Chapter 1 — The One Who Remembers Me Instead

The day the Lang family came to the door to discuss the marriage. The elder sister just returned from the horse racetrack. She didn't care about the rules, put on a red dress, and rushed straight into the lobby with a smile. Lang Nghien is drinking tea. He raised his head, his eyes suddenly stopped. A month later, the Lang family sent someone to cleverly express that they wanted to change their relationship partner to their eldest sister. The Lang family's mama smiled approvingly:
“Little Miss and Miss Ky just met and hit it off…”
"After all, they are all girls from the Ky family, how do you feel..."
Mother was so happy that she couldn't close her mouth and kept agreeing. Then, she turned to me and said:
“Who told you that anywhere is not as good as Minh Chau?”
"Now that the Lang family's son has set his sights on Minh Chau, it's useless for you to fight."
"Don't worry, mother guarantees that she will definitely find a good husband for you in the future."
I lowered my eyes and refused:
"There's no need to bother mother. Grandmother has already arranged another marriage for me."
01
Elder sister Ky Minh Chau and I are biological sisters born from the same mother. She was three years older than me, and from a young age she had a beautiful appearance, eyebrows like a distant mountain, eyes like autumn water. All over the capital, it is said that the eldest daughter of the Ky family is a natural beauty. Her father loved her intelligence and intelligence, and her mother loved her innocence and cuteness. Even someone with a strict personality like their grandmother, every time they see her, they have to slightly curl the corners of their lips. And since I was born, I have been like a calm lake. Normal appearance, quiet personality, soft voice. Even when walking down the hallway, I try to walk quietly, almost without making a sound. When I was a child, every time there was a guest in the palace, my mother would call me out to pay respects. We lower our eyes, close our shoulders, like a chaste tree growing in the corner of the wall. Mother secretly sighed:
“Why doesn't this child look even a little bit like me?”
When she said that, she was combing her eldest sister's shiny, jet-black hair. In the bronze mirror, Ky Minh Chau blinked at me, the corners of his lips curled up, like a cat that had just stolen a fish. I bowed my head and quietly retreated out. That year I was seven years old, and I already understood what it was to be a superfluous person. The elder sister liked to ride horses and shoot archery, so her father immediately invited the head teacher from Tay Son to come to the palace to teach her. The elder sister liked Tu Ca Phu's poetry, so the mother immediately asked someone to find an Academy member who had resigned him to become a teacher. The elder sister criticized the peanut almond dish made by the chef in the palace for not being sweet enough, and the next day the kitchen immediately changed to a pastry chef invited from Jiangnan. And if I want a new box of colors, I have to stand outside my mother's room for half an hour. In the room, the eldest sister was acting coy, saying she wanted a little red horse. The mother smiled and pinched her cheek:
"Okay, okay, okay. Everything is up to you."
I tightened my sleeves, turned around and left. After that, my grandmother discovered that I often hid in the garden, using a blunt pen to dip water in and draw on the ground, so she quietly ordered someone to give me a box of colors. I hugged that wooden box, hid behind a fake mountain and cried for a long time. On the color box there was also a piece of paper written by Mother Tan next to her grandmother:
“The second lady draws very beautifully.”
I used that color box until I was fifteen years old. After the last tube of ice blue had dried, I never mentioned to anyone that I wanted a new one again. One time, the eldest sister hurriedly rushed into my room and looked I saw the picture book on the table. She picked it up and flipped through a few pages, then let go. The picture book fell, each page splashing all over the ground. She quickly bent down to pick it up, but instead knocked over the teacup on the table.
“Oh, I didn't mean it.”
She squatted down to pick up the scattered pages of the painting. She apologized, but her bright eyes looked back at me, containing a hint of laughter.
"A Nguyen won't blame me, right? Anyway, your drawing isn't too good, so it's okay to redraw it."
I knelt down on the ground and picked up each page one by one. The tea smudges the paper. The sparrow holding an apricot branch on the painting has lost its wings, turning into a streak of black ink. That's the picture we draw after winter comes. Every day, when it's not yet dawn, I wake up and watch the sparrow perch on a tree branch outside the window to draw. I painted for forty-nine days, only painting for one moment each day, because the morning light is only the most beautiful in that moment. Mother heard the noise and ran over. As soon as she saw the eldest sister sitting on the ground picking up paper, she immediately turned to glare at me:
“Vong Nguyen, you made me angry again, right?”
I picked up another page of pictures.
"Do not have."
"Do not have?"
Mother walked over, looked at the pages lying on the ground and frowned.
"It's just a few pictures, is it worth it for my sister to have to bend down and pick them up for me?"
Ky Minh Chau stood up, brushed the dust off her dress and gently took her mother's arm:
"Mother, I was bad and accidentally dropped my sister's painting book. A Nguyen has been drawing for a long time, and I also feel guilty."
Her mother patted her hand gently:
“That's me, always talking to help him.”
Then, she turned to me, her voice fading a bit:
"Vong Nguyen, my sister was just a little hasty, with no bad intentions. I'm younger than her, so I have to give in to her more."
I nodded. That night, I buried the broken picture book under the old eucalyptus tree in the garden.
02
When I was fifteen years old, my great-grandmother took charge and planned a marriage for me. The opponent is the son Lang Nghien of the Lang family in Giang Nam. The Lang family has been an official for many generations, and two ancestors once held the position of Emperor. Although not the most prominent family, it is still a noble family. The mother-in-law said that the son of the Lang family had a gentle personality and the rules in the house were not too strict. After marrying there, I won't have to bear the pain. I secretly looked at that portrait once. The person in the painting has delicate eyebrows, bright eyes, and a smile at the corners of his lips, looking like a gentle gentleman. I folded the picture and put it under my pillow. That night, I couldn't sleep, like there was a warm little sparrow nestling in my heart. But not long after, on the day the Lang family went to the capital to discuss the marriage, Ky Minh Chau had just returned from the horse racetrack. She wore a red dress, her hair was a bit messy, sweat was on her forehead, and she burst into the lobby smiling. Lang Nghien is drinking tea. He raised his head, his eyes suddenly stopped. I sat behind the screen, through the thin layer of cotton I saw his profile face. He tilted his head slightly, his eyes chasing the figure in red, like a sunflower always facing the sun. At that moment, I tightened my sleeves. In my sleeve, I hid a scented bag that I stayed up late to make. The scented bag is embroidered with twin lotus flowers, each needle and thread is even very thick and neat. I had to stay up seven nights straight to finish it. In the end, that scented bag was not given away. A month later, the Lang family sent someone to cleverly express that they wanted to change their relationship to their eldest sister.
“Little Miss and Miss Ky just met and hit it off…”
The mother of the Lang family smiled appreciatively:
“After all, they are all girls from the Ky family, how does the old lady feel…”
The grandmother was angry and threw the tea cup. Father remained silent all night, and the next morning he went to the study to meet his grandmother. I don't know what you two said. I only know that from that day on, my grandmother never mentioned anything about the Lang family again. Mother came to find me, held my hand, her eyes were red:
"A Nguyen, your sister has a stubborn personality. Once you decide what's going on, nine buffaloes can't pull you back."
"He said that as soon as he saw Young Master Lang, he felt joy in his heart... Mother also knows that this matter makes me suffer, but she is my sister, and she was the one who spoke first..."
She spoke first. I have heard those four words countless times in my entire life. She spoke first, wanting that box of Long Tinh tea. She spoke first, saying she wanted to learn the piano, so he taught her alone. Now, she spoke first, saying that she liked Lang Nghien, so my marriage also became hers. I withdrew my hand and said softly:
“Okay.”
Mother was stunned, perhaps she didn't expect me to agree so easily. She opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something, and finally just patted my shoulder:
“A Nguyen is the most understanding person.”
Understand the story. I returned to the room, closed the door, leaned against the door, and slowly slid down to sit on the ground. The ground was cold, the cold air penetrated through my clothes and into my skin, like the feeling when I knelt in the garden to pick up picture pages that winter. I don't cry. I just thought, if I don't understand things like that, will people see me? I took out the portrait from under my pillow and opened it to look at it for a moment. The person in the painting has a gentle smile, like the March wind in Jiangnan. I looked at it for a long time, so long that my eye sockets were stinging but I still couldn't shed a single tear. After that, we fold the picture and put it back in the box. Three days later, Ky Minh Chau's bride price was brought by the Lang family, filling an entire yard. Mother held elder sister's hand, so happy that she didn't know what to do, continuously muttering:
“This is good, this is good.”
I stood in the hallway, looking at each red-painted chest. The sunlight shone on the chest, so bright it hurt my eyes. I don't know when my great-grandmother came to my side. She didn't say anything, just held my hand. That hand was old and thin, but the palm was still warm. I turned my head back. Grandmother looked at me, her cloudy eyes contained a watery sheen.
“Vong Nguyen.”
She said softly:
“The ancestors are still here.”
The bridge of my nose is stinging. Finally, I couldn't hold it in anymore and tears fell.
03
The day Ky Minh Chau appeared, the whole capital was shocked. The Lang family's wedding reception team stretched from the east to the west of the citadel. The sound of fireworks echoed throughout the long street. Mother cried uncontrollably, father's eyes turned red, constantly telling her to live well. Grandmother sat on the main throne, her expression calm. Only when the elder sister said goodbye did she slightly nod her head. I stand behind the crowd. When the flower palanquin was raised, Ky Minh Chau lifted the palanquin curtain and smiled from afar smile at me. The white jade hairpin in her hair is something my mother personally placed for me during the wedding ceremony. Mother once said:
"A Nguyen, this is something my great-grandmother left for me. Today, I pass it on to you."
That hairpin was only in my hair for less than an hour. Ky Minh Chau said he wanted to look closely and then take it away. After that, she never returned it again. The palanquin gradually moved away, and the sound of gongs and drums gradually diminished. The mother still leaned against the doorframe, wiping her tears, muttering:
"I wonder if Minh Chau is familiar with the Lang family's food... I heard that their chef likes to cook sweet dishes..."
Grandmother stood up from the main seat, walked in front of me and stuffed a small brocade box into my hand. I opened it and saw a pair of jade bracelets with a very beautiful water color. She lowered her voice, as if telling a secret:
"This is my great-grandmother's dowry. I keep it, waiting for the day of marriage."
I hold the brocade box tightly. The corner of the box pressed against the palm of my hand, causing sharp pain. The mother's cry still rang out behind her. In her heart, in her eyes, she only had the eldest daughter who had just gotten married, completely ignoring what her grandmother had given her. She also didn't see the tears swirling around my eye sockets, then I tried to swallow them back. That night, I locked the jade bracelets in the bottom compartment of the jewelry box.