Chapter 6 — Paper Kite, Mirror Dream

The intoxicated demeanor of His Royal Highness the Crown Prince was, well, remarkably obedient and profoundly endearing. It bore no resemblance to my own father, who invariably became excessively loquacious whenever he was in liquor.

Pei Xuan offered a soft, restrained cough. The Empress burst into a melodious laugh, her gaze lingering upon him laden with deep significance.

I truly had no inkling that my Xuan-er possessed such a facet to his character.

It would appear that Xuan-er regards you with utmost singularity.

At that precise juncture, Pei Pei stepped forward with a chuckle, interrupting the exchange. Your Majesty the Empress, I beg of you to pay no heed to Shen Wan's idle chatter. It is glaringly obvious that she is the one perpetually clinging to the Crown Prince. His Imperial Highness has ever been devoted to the Buddhist path, and his actions stem entirely from a compassionate heart; seeing her in such a pitiful light, he merely extended a helping hand.

Those mortifying words made me desperately wish to vanish into the floorboards. I bit my lower lip, casting my gaze downward. The gentle smile gracing the Empress's lips visibly faded. Consort Shu, well aware that the Empress harbored a deep aversion to anyone bringing up the Crown Prince's ascetic devotion, sensed the sudden chill in the atmosphere and swiftly pivoted to another topic.

How wonderfully coincidental this all is. I was actually in the process of selecting a Crown Princess for Pei Pei. He and the two daughters of Grand Preceptor Shen grew up side by side. I venture to guess that the one who has captured his affection must undoubtedly be one of these two sisters. Pei Pei, why not settle this matrimonial alliance today, and request Her Majesty the Empress to bestow the imperial decree upon you both right now?

Pei Pei's eyes flared with sudden brilliance. Instinctively, his gaze sought out the eldest sister. Wan-er, my elder sister...

Yet before the words could fully leave his lips, the elder sister sank gracefully to her knees. I am profoundly grateful for Your Highness Consort Shu's immense favor. It is simply that this humble maiden's marriage has already been arranged a few days ago.

Consort Shu registered genuine astonishment. Oh? I wonder which young gentleman's family managed to move with such remarkable swiftness?

It is this year's top-ranking imperial scholar, Xu Ruoqing. In a few days' time, he will formally come to the Shen household to propose marriage.

Consort Shu emitted a gentle, wistful sigh. What a profound pity.

Pei Pei hastily concealed the sudden flash of desolation upon his features before pivoting to fix his gaze upon me. Elder sister Wan-er finding a harmonious and blessed match is a joyous occasion. Therefore, I choose Shen Wan. From our earliest childhood, she has ceaselessly insisted that she would unquestionably marry me. This conveniently fulfills her deepest desire. Shen Wan, you must be overflowing with joy right now, are you not?

Yet... I felt not a single shred of happiness. The person Pei Pei truly favored was the eldest sister. It was solely because she had already bestowed her heart upon another that he retreated a single step and selected me. It mirrored countless instances from our past—the object of his genuine desire was perpetually rejected time and time again, and only when all hope utterly shattered would he reluctantly, with an air of profound aversion, toss the remaining option in my direction. I was never a maiden devoid of pride. It was merely because of my persistent, foolish delusion that Pei Pei and I harbored mutual affections that I deliberately glossed over every single detail that grated upon my soul. Having finally perceived the stark reality, I no longer desired to serve as anyone's secondary choice.

That will not do. I, too, possess someone who holds my heart.

Pei Pei's entire frame froze instantly. His reaction was far more ferocious than when he had learned of the elder sister's engagement.

Shen Wan! What utter nonsense are you spouting?!

Pei Pei stubbornly refused to believe my words. He interrogated me relentlessly, pressing forward without pause: Shen Wan, where on earth did you conjure this supposed paramour of yours? Aside from myself, what other man have you ever deigned to interact with? Is this merely a lingering fit of temper because I failed to shoot down your paper kite the other day? Did I not explicitly state that the next time, I shall most assuredly keep my eyes fixed intently upon it? We have reached this critical juncture; cease this childish petulance at once!

I instantly fired back in sharp defiance: I am not throwing a tantrum; I genuinely possess someone I hold dear in my heart. I harbor no desire whatsoever to wed you.

Having suffered consecutive rejections in rapid succession, Consort Shu's countenance grew exceedingly dark and forbidding. Shen Wan. Then pray tell, which noble household's young gentleman is the one residing in your heart? When shall he arrive at your estate to seek your hand in marriage?

The one residing in my heart... was an absolute fabrication of my own making. Ever since my eighth year, my heart had accommodated no one save Pei Pei. Now that the space had been forcibly swept clean... there had yet been insufficient time for another soul to inhabit it. A fleeting vision of Pei Xuan materialized within the deepest recesses of my mind, only to be instantly cast aside by my own frantic denial. He was so transcendent, so utterly untainted by mortal flaws... I feared he would only harbor an even deeper abhorrence toward me. Observing my prolonged hesitation and inability to utter a coherent response, Consort Shu raised her voice, dripping with frost:

Shen Wan. To dare utter such reckless untruths in the very presence of Her Majesty the Empress—did your esteemed father never instruct you in the grave crime of deceiving the sovereign?

The Empress spoke in a soothing, gentle tone to mediate: Consort Shu, let loose your anger. It is entirely commonplace for youths to bicker amongst themselves; it has scarcely escalated to such grave proportions. However... whether we ought to bestow an imperial marriage decree upon Pei Pei and Wan-er is a matter upon which I must yet consult a particular individual.

She pivoted gracefully to fix her gaze upon Pei Xuan. Xuan-er. What are your thoughts? Does Your Highness believe I should grant the marriage decree for these two?

Both Consort Shu and Pei Pei were struck dumb with astonishment. Their eyes widened in profound shock as they swung their gazes toward Pei Xuan, utterly bewildered as to why such a matter necessitated seeking his counsel. Pei Xuan remained seated with immaculate posture, his eyelids lowered as though entirely submerged within a private realm of his own, seemingly oblivious to the entirety of the preceding conversation. Abruptly summoned by the Empress, he fell into a prolonged silence before finally delivering his reply:

Destiny is decreed by the heavens. All things in existence possess their own causes and effects. However Her Majesty chooses to determine this, this unworthy son shall not presume to interfere.

Is that truly so?

Pei Xuan offered no response. The Empress continued to fixate her steady gaze upon him, her voice unhurried and deliberate: Very well. It would appear that Xuan-er genuinely harbors no concern whatsoever regarding whom Wan-er ultimately weds. Pei Pei and the young maiden have been childhood sweethearts since their youth. This may well be regarded as a most fitting union. Since that is the case... Then this palace shall issue the imperial—

With each measured pause in the Empress's delivery... my heart steadily climbed higher until it lodged firmly within my throat. Could it be... was she genuinely about to decree my marriage? Had she not previously declared her intention to grant Pei Xuan a full half-year to remain by my side? Or perhaps... had she concluded that I possessed utterly no lingering hope, and thus abandoned that initial design?

Issue the—

Right before the final syllable could pass her lips... Pei Xuan abruptly surged to his feet. The brow, perpetually smooth and unruffled, knitted together in a tight crease, and even his voice had entirely shed its prior tranquility.

Imperial Mother. This son submits that this matter warrants further deliberation. Since the Shen maiden is unwilling... Imperial Mother ought not to force a decree of marriage upon her.

A triumphant smile instantly bloomed across the Empress's face. She even directed a covert, conspiratorial wink in my direction. The countenance of Pei Pei, which had previously radiated utter certainty, froze instantly, plunging into a profound, suffocating darkness within the span of a breath.