Chapter 9 — Group Chat Without You

The new house is very small, but clean. Every day when I come home from work, no one asks me what time I get home, nor does anyone force me to call management. On weekends, when she works part-time at a flower shop, Ms. Duong sometimes brings her daughter there. Five year old girl, extremely talkative. Just call me Niem Niem, cling to me and ask me to teach you how to fold paper roses. Life gradually takes on a new shape. Until the forty-third day. That day on the way home from work, I met Phuong Hoai at the subway station. He also saw me, hesitated a bit, then walked forward.

“To Niem.”

“Yes.”

“Long time no see.”

“Yes.”

He stood next to me, clearly having something to say but not knowing how to say it. The train arrived, I got into the car. He also followed in.

“To Niem and Tran Du are... not doing very well these days.”

I held my hand on the car ceiling, not looking at him.

“It has nothing to do with me.”

“I know you're angry.”

“But he really regrets it, he lost a dozen pounds this time, and there were problems at work—”

“Phuong Hoai.”

He fell silent.

“Do you remember what you said in that group?”

His face turned slightly red.

“I…”

“On May 1 last year, I asked Tran Du if we could go out together, he said you guys had a basketball tournament.”

“The chat history in the group is that you said *'Just say there's a tournament, she'll believe it'*.”

He lowered his head.

“To Niem, at that time... I didn't think that much.”

“Each of you doesn't think that much.” I said, “But cumulatively, it's more than two years.”

The train arrived at the station, I got off the bus. He doesn't follow anymore. When I got home, I sat on the sofa absentmindedly for a while. Phuong Hoai said Tran Du is not very good. Losing ten pounds, having problems at work. I rummaged through my feelings in my heart. There is a bit of sadness, but very faint. It's like seeing news about a stranger's misfortune in the newspaper — knowing it's bad, but it has nothing to do with you. This feeling made me confirm one thing. The love over the past four years has been real. But it's also really dead. The next morning when I arrived at the company, my colleague Tieu Ha ran to whisper in my ear: "Yesterday's plan of yours was seen by the department director. The boss praised you for your good work. Next week at the meeting, the boss will let you present." I paused for a second, then smiled.

“Okay, let me prepare.”

The plan to change jobs has been temporarily shelved. The new boss of the department is also more easy-going than before, and the project is also interesting. I decided to stay a little longer. At noon while going out to eat, I received a text message from an unknown number. *"To Niem, this is Ha Nam. Tran Du gave me your number, sorry for bothering you."* *"He asked me to pass on the message, he has deleted all the chat history in that group, everyone has apologized."* *"He wanted to ask if you could meet for a while."* I looked at that message and couldn't help but laugh out loud. Even when apologizing, you have to ask someone else to convey the words. Even when we meet, we have to ask our friends to text us. For four years now, the communication between him and I has always been separated by others. I texted back: *"No need. Thank you."* Ha Nam didn't text anything else. When he got off work that day, Tran Du finally called himself. I picked up the phone.

“To Niem.”

“Yes.”

“Can I see you for a moment?”

“What's wrong? Just say it.”

“Can't tell clearly over the phone…”

“You say it.”

He was silent for a moment, his voice a bit hoarse.

“That group... was created by me.”

My hand holding the phone tightened.

“Two years ago, after a gathering I made it.”

“That day I left early, everyone suddenly relaxed a lot, the atmosphere was extremely happy.”

"At that time I... felt that I could do that sometimes in the future."