His heart throbbed with a sharp, agonizing ache that made even breathing a trial. Jealousy, panic, and helplessness welled up within him, and the corners of his lips curled into a cold, mocking smile.

Kieu Chi Trien, you were the one who tempted me first. How could you ever hope to escape so easily? What does a marriage matter? I shall simply steal you back.

On the wedding night, I sat upon the exquisitely carved wooden bed, draped in a crimson gown. Before I could even wait for Ta Hanh to arrive, I was forcibly knocked unconscious and carried away from the mansion by Pho Lam. He hid me in a refined courtyard, treating me with fastidious care; every detail of my food and lodging was attended to with absolute precision. I met him with icy detachment, my gaze filled with nothing but profound loathing. He was wounded by that look, his eyes lowering in a desperate plea, like a man whose pride had been shattered.

Chi Trien, will you love me again? Please?

My hands were bound by chains, and my eyes remained cold. Pho Lam, do you even understand what love is? A man like you, born to treat the world and its beings as nothing more than blades of grass. Have you ever truly respected me?

Pho Lam’s eyes turned bloodshot. I did not wish for it to be this way, but if I do not lock you away, you will vanish! It is clear that you loved me first; why have you stopped?!

I refused to argue with him, responding only with a chilling, hollow silence. Why did I stop loving him? Because the price of that love was too catastrophic—so tragic that it was seared into my very soul.

By the third month of my imprisonment, he still refused to let me go. He did not touch me, yet every night he slept by my side. Even when I had driven a hairpin into his chest, leaving him drenched in blood, he had not stepped away. One night, fueled by drink, he looked at me with stubborn, desperate eyes. Chi Trien, why do you not like me anymore?

He was the young heir to a princely house, tasked with supporting an entire clan. He was forced to remain rational and composed, always making the decisions that would yield the greatest advantage. Yet, every time he faced my cold gaze, he lost his grip on his sanity, spiraling into madness.

I spent my life manipulating the hearts of others, he whispered, only to find myself defeated by you in the end.

Must I carve out my heart and gut myself for you to believe that I am not lying? He drew a short blade, grabbed my hand, and pressed the tip of the knife against his own chest. Stab me here.

The sharp blade pierced his skin, and fresh blood gushed forth. I was so terrified by his insane act that I began to weep uncontrollably. Pho Lam! Have you gone mad?!

Having lost too much blood, he quickly slipped into unconsciousness. I scrambled to staunch his wounds. I hated him for trapping me, yet I could not turn a blind eye while he teetered on the brink of death.