Chapter 3 — I Went Through The Forgotten Years

That day was the day Chu Tu Ngon's school held parent-child activities. I told Chu Thua Vien half a month ago, telling him to take his time. But that morning, he texted again saying he had a dinner date and couldn't go. I participated in the entire activity alone. During the crafts section, when Chu Tu Ngon saw that the other children had their fathers with them, his eyes clearly darkened a bit. On the way home, my child quietly asked me:

“Mom, does dad not like being with me?”

At that moment, I almost burst into tears right in the taxi. In the evening, Chu Thua Vien returned home with the smell of alcohol still lingering on his body. I tried to suppress my anger and asked him:

"Why do I always change my mind at the last minute about the things I promised you?"

Chu Thua Vien took off his coat, his voice full of annoyance:

"Didn't you say, socializing? Isn't it because of this house that you make money?"

“Everything you push is about making money.”

I looked straight at him:

“Just spending time with your child once, is it that difficult for you?”

Chu Thua Vien lost patience when I looked at him, his voice also raised:

"Aren't you already gone? Do you have to have me to count? Lam Van, do you think everyone owes you after a few days of work?"

Ly Tu Mai heard the movement, walked out of the room, and as soon as she opened her mouth, she scolded:

"Thua Vien is having such a hard time outside. As soon as you come back, you're already looking for trouble. Is there anyone else who is a wife like you?"

I suddenly burst out laughing. The smile was very light, but it made Chu Thua Vien's heart suddenly sink.

“I'm looking for something?”

I looked at the three people in front of me, every word was clear:

"I take care of all the big and small things at home. I manage my children's emotions, I take care of the health of the elderly, and I'm also doing work. Now I'm just asking a father to carry out a little bit of the responsibility he should have, but instead I'm looking for trouble?"

Chu Thua Vien's face was cold:

"Don't stand here and lecture me. Without me making money, with your meager salary, how many days can you support this house?"

At this point... I really don't want to hold back anymore. I brought the notebook that recorded family expenses that I had prepared in advance and placed it on the tea table. I turned the pages one by one to show him. Every number and every note was clear and undeniable.

"This is all the family's expenses over the past three years. Who compares and registers for my extra classes, who runs around when the adults in the family go to the doctor, who remembers to pay the electricity and gas bills on time, and who prepares for visiting relatives every Tet holiday. You keep saying you take care of the family, so do you ever know how this house operates every day?"

When I asked Chu Thua Vien, his face turned pale and his voice became harsh and unpleasant:

“Are trivial things like this worth talking about?”

“For you it's a trivial matter, for me it's five years of my life.”

I looked straight at him, each word falling as heavy as a stone:

"From today onwards, you will never use the phrase 'I raised you' to pressure me again. You give this family money, and I give this family time, energy, the opportunity to trade, and a whole five years of career. No one has the right to step on anyone else."

The living room suddenly became eerily quiet. Perhaps Chu Thua Vien has never seen me like that—not crying, Don't make a fuss, just calmly turn each page of the notebook, say each sentence decisively, leaving no room for retreat. Out of shame, he got angry and blurted out:

“You are so terrible now, is there someone outside?”

I was stunned for a second, then just felt so funny that it chilled me. Once men are helpless, the first thing they think of is always suspecting that women have changed their hearts, as if if I am no longer obedient, it must be because of another man.

“You should be less disgusted.”

I closed the book, my voice so cold that there was no emotion left:

“I just finally understood that relying on anyone is not as good as relying on yourself.”

That night, we slept separately for the first time. I lay on the small bed in my son's room, the streetlight outside cast a pale light. Chu Tu Ngon fell asleep, unconsciously approached me, and rubbed my arms like a habit. I gently stroked my child's hair, but there was not the slightest bit of relief in my heart. Because I know, the real difficulty is not this argument, but all the days that follow—the days when I will no longer back down. Before, I used to think that the worst thing about a marriage was just coldness. But I didn't expect that there would also be betrayal. I began to realize Chu Thua Vien's abnormalities when he kept changing his phone password. Before, he could leave his phone anywhere, but then he had to bring it into the bathroom even when taking a shower. Occasionally a message would appear, he would just glance at it and then immediately turn off the screen. I'm not the type of person who likes to check other people's phones. But once there is something hidden in your heart, even if you don't say it, the marks will be revealed on your body. That night, Chu Thua Vien was drunk and left his phone on the sofa. The screen lit up, a message popped out.

"You have to comfort the family when you come back today, right? I'm really tired."

The sender's name is saved as: Tieu San. I stood in the middle of the living room, staring at that text, feeling my blood cool little by little. I didn't hesitate and directly unlocked the phone. Zhou Chengyuan thought I didn't know the password, but in fact he never changed it—it was still Zhu Ziyan's birthday. The chat history in WeChat is not long, but enough to make people nauseous. During the lunch break on a working day, we would meet up to eat, using the excuse of work to go out and stay at the hotel. In the text messages, they would constantly complain that I was "more and more uncomfortable", "staying at home for too long makes me stupid", "it's not interesting at all". The woman named To San was the new recruitment manager of his company. Every sentence and every word was ambiguous, trying to probe back and forth like a dangerous game. I scrolled down each line of messages, my hand still steady, but my heart felt like it was filled with cold blocks of ice. I don't cry. Or it could be said that the initial sharp pain only lasted a few minutes, then what remained was only an extreme calm. I suddenly understood why Chu Thua Vien was always trying to pick trouble with me lately, always criticizing me for not being gentle enough, not taking care of the family enough, why as soon as I found a part of myself, he immediately wanted to extinguish me. Because he has long stopped seeing me as an equal partner.