Chapter 22 — The First Heartbeat

Friday morning, Thien Kim arrived at school earlier than usual, her heart pounding with excitement and determination. She had texted Minh Vu the night before, a longer message than she had sent in the past two weeks: "Can you meet me in the infirmary after school today? I want to talk to you, honestly, about everything."

Minh Vu replied almost immediately: "Okay, I will wait for you there."

The entire school day that day passed uncomfortably slowly for Thien Kim. She tried to focus on the lecture, but her mind kept returning to what she had prepared to write down last night, worrying whether she would have the courage to say everything, or would back down like she had so many times in the past two weeks.

When school ended, Thien Kim went straight to the infirmary, her hand shaking slightly as she placed it on the door handle. She took a deep breath, remembered everything Minh Vu had taught her about staying calm in a difficult situation, then pushed the door open and walked in.

Minh Vu was there, sitting in a familiar chair, standing up as soon as he saw her enter, his eyes both worried and full of hope. "You're here," he said, his voice gentle, trying not to put any more pressure on her.

"I'm sorry for avoiding you for the past two weeks," Thien Kim began, her voice shaking but she tried to keep it seamless, just like she had rehearsed last night. "You need to tell me something, the whole story, not just what you've said before."

Minh Vu nodded, sat down, motioned for her to sit in the chair opposite, not in a hurry, not interrupting, just waiting quietly with his familiar patience.

"Three years ago, when I was fifteen, I babysat my cousin, little Bin, then three years old," Thien Kim began, her voice gradually becoming more certain as the words poured out, like a dam that had been held back for so long was now opened. "My parents and aunt and uncle went to a wedding, and I was the only one at home to look after the baby. The baby was eating a piece of fruit when he suddenly choked, couldn't cough, and his face turned purple. I stood there, completely standing there, unable to do anything, even though I had watched a few instructional videos on how to handle choking foreign objects before."

She continued to tell about the neighbor who promptly ran to save baby Bin, and about the feeling of extreme humiliation and helplessness as she watched a stranger do what she, the one who was looking after her younger brother, could not do. But this time, unlike the previous times, she did not stop there.

"But there's a part of the story I've never told anyone, not even Tuyet Mai," she continued, her voice starting to tremble more. "After baby Bin was saved, everyone told me that it was okay, that I was still young, no need to blame myself. But my uncle and aunt, even though they didn't say it directly, I could still feel the disappointment in their eyes every time it was mentioned, many months later. One time, I overheard him say to my aunt: 'In the future, I probably won't dare ask her to look after me again.' That sentence, even though it wasn't said to me directly, has haunted me for the past three years."

Tears began to flow down Thien Kim's cheeks, but she continued, as if determined to say everything no matter how painful. "Since then, I'm not only afraid of freezing in an emergency situation anymore. I'm afraid of becoming an unreliable person, someone who makes people important to me lose trust. That's why when I froze in the cafeteria two weeks ago, I not only felt ashamed of myself, but I also immediately thought that you, Ms. Hoa, the whole club, would look at me the same way my aunt and uncle looked at me three years ago."

Minh Vu listened to every word, his eyes filled with sadness and understanding, but he still patiently did not interrupt, letting her say everything she needed to say.

"And when you asked Ms. Hoa to move me to the bandaging station, when you posted that article in the group," Thien Kim continued, her voice choked up, "I thought, that was the proof, that you were starting to look at me that way too — as someone who was no longer trustworthy. I know it sounds silly now, but at that time, in my mind, every action of yours was interpreted in the worst way."

Minh Vu was silent for a moment, letting her words sink in, then he spoke, his voice gentle but full of sincerity. "Thien Kim, I want you to know, I never, even for a second, thought that you were an unreliable person. My request to change stations was not at all because I lost faith in you. I was just afraid that if I forced you to immediately face the exact situation that hurt you, it could make your psychological wound even deeper. I thought wrong, I should have talked to you directly first, instead of through Ms. Hoa."

"And the post on the public group..." he continued, sounding somewhat embarrassed. "I'm sorry for that. I just wanted the whole club to encourage each other, not just you, but I didn't think carefully about how it might make you feel exposed in front of everyone. That was a mistake on my part, not because I thought badly of you, but because I was too worried, too confused, and didn't know the best way to help you."

Thien Kim looked up at him, feeling a huge burden being gradually lifted from her shoulders. "So... you don't think I'm a burden?" she asked, her voice still filled with lingering skepticism.

"Never," Minh Vu replied immediately, his voice firm without any hesitation. "Thien Kim, you are one of the strongest people I have ever known. Not because you are never afraid, but because you always dare to face that fear, no matter how big it is. The fact that you froze in the cafeteria does not erase everything you have done in the past four months. It just shows that you are still human, still have limitations, just like all of us."

Those words, combined with the sincerity evident in Minh Vu's eyes, made Thien Kim unable to hold back any longer. She burst into tears, not because of pain, but because of a deep feeling of relief, as if a giant boulder she had been carrying on her shoulders for the past three years had now finally been put down, at least partially.

Minh Vu, without hesitation, stepped closer, gently hugged her, let her cry in his arms, without saying anything else, simply being present, showing her that she was not alone in this vulnerable moment.

"Thank you," Thien Kim whispered after her crying subsided, still standing in his warm arms. "Thank you for being patient with me, even when I pushed you away."

"I will always be patient with you," Minh Vu replied, his voice gentle. "Because I know, behind that fear, is someone worth waiting for."

They sat down again, this time the distance between the two chairs was much closer than at the beginning of the conversation. Thien Kim dried her tears with her sleeve, feeling an incredible relief spread throughout her body, as if she had just taken off a heavy armor that she had been carrying for the past three years without even realizing it.

"I have one more thing to say," she continued, her voice somewhat calmer. "About the certification exam. I thought about quitting the exam and quitting the club altogether. I'm afraid, if I continue, the freezing thing will happen again, and the next time it might be worse, maybe someone will really be in danger because I can't do anything."

Minh Vu listened and nodded slowly. “I understand that fear,” he said. "But I want to ask you a question, the same way Ms. Hoa asked me after the drowning man last year — if you weren't there when what happened to the kid in the cafeteria, what do you think would have happened?"

Thien Kim paused, thinking about that question. "The gym teacher took care of it," she replied, a bit confused and not understanding what he meant.

"Yes, luckily there was a teacher nearby that day, and he handled it promptly," Minh Vu said. "But think about it, there isn't always someone nearby who knows that technique. The fact that you froze in that moment, even though it was painful, didn't make the situation worse, because someone else intervened in time. But if you quit the club, quit this path of learning first aid, do you think, in the future, how many situations will there be in the future where you, with all the skills you have and will learn, could be the only person there to help? Giving up now is not a guarantee. You can't protect anyone, including yourself."

Those words touched a deep corner of Thien Kim's mind, making her look at the whole problem from a completely different perspective. She had always thought about giving up as a way to protect herself from further failure, but she had never considered that giving up would also mean giving up the ability to help others in the future — the ability she had worked so hard to build over the past four months.

"I never thought of it that way," she said, her voice thoughtful. "I kept thinking, if I'm not perfect, it's best for me to withdraw, so as not to put anyone else at risk."

"That's what I want you to understand," Minh Vu said, his eyes steady. "No one asks you to be perfect to stay. They just need you to be willing to try, willing to learn from failures. The exam is still there in four days, you still have time to prepare, and the whole club is still waiting for you to come back."

Thien Kim nodded, a new determination gradually dawned in her heart, different from the despair that had enveloped her for the past two weeks. "I'll take the test," she said, her voice more decisive. "And I'll be back at the club, from practice this weekend."