Chapter 3 — Living for Myself This Time

With the betrothal finally annulled, a profound weight lifted from my shoulders. My aunt squeezed my hands tightly, offering repeated apologies. Though my uncle was a man of few words, as he saw me off, he spoke with a gravitas that moved me: "From now on, you are our own daughter. If you ever face hardship out there, know that you always have a home to return to."

I knew their affection was genuine; they truly regarded me as their own. Yet, I could not bring myself to tell them that I would soon be departing for the countryside for work. It was quite late by the time my transport reached the stop. As I stepped off, intending to buy a few steamed buns for dinner, I discovered a neatly wrapped bundle of cash tucked into my pocket. Five hundred yuan—my aunt must have slipped it into my coat during our embrace. My vision blurred instantly; they were such decent people. It was a tragedy that Lu Quan and I were simply not meant to be.

As I approached my building, the neighbors gathered gossiping by the entrance cast strange, sidelong glances in my direction. I tugged nervously at my hem. Mrs. Fang, who lived next door to Lu Quan, brushed the sunflower seed shells from her hands and pulled me into a secluded corner. "I don't mean to pry, dear, but your kindness is bordering on foolishness," she chided. "How could you let those people into your home? Lu Quan is a prize that every girl in this neighborhood covets. You must learn to guard what is yours! Honestly, your household has no sense of boundaries. Widows always invite trouble, and everyone else keeps their distance from that woman and her son. Only the two of you seem eager to rush into the fire! It’s a good thing you returned tonight. If you hadn't, I shudder to think what rumors would be circulating by morning. That Li Tan Tan woman is no shrinking violet, I tell you. You must be careful—if anything happens, come talk to us."

Only then did the reality of the situation dawn on me. Lu Quan had brought Tan Tan and her son into our home. Knowing full well it would invite scandal, he had callously used me as his shield. A bitter, ironic laugh rose in my throat. He was well aware that his actions were improper; he simply used the veneer of "compassion" to mask his illicit desires. To bring a woman into his home just one day after I had left—was he so desperate, or simply unable to restrain himself? None of it mattered now. I would be leaving this place in two days.

I looked up to see Mrs. Fang’s curious, prying eyes. I knew these women weren't inherently malicious, just bored and prone to whispering behind backs. Yet, in my previous life, it was these same neighbors who constantly claimed I was unworthy of Lu Quan and labeled me an obstacle to his "true love" with Tan Tan. I thanked Mrs. Fang quietly and returned home without another word. What was there to say? Should I broadcast their tawdry affair and tarnish their reputations? Since my rebirth, I had toyed with the idea of exposing them. After all, they had ruined my entire life in my past existence; how could I not feel resentment? But I could not bring myself to break my aunt and uncle's hearts. They had been too kind to me. My gratitude toward them was so deep that even my hatred for Lu Quan was tempered by the fear of causing them pain. As long as I remained tethered to Lu Quan, I could not strike at Tan Tan. If I caused a scene, Lu Quan would only use the excuse of "honor" and "obligation" to justify marrying her—which was exactly what she wanted. Flies cannot land on a sealed egg, but the rot had already started within Lu Quan himself.

As I opened the door, the laughter inside ceased instantly. Lu Quan and Tan Tan were both wearing matching aprons. The boy, Huy, was chirping happily around them; they looked for all the world like a domestic family unit. Lu Quan was the first to react. He set down a plate and walked toward me, reaching for my bags. "You’re back?" he asked. I didn't answer and headed straight for my room, only for him to block my path. Seeing this, Tan Tan snatched Huy and retreated into my bedroom with practiced ease.

I narrowed my eyes at Lu Quan, waiting for an explanation. He coughed awkwardly. "Tan Tan hasn't been feeling well, and Huy is still young, so I invited them to stay for a few days. I thought you would understand, so I didn't warn you."

Only then did I notice my belongings had been unceremoniously dumped in a heap by the balcony window. Lu Quan followed my gaze, hurrying over to rescue a coat that had been stepped on. "I thought your things were easy to move, so I let them take the room," he stammered. "I planned to reorganize once Huy finished eating. I never expected you back so early."

So, it was my fault for returning? Seeing my continued silence, Lu Quan grew flustered. "We are getting married soon anyway. Why not just move into my room?"

I followed him into his room in silence. The marriage application sat on his desk, the date left blank. He set my bags down and sat opposite me. "How are your aunt and uncle? What did they say about the wedding?"

"They are well," I replied. "You should visit them more often. As for the wedding, they want to consult with a few others. There’s no rush—let's take it slowly." With only two days left, I would stall for as long as possible.

"They're just happy you’re back; they don't need me there," Lu Quan joked. I didn't dignify that with a response, offering only a curt nod before saying I wanted to sleep.

"Dad! I’m hungry!" Huy shouted from the living room. Lu Quan urged me to join them, but I shook my head, claiming I had already eaten. Soon, the apartment filled with the savory scent of food and the sound of cheerful laughter. A doting father, a gentle mother, a well-behaved child—a picture of domestic bliss. Tan Tan certainly raised a "well-behaved" boy. At least he knew how to love his mother, unlike my own daughter. I shook my head, forcing myself to stop dwelling on the past.

I was jolted awake by Huy jumping on the bed, using it as a trampoline without a care for the person sleeping on it. When I snapped at him, he burst into tears. Lu Quan and Tan Tan rushed in. "Apologize," I said coldly to the boy. Instead, he glared at me and appealed to Lu Quan: "Dad, I hate this woman! She doesn't like us, and she's bullying us. Don't marry her! Can't you send her away?"

Tan Tan began to sob. "Sister-in-law, I am so sorry. I didn't teach my son well, please don't be angry. Even if you dislike me, please don't take it out on a child. He's so young."

Lu Quan cradled the boy, casting a look of intense disapproval at me, clearly expecting an apology. I refused to argue with such hypocrites. I stood up, gathered my belongings, and prepared to leave. Lu Quan blocked my path. "What are you doing? It's so late! Are you really going to walk out just because you're angry at a child?"

Seeing that I was truly finished, Tan Tan hurried into the room with her son. Lu Quan pushed me back onto the bed and pulled up a chair. Just as he opened his mouth, I thrust my wrist toward him—bruised and swollen where the boy had trampled it. The words died in his throat, his face flushing deep red. After a long silence, he pleaded, "Huy is just a child, and Tan Tan has had a hard time raising him alone, so she spoils him. You are an adult, don't lower yourself to his level. Can't you be a bit more understanding? I know you don't like her, but by acting this way, aren't you forcing them to leave? Just apologize to them..."

I laughed coldly. "I'm not forcing them out; I'm the one leaving to make space for them. You brought them here without a word and tossed my things aside—aren't you the one who forced me out? You wanted to bring them in, but you were too cowardly to face the consequences, so you used me as a shield. You know this isn't right, don't you?"

Lu Quan’s face went ghastly pale. His hands trembled as he tried to speak, but no words came. Finally, he turned and fled. I moved out that night, making enough noise that the neighbors watched with keen interest. I no longer cared. I hadn't wanted to ruin Lu Quan, but if he was hell-bent on his own destruction, I would no longer stand in his way. I checked into a guest house nearby and, for the first time since my rebirth, I slept in total peace.

The next morning, Tan Tan arrived at my door with red, puffy eyes, demanding to know if I had done this on purpose. Apparently, the moment I had left, the entire neighborhood was buzzing with rumors about her illicit affair with Lu Quan. Everywhere she went, she was met with contemptuous glares and whispered accusations.