Chapter 4 — Group Chat Without You

After seeing the house on Wednesday, I signed the contract on the spot. Deposit one month, pay three months rent in advance, Landlord asked to move in at the end of the month, just in line with my plan. I have two weeks to prepare. Within two weeks, I will completely disappear from Tran Du's life. Thursday afternoon, I was sitting at my desk cleaning up handover documents — I was also preparing to jump ship. Phone vibrates. Voice message from my younger brother, To Trach: "Sister, will you come for my birthday next week?"

“Where is the organization?”

"But at Mr. Tran Du's house, he said he would cook a tray of rice."

I bit my lip slightly.

“Who comes?”

“Well, you guys often hang out together, Phuong Hoai guys, and Chu Ham.”

You guys often play together. Eight people in that group. My younger brother's birthday was held at my boyfriend's house. The guests are the group of people who always leave me out. And he invited me to join, just because that place was also my home in name.

"I'm busy, I probably won't be able to come."

"Ah? What are you busy with? I only have one birthday this whole year."

“To Trach, I asked you.”

“Yes?”

“Since when are you and Tran Du so close?”

He was silent for two seconds, then laughed: "We've always been close, he's my brother-in-law." Brother-in-law. We're not married yet, he's already called brother-in-law.

“Okay, I will try to come.”

I hung up the phone, put my head down on my arms, and closed my eyes for a moment. To Trach was nineteen years old, in the chat group happily following everyone around to deceive me. He is my younger brother raised by me alone. When his parents divorced, he was only twelve years old, and he lived with me for three full years. I used to work two jobs at the same time to put him through high school, take him to the amusement park in the summer, and buy him a new puffy jacket in the winter. Since when did he start to feel that his sister was someone who needed to be avoided? Was it Tran Du who felt that way first? Or are they infecting each other's thoughts? Or maybe, things have always been like this, I just didn't know it before. 04 Friday night, To Trach's birthday. I still come. Not because of forgiveness, but because I want to see this group of people gathered together one last time. When I arrived, the living room was full of people. Tran Ngu is hanging around the kitchen helping to arrange food. Phuong Hoai and Ha Nam are sitting on the sofa playing games. Chu Ham sat next to the table eating tangerines. To Trach saw me and rushed forward: "Sister! You're here!" It smiled extremely brightly, as if nothing had ever happened. Perhaps in his eyes, it was true that nothing had ever really happened. Tran Du poked his head out from the kitchen: "Already here? Sit down, it's almost done." I sat down. Chu Ham gave me a tangerine: "Try it, it's very sweet." I take it. The whole table was talking and laughing, the atmosphere was very happy. I blend in there, like an old piece of furniture forgotten in a corner. If you're present, you're just there, no one notices, no one finds it offensive. While eating, Phuong Hoai blurted out: "It's my birthday next month, where are we going?" Tran Ngu continued: "The homestay area (a bit like a home party) was fine last year, or will we go there again this year?" Ha Nam said: "Okay, book early, it's very crowded on weekends." Chu Ham glanced at me, smiled and asked: "Nien Niem, what about you? Are you free next month?" Everyone poured in eyes looking at me. At that moment, I suddenly understood. They don't always hide it from me. Sometimes they will also invite me symbolically. Because what really makes them happy isn't whether I go or not. It's about knowing what to say, "I have something to do and can't go."

“Depends on the situation.”

“Okay, let's think about it later.” Chu Ham smiled as if a burden had been lifted.