Chapter 3 — The One Who Remembers Me Instead

I remember when I was seven years old, I stood outside my mother's room and heard my eldest sister naughtily demanding a little red horse. I remember when I was twelve years old, I knelt on the mud and picked up picture pages, and my mother frowned and said I had made my sister angry. I remember when I was fifteen years old, Lang Nghien's eyes passed me, chasing after that red shirt. I also remember every time I bowed my head and said "okay", something in my heart cooled little by little. Previously, we thought that was called understanding things. Now, we know that is called heartbreak.
06
After deciding on the marriage, my mother finally gave me a little attention. She took me to a silk shop to choose fabric for a wedding dress, and chose a bunch of light red brocade for me. I smoothed the pile of cloth. The fabric surface is smooth, slightly cold, and feels extremely comfortable. But I know, when Ky Minh Chau got married, she wore an authentic red wedding dress, with a hundred pomegranates embroidered with gold thread.
“This color suits you.”
Mother said:
"At that time, my sister used the official red color because her skin was white. My skin is a bit warm, so wearing light red will look better."
Perhaps she truly thinks so. I nodded:
“Okay.”
The mother chose some more jewelry and fabrics and ordered the servant to bring them to the Lang family for Ky Minh Chau.
“The girl wearing this moonlight white cloth will definitely look beautiful.”
The mother stroked the silk face, a smile appeared in her eyes:
“A few days ago he said he wanted a new silk cape, I still remember.”
I stood next to him, holding a bunch of light red brocade in my arms. The pattern on the fabric is a lotus flower wrapped around its branches. If you look closely, you will see that the stitching is a bit sparse. I stroked those threads, remembering the handkerchiefs I used to embroider when I was a child. My great-grandmother once praised my needlework for its thickness and delicate patterns. Mother just took a look and said:
“Not bad.”
After that, she immediately turned away to call Ky Minh Chau for dinner. After buying cloth and returning to the palace, the horse-drawn carriage passed by the door of the Lang family. Mother told the carriage driver to stop for a moment. She lifted the curtain and looked inside. Seeing a new lantern hanging on the gate, she smiled with satisfaction.
"Your sister is alive and well, I also feel secure."
Qi Du came from a family of martial artists, his palace was located in the north of the citadel, half the capital from the Lang family. Grandmother once said, a little distance is good.
07
During the time before I got married, I often went to my grandmother's hospital to sit. In the hospital there is an old cinnamon tree. Every autumn comes, the whole house is filled with sweet fragrance. I moved a small chair to sit under the tree and helped my grandmother sort the medicinal materials. The mother's knees are not good. Every time autumn and winter come, she has severe pain. I learned how to mix a type of plaster and apply it to her every day. Grandmother leaned back in her chair, closed her eyes and said:
"Vong Nguyen, the Qi family is not as simple as our family. Parents-in-law, sisters-in-law and the servants below all have to pay attention to everything."
"You have a soft personality. When it's time to be tough, you have to be tough."
"Yes."
I replied, still crushing the medicinal herbs. The mother-in-law was silent for a moment then said:
“If you can bear the pain, write a letter back.”
I raised my head. Grandmother opened her eyes, her cloudy eyes fell on my face. She knows she is old and cannot protect me any longer. So, we must learn how to protect ourselves. I poured the crushed medicinal ingredients into a silk bag, tied it tightly around my mouth, and placed it on my ancestor's knee:
“You go ahead assured."
Grandmother patted my hand gently. Her palm was rough but warm. That hand was thinner than before, the joints were protruding, like a dry branch. I squeezed her hand tightly but didn't say anything.
08
The day we sold was also an autumn day. The sky is high, the clouds are light, and in the wind there is still the scent of cinnamon flowers at the end of the season. The Qi family's palanquin arrived very early. The band of trumpets and drums outside the door blew loudly one after another. I sit in front of the dressing table. The face in the bronze mirror is covered with a thick layer of lipstick, and the lips are also painted. Lipstick color chosen by mother. She said this color is not too bright, it suits me very well. A white jade hairpin is gently placed in the hair. Is a role model. She stood behind me, her thin fingers pierced my hair and firmly installed the hairpin. In the bronze mirror, her slightly hunched figure was reflected. She looked at me in the mirror, the corners of her lips curled slightly.
“This brooch was passed down by my great-great-grandmother. My sister asked me several times but I didn't give her permission."
My eye sockets are hot. The sound of mother's footsteps came from outside the door. In her hand she held a bowl of red apple and lotus seed sweet soup. She smiled and brought:
"After you eat, go, it's a good omen."
I took the bowl and ate it piece by piece. The stewed lotus seeds are very soft, the red apple has also had its seeds removed, and the sweetness is just enough. Mother's workmanship is still as good as ever. She makes everything delicious. The only thing is, the dishes she makes the most are for her sisters. I finished the last bite and returned the empty bowl to her:
“Thank you, mother.”
Mother took the bowl and looked at me. There was rarely a hint of confusion on her face. It was like at this moment, she truly realized that her little daughter was about to get married. She opened her mouth, as if she wanted to say something, but in the end she forced out a single sentence:
“A Nguyen, when you come to Qi family, you must live well.”
"Yes."