Chapter 11 — Group Chat Without You

It looked up at me, blood red in its eyes.

“Because… because when I was with them, no one was looking after me.”

I was stunned.

“You take care of me too much, sister.”

“What to eat, what to wear, who to play with, what time to go home.”

“When I'm with them, I don't have to think about those things, it's just pure hanging out.”

Listening to what he said, my heart felt like it was lightly cut by something. It's right. Over the years, I have always considered him a child to be disciplined. Whether it comes from responsibility or habit, it's true that I manage it too much. But that's no reason for him to lie to me behind my back.

“To Trach, I feel like you control me too much, you can tell me frankly.”

"I'm afraid you'll be sad."

“So I chose to lie to you for two years, making you even more sad.”

He bowed his head and said nothing more. The water in the cup has cooled.

“Sister, I was wrong.”

“I know.”

“Can you forgive me?”

I looked at it. Nineteen years old. Still the age to do stupid things.

"I don't hate you. But for a short while, I don't want to see you."

He nodded and stood up. As he walked out the door, he turned around and looked at me.

“Sister, are you alone... is it safe?”

“Safe.”

“So I'm going home.”

“Yes. Go home.”

The door closed, I sat in a daze for a long time. He was the first to come and apologize. But I'm not sure if he really understands, or just because he's afraid of running out of money and having no one to borrow from. Whatever the reason, at least one step has been taken. At least one of those eight people was willing to stand up and face me. 09 The second week after To Trach left, I received an email. The sender is an unfamiliar email address. The title is *"Apology letter to Ms. To Niem"*. When I opened it, it was written by Phuong Hoai. The wording is extremely formal, like a company apology document. *"Hello Ms. To Niem, I am Phuong Hoai, I would like to express my deep apologies for my inappropriate behavior over the past two years."* *"The fact that I repeatedly coordinated with others in the chat group to conceal my social activities from you was due to personal wrong judgment, with no intention of hurting..."* There is a longer paragraph below. The general idea is "I didn't mean it", "I didn't think about the consequences at the time", "I hope you can accept my apology". I finished reading and closed the email, not replying a word. Even apologizing is like returning a lesson. On the third day, Chu Ham invited me out to eat. He sent three messages, but I didn't respond. Finally, he called directly.

“Nien Niem, I know you don't want to see me. But there are a few words I want to say in person, just for five minutes.”

I hesitated for a long time, then agreed. Let's meet at the milk tea shop under my company's house. When he arrived, his face was not very good, as if he had just cried, and as if he had not been able to sleep for several days. Sitting down, he took a deep breath.

“To Niem, I'm sorry.”

I used a straw to stir the glass of water without saying anything.

“That group... when Tran Du first formed it, I already felt it was not right.”

“But everyone is in there, I also... don't want to be left out.”

“So you chose to leave me out.”

He bit his lip tightly.

“Yes. I know it's very cowardly to say this.”

“But at that time I really thought like that — if I didn't follow along, the next person to be kicked out of the group would be me.”

I looked up at it. Its eyes are red hoe.

"I've been your best friend for four years, yet I followed them and lied to you for more than two years. I know it's too late to say anything now."

“You came to ask me to forgive you?”

“No.” He shook his head, "I just want to tell you, I know I did something very miserable. Not because you have a problem, but because I'm despicable."

The music in the milk tea shop is very soothing, like white noise in the background. I bowed my head and took a sip.

“Chu Ham, I ask you a question.”

“You ask.”