Chapter 5 — Paper Kite, Mirror Dream

The Fifth Princess beamed with excitement, her laughter ringing clearly through the pavilion.

"Our Empress Mother once mentioned that when my imperial brother accidentally drank rice wine instead of water as a little boy, he would answer any question put to him without the slightest hesitation, exactly as he is doing right now."

"Shen Youning, you truly possess formidable skills! You even managed to knock down the Crown Prince himself. Be sure to offer me plenty of guidance in the future! Ha ha ha..."

Once she had finished her amusement, Pei Qing and the eldest sister walked over. Everyone intended to guide Pei Xuan to a resting chamber. Yet the moment they stood up, they made a startling discovery... My hand was still locked tightly within his grasp. My face burned as if touched by fire.

"Your Imperial Highness the Crown Prince... this subject's hand..."

Pei Xuan's voice remained as tranquil as ever.

"Shen Ruoning, do not be afraid; I am holding your hand."

His words lacked both beginning and end, and not a soul could fathom what he meant. Pei Qing reached out, intending to pry his fingers loose. Yet Pei Xuan held on with unyielding tenacity, absolutely refusing to let go. In the end, I had no choice but to follow him into the room. Not until he lay down and drifted into a deep sleep did his hand finally loosen its grip. The Fifth Princess curled the corners of her lips into a smile and began shooing everyone away.

"There is no point in all of you standing here. You might as well return first. Once my imperial brother sleeps off the wine, he will be quite fine."

"Have no fear, this princess will take good care of Shen Youning."

The eldest sister still felt uneasy, originally intending to stay by my side. After a moment of thought, I urged her to return first and report to our parents so the two of them would not worry. Pei Qing cast several glances at the hand of Pei Xuan that was still holding mine. Then, his gaze shifted to the receding figure of the eldest sister. Hesitating for a brief moment, he spoke in a rushed tone:

"Shen Youning, I shall escort Wanhe Sister home first, and return shortly to fetch you."

With those words, he departed as well, leaving even the Fifth Princess to step outside. Gathering all my courage, I gazed at Pei Xuan in his slumber. He was so breathtakingly handsome... if he truly were to take monastic vows and become a monk, it would be an absolute tragedy. Yet even the Emperor and Empress themselves could not move his resolute heart. What hope could someone like me possibly have? Lost in these endless musings, I eventually slumped against the edge of the bed and drifted into sleep. ... When I opened my eyes, the sky had already darkened into the shadows of dusk. Pei Xuan was leaning against the headboard, his lowered gaze fixed upon the string of prayer beads in his left hand. I scrambled up in a flurry. Only then did I realize... his right hand had been pinned beneath my face the entire time, leaving a distinct, crimson imprint upon the back of his hand. My panic escalated instantly.

"Your Imperial Highness the Crown Prince, this subject has committed a grave breach of etiquette."

He shook his head ever so slightly.

"It is of no consequence."

"It is I who should apologize for my lack of propriety."

Upon stepping out of the princess's estate, Pei Qing happened to come hurrying over. He immediately pulled me toward his side, grumbling all the way:

"Shen Youning, I told you so. Anyone who forms a team with you is bound to encounter misfortune."

"You even managed to drag the Crown Prince into getting drunk."

"Do not go clinging to the imperial brother ever again. Come along, follow me home."

I puffed out my cheeks, yet found myself utterly unable to offer a rebuttal. This matter... truly was my own fault. Pei Qing then cast a glance toward Pei Xuan, speaking with unusual solemnity:

"Imperial Brother Crown Prince, Shen Youning has caused you no small amount of trouble today, and I hope you will be gracious enough to forgive her."

"You must still have many affairs to attend to. Allow me to escort Youning back."

Pei Xuan paused for a fraction of a second before offering a cool, indifferent reply:

"Very well."

... Along the homeward journey, Pei Qing lacked his usual playful banter. He asked with grave seriousness:

"Shen Youning, since when did you become acquainted with Pei Xuan?"

"Why on earth did he agree to team up with you today, and even drink on your behalf?"

I offered no elaborate explanation, merely shaking my head.

"I am not close to His Imperial Highness the Crown Prince."

"Perhaps... his heart was simply moved by kindness."

Pei Qing did not dwell on it further, letting out a mocking laugh.

"Indeed."

"This imperial brother of mine has never cared for the mortal world; day in and day out, all he desires is to take monastic vows and worship the Buddha."

"How could he possibly treat you with any special regard?"

"It must merely be his stirring of mortal compassion, seeing how pitiful you appeared and deciding to lend a hand."

"Shen Youning, you would do well to keep your distance from him in the future."

"I only hope he hurries off to become a monk."

I stared at him in utter astonishment.

"You actually hope His Imperial Highness the Crown Prince will become a monk?"

Pei Qing's gaze grew deep and unfathomable as the corners of his lips curled upward.

"Pei Xuan is the Empress's own flesh and blood."

"From the moment he drew breath, his destiny as Crown Prince was sealed."

"If he were no longer to serve as Crown Prince... then I, too, would finally have a chance to contend for the throne."

"Shen Youning."

"Do not tell me you wish to see me denied the throne?"

The person before my eyes suddenly felt entirely unfamiliar. I stood frozen, momentarily at a loss for how to respond. Seeing that I had been startled, Pei Qing broke into his usual, easygoing laugh.

"I was merely jesting."

"Did you actually believe it?"

With that, he seemed to recall something else.

"Ah, that is right."

"Imperial Consort instructed me to choose a future Princess Consort between you and Wanhe Sister."

"Tell me... whom do you suppose I should select?"

I remained silent. Yet he refused to let the matter drop, continuing his teasing pursuit:

"Shen Youning, why are you not speaking?"

"Even if you say nothing, I am well aware."

"When we were children, you declared quite loudly that you would surely marry me when you grew up."

"I even recall what you wrote to me... a formal proposal of marriage, no less."

"Ha ha ha, it is enough to make one die of laughter."

"Even as a child, you possessed not a shred of shame."

"Deep in your heart, you must be thinking that I am bound to marry you, are you not?"

Recalling those bygone years filled me with a mixture of mortification and wrath.

"That was only because you disregarded your own life to rescue me."

"I merely wished to repay the debt of saving my life."

"If you were not my savior... I would not care about you in the least!"

The smile upon Pei Qing's lips abruptly froze. Then, it slowly faded away. At that exact moment, the carriage came to a halt. I alighted... and returned to my dwelling. ... Just a few days later, the Empress summoned both the eldest sister and me into the inner palace for a conversation. As fortune would have it, Pei Qing and his birth mother, Imperial Consort Shu, were also present. The Empress's gaze swept past me before lingering upon Pei Xuan for a few moments, and she spoke in a gentle tone:

"Youning, this palace heard from the Fifth Princess that during the poetry gathering the other day, Xuan'er drank until he was intoxicated on your account, and even held your hand without ever letting go."

"Ever since he turned seven years old, Xuan'er has never touched a single drop of wine. This palace has been exceedingly curious as to how he behaves when in his cups. Youning, recount the details for this palace to hear."

I cast an awkward, sideways glance toward Pei Xuan. He remained as serene as ever, his expression entirely devoid of change.

"Replying to Her Majesty the Empress, it was merely because this subject's poetic skill was so utterly dismal that it implicated His Imperial Highness the Crown Prince."