Chapter 13 — Group Chat Without You

After a long time, he spoke: "To Niem, I've been thinking a lot lately."

“Yes.”

“The first few days after you left, I actually felt quite relieved.”

I looked at him. It seemed like he had to use a lot of strength to say this sentence.

“At first I was really relieved.”

“No need to argue, no need to explain, no need to face... those eyes of yours.”

I said nothing.

“Then one day when I came home from work, the house was dark.”

“I stood at the door trying to turn on the light, but suddenly realized I didn't know if the light switch was on the left or right.”

"I changed the position of that switch for you. After changing it, I told you, but at that time you didn't listen."

He paused for a moment.

“Starting from that day, every day I discovered something — these things were all done by you, that I had never paid attention to before.”

“The spice jars in the kitchen are arranged in order.”

“My shirts in the closet are hung by color from dark to light.”

“The bottom floor of the shoe cabinet has a desiccant bag.”

“I searched the whole house, everywhere there were traces of you, but you were no longer there.”

His voice was a bit hoarse.

“To Niem, it's not now that you regret it.”

"The first day you left I regretted it. I just didn't dare to tell you."

I couldn't help but shiver slightly.

“Why don't you dare?”

“Because I don't know how to say it.”

“The eyes you looked at me when you discovered that group... I've never seen eyes like that in my entire life.”

“It's not anger, it's much scarier than anger.”

“What is it?”

“It's like I finally confirmed something I've always suspected.”

“It's like I've known for a long time that I'm not welcome, I just don't want to admit it.”

My nose is a little stingy. Not because he's right. But because he said it so well. More than two years. Actually, it wasn't until that day that I started to feel uncomfortable. But a long time ago, I saw that it was not right. Every time we gather, everyone's topic always quickly turns to things I don't know. Every time someone suggests something, no one bothers to ask my opinion. When I talk, the atmosphere always pauses for a second or two. I always tell myself that it's because I think too much. It wasn't until the day I saw that group's name that I realized it wasn't that I thought much, but that they were always playing a game together without my knowledge.

“Tran Du, have you finished speaking yet?”

“Not yet.”

He took a deep breath.

“I disbanded that group, but I know that's not enough.”

"Phuong Hoai and the others have apologized, you know I don't care. The people I care about have never been them."

“So what is the person you care about?”

“It's you.” He looked straight at me, "It was I who chose them, and not you."

“To Niem, I have no right to ask you to come back.”

“I just want to let you know — that group name is wrong. Life without you is not fun at all.”

I stood quietly in place. He waited for a long time. I didn't say a word. Finally, he took half a step back, then two more steps back.

"I won't bother you anymore. In the future... if you need anything, you can find me."

He turned around and went in another direction. I watched his back disappear at the end of the street. Are not Chasing, not calling back. Standing for a long time, I walked towards the subway station. When I got to the ticket gate, my phone rang. Ms. Duong texted: *"There will be a new batch of eucalyptus leaves arriving tomorrow, I'll help you check the goods."* I replied: *"Yes."* The ticket gate opened, I quickly walked down to the station platform. The train entered. When the car door opened, I stepped inside. In the very warm carriage, there was a little girl sleeping on her mother's lap. I found a place to sit down and put my backpack on my lap. The phone vibrates again.