Chapter 19 — The First Heartbeat

Minh Vu, meanwhile, is also going through his own days of torment. He didn't understand why Thien Kim suddenly became so distant, after everything the two of them had built together in the past four months. He knew clearly that the incident in the cafeteria had deeply hurt her, but he did not expect it to make her withdraw completely from both him and the club in such a decisive way.

He went to Ms. Hoa for advice, sitting in the medical room on a deserted afternoon after school. "Auntie, I don't know what to do anymore," he said, his voice full of confusion and worry. "I tried texting, tried coming to the house, but Thien Kim kept avoiding me. I'm afraid the more I try to approach, the worse I'll make things."

Ms. Hoa listened attentively, then sighed softly. "You know, sometimes the people who are hurting the most are the hardest to reach, because they are afraid of facing their own pain reflected through the eyes of others," she said. "Thien Kim is not avoiding you because you did something wrong, but because she is avoiding her own sense of shame. But you need to be careful, because every action you take, even if it comes from good intentions, can be interpreted in a negative direction by her if you are not skillful."

"So what should I do?" Minh Vu asked, his voice full of confusion, a rare state for him, who always appeared calm and knew how to handle every situation.

"I think, sometimes the best way is not to try to push, but to wait patiently, and at the same time let her know that you are still there, not going anywhere," Ms. Hoa advised. "But I also understand, it's a very difficult balance, especially when you're also worried and have your own feelings about this."

That advice, although correct, is more difficult to implement than Minh Vu thought. On Wednesday, when she saw Thien Kim sitting alone in the cafeteria at lunchtime - rare because she usually avoided the cafeteria since the incident, but that day Tuyet Mai was busy with class so she had to sit alone - Minh Vu, with the good intention of showing her that he still cared, brought a tray of food to sit across from her without asking first.

"I think, maybe we should talk frankly," he said, his voice trying to be gentle but somewhat rushed, lacking his usual sophistication. "I don't want you to keep avoiding me like this. If you need anything, just tell me, don't keep it to yourself."

But for Thien Kim, right when she was trying to eat alone in silence to avoid facing anyone, Minh Vu's sudden and direct appearance, right in the middle of the crowded cafeteria - the same place where she had frozen in front of hundreds of people just a few weeks ago - was like an unwanted shock. She felt like all eyes in the cafeteria were focused on their table, even though in reality most of them weren't paying attention.

"I don't want to talk about this here," she said, her voice tense, her eyes glancing around nervously. "Sorry, I have to go."

She stood up quickly, almost leaving the meal unfinished, leaving the cafeteria before Minh Vu's confused and hurt eyes. He sat there alone, feeling completely defeated in his last attempt, not understanding what he did wrong by simply wanting to show he cared.

That night, he texted and apologized: "I'm sorry that I didn't think carefully before coming to meet you there this afternoon. I just want you to know I still care." But when he received no response for hours, Minh Vu's anxiety gradually turned into a feeling of helplessness, and in a moment of thoughtlessness, he decided to try a different approach — more openly, hoping to reach her.

He posted a short article on the club's internal social networking site, where all members are members, writing about "the importance of not giving up after a defeat, no matter how painful that defeat is", along with a paragraph mentioning that "some members who are having difficulties need encouragement and support from the whole team". Even without mentioning names directly, most club members, who knew what happened in the cafeteria, immediately understood who the article was talking about.

When Tuyet Mai sent Thien Kim the link to that article along with the message "Have you seen this?", Thien Kim read it with a dumbfounded feeling completely different from what Minh Vu expected. Instead of feeling encouraged, she felt exposed, turned into a topic of public discussion in front of the entire club, even though no one called her by name.

"He posted an entire post about his story on the public group?" she whispered, her hands trembling as she held the phone. "How could he do that?"

She didn't know that, in fact, Minh Vu tried to write that article as discreetly as possible, deleting countless previous drafts for fear of being too obvious, and his only purpose was to create a safe space where the whole club encouraged each other to overcome difficulties, not just Thien Kim. But in her extremely sensitive, hurt state, she could only see it as a betrayal, an act that made public her most private shame.

She texted Minh Vu, the first time after many days of silence, but it was not a conciliatory message as he hoped: "I hope you don't mention my story in front of the whole club anymore. I need my own time and space." That short, cold message left Minh Vu stunned, reading it over and over again, trying to understand what happened, why his good intentions were understood in a completely different way.

"I'm sorry," he texted back immediately. "I didn't mean that, I just wanted..." But he stopped mid-sentence, deleting the message, realizing that any explanation now could make things worse. He typed back a more concise sentence: "I understand. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. I won't mention it again."

After that message, the two fell into a long silence, each carrying a different version of misunderstanding about the other - Thien Kim believed that Minh Vu had lost patience, openly considering her a burden to the team; Minh Vu believes he did something that hurt Thien Kim so deeply that he no longer wanted to contact him, even though he didn't fully understand what it was.

The gap between the two of them, which had widened since the incident in the cafeteria, was now getting deeper and deeper, like a crack on thin ice, widening a little more with each passing day, threatening to completely collapse the relationship that the two had worked so hard to build over the past four months.

Phong, the club's communications manager and the person who read Minh Vu's article before he posted it, found Minh Vu that weekend and saw his friend sitting absent-mindedly alone in the corner of the basketball court, a place usually empty of people late on Saturday afternoons. "Are you okay?" Phong asked, sitting down next to him.

"I don't know what I'm doing wrong," Minh Vu admitted, his voice unusually tired. "I just want to help Thien Kim, but it seems like everything I do makes the situation worse."

"Have you considered that maybe what he needs is not for you to try harder, but for you to take a step back?" Phong said, his voice straightforward. "I don't know much about love, but I've noticed that every time you proactively approach him, he backs away even more. Could it be that you're unintentionally creating more pressure, even though the intention is the opposite?"

Minh Vu remained silent, pondering that comment. He had always prided himself on his ability to read other people's emotions, on his composure in handling any situation — but this time, precisely because this was something directly related to his own emotions, he realized he had lost his usual clarity, acting on his nervous instincts instead of thinking clearly like he advised others to do in first aid situations.

"Maybe you're right," Minh Vu said, his voice low. "I thought, if I tried harder to prove that I was still here, he would feel more secure. But sometimes, it made him feel pressured and watched, right when he most needed some space to face his fears on his own."

"What about the upcoming certificate exam?" Phong asked, mentioning another real issue hanging in the balance. "Is he attending the review session this weekend?"

"I don't know," Minh Vu replied, a new worry mixed with the existing sadness. "He doesn't respond to messages about the review schedule anymore. I'm afraid, if this continues, he will miss the exam, after everything he has tried for the past four months."

That thought made Minh Vu even more restless, but he also realized that Phong's advice made sense - perhaps it was time for him to learn to step back, let Thien Kim find her own way back, instead of continuing with clumsy efforts that, despite coming from sincere feelings, accidentally pushed her further away every time he tried to pull her closer.