Chapter 1 — I Went Through The Forgotten Years

The year I quit my job, I was twenty-eight years old and had just been promoted to department head. The company's leaders kept me here for a long time, saying that if I just continued on this path for two more years, doubling my annual salary would not be a problem. But Chu Thua Vien held my hand, his voice gentle as if a peaceful life had been promised:

"Children also have to have someone to take care of them, and mother's health is not good. Go home first, settle down and think about it later. Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

I believed then. I thought marriage was two people working in the same direction, I took a step back to make this house a little more stable. So I put my computer in the closet, stuffed my work high heels in the box, and started another “job”—no pay, no days off, and no one to recognize my value. After my son Chu Tu Ngon was born, I almost never got a full night's sleep. At midnight the child had a fever, I took him to the hospital; Ly Tu Mai's mother-in-law had back pain, so I went with her for treatment; My father-in-law has high blood pressure, I pay attention to every meal; Chu Thua Vien is busy with work, shirts have to be ironed, rice has to be heated, everything big and small in the house is arranged by me. I'm like a screw that's been screwed extremely tight, supporting the whole family to operate, but no one thinks that's also "capacity". At first, Chu Thua Vien even said a difficult sentence. After that he spoke less and less. Then gradually, he conveniently took it all for granted.

“Van Van, coffee.”

“Van Van, have you bought your mother's medicine yet?”

“Van Van, why haven't you checked Tu Ngon's homework yet?”

Like I was born to stand there, carrying everything for all of them. What really woke me up was the day Chu Thua Vien was promoted. That day, the Chu family had a table filled with food. After sending the leader home, Chu Thua Vien was in a very good mood and drank a bit too much. Ly Tu Mai smiled and praised her son for his future. Chu Kien Quoc continued:

“Men, you have to know how to make money to support your family.”

I was washing dishes in the kitchen, when I heard that sentence, my hand stopped a bit. I put down the last plate, dried my hands, then walked out, smiling and saying:

"Thua Vien can work with peace of mind thanks to the cooperation at home."

I spoke very restrainedly, not even taking credit for it, I just didn't want my years to be erased by one sentence. Unexpectedly, Ly Tu Mai raised her eyebrows and immediately became unhappy:

"What are you talking about, as if this house couldn't work without you? Staying at home to take care of the children, cook a few meals, you talk like you've accomplished a great deal."

Chu Thua Vien leaned back in his chair, the alcohol steam rising. Not only did he not stop, but he also laughed:

"Mom, don't accept her. You've been at home for a long time, so you think a lot. After all, isn't it me who makes the money to support this house?"

The whole dining table immediately fell silent. I stood there, my ears ringing. Looking at the people I devoted my whole life to taking care of for five years, for the first time I felt so paranoid. Cooking is me, raising children is me, taking care of the elderly is also me. I live like a tireless machine, but in the end they say a light sentence—you don't make any money. That sentence was like a needle, piercing the layer of fake peace that I had comforted myself with all these years. I suddenly asked:

“Chu Thua Vien, what have I been at home all these years?”

He did not raise his head:

“What do you mean?”

“Everyone thinks I have no value without a job, right?"

He finally looked up, an annoyed look on his face:

“Why did you start again? I drank a little wine and said a few words, so you have to make such a big deal out of it? Besides, what did you say wrong? The money in the house was originally earned by him. Don't think about useless things all day long. If you have time, sign up for Tu Ngon's gifted class next week."

I looked at him for a long time, then suddenly burst out laughing. Turns out it wasn't a slip of the tongue. It turned out that in his mind, I was really just someone who spent his money and took care of the rear for him. My time, energy, sacrifice and youth, because they cannot be expressed in numbers in an account, are not worth a penny. That night, Chu Thua Vien slept very quickly. And I kept my eyes open until morning. For the first time, I seriously thought: if one day I don't work anymore, what will this house look like? The next morning, at half past five, I still got up to cook breakfast as usual. When frying eggs, oil splashed on the back of my hand, causing me to shrink in pain, but my mind was unusually calm. I don't work and wake everyone up like before. After finishing cooking, I sat down at the dining table and took out the computer that I hadn't turned on for a long time. The moment it started, the screen lit up, reflecting my quiet but steely gaze. I opened the mailbox that had been covered in dust for many years, looked back at the projects, plans, tables, and summaries of the past days—like meeting another person of myself from a long way away. That person is smart, neat, has income, has the ability to make others need him, and also has the courage to leave anyone. My fingertips stopped on the keyboard, gently typing the first line:

——Update personal CV.

I didn't tell anyone. I started quietly looking for a job. I spent a week synthesizing all my previous experiences, then adding in the changes in the industry in recent years. During the day I still cook, pick up and drop off children, and take care of the elderly; At night, when everyone was asleep, I sat alone in the living room, listening to the course and taking notes, like going back to the time when I first started working and was the most daring. It was difficult at first. A gap of five years cannot be erased by saying "I used to be very good". I sent out more than a dozen CVs, most of which got no response. Occasionally, HR calls. As soon as they hear I've been away from my position for so long, their tone is immediately polite and distant. I'm sad too. But this sadness is different from the feeling of being looked down upon in the Chu family. One side is climbing, painful but with direction; one side is rotting. Half a month later, I finally received an interview call. Is a domestic mother and baby chain brand. The scale is not large but is moving to online operations, right at the time when someone with management experience is needed. They scheduled me for an interview at two o'clock the next afternoon. I held the phone, my palms were sweaty. At that moment, I almost wanted to cry. But the real difficulty was not the interview, but how to leave this house in two hours. I tried telling Chu Thua Vien:

"I have something to do tomorrow afternoon, can you come home early to pick up Tu Ngon?"

He was texting with his head down, without thinking:

“What do you have time for? I have to receive guests in the afternoon.”

“Then let mom pick it up for you.”

As soon as Ly Tu Mai heard it, she frowned:

“My legs hurt a lot these days, don't you know? Besides, picking up the child is her job. You're a full-time housewife, so what's the point of not being able to go?"

I looked at her and said lightly:

“Personal business.”

“Personal business?” She laughed coldly, "Eating at the Chu family, what business do you have?"

I didn't argue anymore and turned to texting my old friend Hua Vi. She didn't ask anything and immediately agreed to pick up my child for me. The next afternoon, I wore the beige vest that had been pressed to the bottom of my suitcase for a long time, and applied light makeup. The person in the mirror still had traces of fatigue, but the light had begun to return. The interview was not easy. The person in charge kept asking about the five-year gap, ability to withstand pressure, and whether family would get in the way. I don't talk about suffering or shout slogans, I just talk about my observations with consumers, family shopping, parental psychology, and then analyze my previous project experience. I speak very firmly.