Chapter 14 — The Day I Return

"When I was fifteen years old, I started pursuing him. My father told me he couldn't let me be with him." She raised her head to look at me, her eyes filled with complex emotions, "It's not that she's not good at it - but she's afraid that you... can't stand that outcome."
“So what I mean is —”
“What your father means is to let time pass slowly.” She interrupted me, "He said you were still young, wait until you grow up, understand things, and naturally let go."
“But mom didn't wait.”
The corner of her mouth curled up a bit, as if smiling bitterly.
"My father is gone, my mother... is taking care of this house alone. My sister has graduated, and I am still in school. At that time, my mind was full of Ky Lang, revolving around it all day."
“I —”
“I'm scared.”
Her voice suddenly became heavy.
"I'm afraid that one day you'll actually be with him, and then he'll leave - what should I do? When your father leaves, what will you become, do you remember? You haven't eaten or drank anything in a month, you've lost fifteen pounds, in the middle of the night I can still hear you crying in the blanket -"
My heart ached.
“I can't let you go through that again.” Her hands were shaking, "So - when your sister said she was willing, I... agreed."
“My sister is tougher than me.” She continued, "Since childhood, he has been more resilient than you. I think, even if it comes to the worst situation - he will still be able to withstand it."
I stared at her.
"So have you ever thought about how my sister would have to live if she marries a man who has someone else in her heart?"
Her body felt like it had been stabbed in a weak spot and it shrank back. Half a day speechless.
“I thought… after a long time everything would be okay…” Her voice became smaller and smaller.
“After a while everything will be fine.” I repeat again.
This saying. It's this saying. Supported my mother in making that decision. It is also a saying that helps Ky Lang maintain the marriage. And they were words of support for my sister to endure the cold violence for who knows how long. After a while everything will be fine. What a great saying. An extremely weak statement. I stood up.
“Mom, I have already asked what I need to ask.”
She suddenly raised her head: "Are you going to leave? You just arrived -"
“I didn't come to reminisce about the past.”
“Tieu Duong —” She stood up, reached out to grab me, but stopped in midair — seemingly unsure of whether she could touch me or not.
I looked at her floating hand. The hands are thin and dry. The joints are somewhat deformed. The tip of the finger still has traces of antiseptic alcohol — a trace of a blood test for diabetes. Giang Ninh has already said it. My throat moved.
“Mom, do you take your medicine on time?”
She was stunned. Then tears flowed.
“Did you drink… did you drink…”
I took out an envelope from my pocket and placed it on the tea table.
"Inside there is a card. The password is mother's date of birth."
“Little Tang, I don't need your money —”
“It's not money.” I said, "It's a method of contact. On the back of the card is a phone number, which is the private clinic of an endocrinologist in Zurich. Mother's diabetes and eye problems, tell Giang Ninh to take her for a general check-up. I'll take care of the expenses."
Her tears fell even more intensely. She nodded continuously. The mouth mumbled something, I couldn't hear clearly. I stayed where I was, not moving yet. Don't come closer either. About ten seconds later — I said: "What happened three years ago, I don't plan to pursue it anymore." She raised her head.
"I understand your mother's starting point. But my way of doing things — hurt all three of us."
Her lips trembled.
"I don't hate you, mom. But in a short time, I can't face you like before."
“Okay… okay…” She nodded repeatedly, “Just take your time… I wait…”
I put on my shoes and opened the door.