Chapter 3 — The One Who Once Was My Light

My father is killing me...

My voice was barely a whisper, instantly swallowed by the roaring rain.

What did you say? Speak up!

I gathered every remaining ounce of strength and screamed at the top of my lungs:

Save me!

Are you out of your mind? Moon is in a bad mood, and I am out here watching the sunrise with her! What kind of pathetic stunt are you pulling for attention this time? Self-harm? Let me tell you, it is completely useless!

Click. Click. Click.

He hung up. I clutched the phone tightly, lying motionless in the freezing, torrential rain. Despair washed over me like a relentless tide, threatening to drown my soul. The heavy wooden cane continued to strike my body, blow after blow. Yet, I could no longer feel the pain. Staring blankly at the pitch-black sky, a solitary thought crossed my mind: If I die tonight, would Lu Nian even care? Would his heart ache, even just a little bit? Probably not. Right now, he was entirely absorbed in the company of his beloved Moon, waiting to witness the most breathtaking sunrise in the world. I slowly closed my eyes and slipped completely into unconsciousness.

When I finally regained consciousness, the sterile smell of a hospital room surrounded me. Fang Qi sat beside my bed, her eyes red and swollen from crying.

You are finally awake?

I tried to shift my weight, and agony flared through my entire body. My right hand, in particular, felt as though it had been severed from my arm. With a hoarse voice, I asked:

Why am I here?

Uncle Lee could not shake his uneasy feeling in the middle of the night, so he came back to check on you, Fang Qi explained, her voice trembling. He found your father beating you mercilessly, called the police, and rushed you here.

I remained silent.

The doctor said you have three fractured ribs, your right wrist is severely shattered, and you have extensive soft tissue contusions all over your body.

Fang Qi choked out the words as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks.

Ning Ning, why are you so foolish? Why did you never tell me the truth sooner?

I looked down at my right arm, encased in a thick, unyielding cast. Severed. Tomorrow morning was the college entrance examination. How on earth was I supposed to write?

Where is my father? I asked.

He has been arrested. Intentional assault—that charge will be more than enough to make him regret his actions.

And where is Lu Nian?

Fang Qi hesitated for a moment before answering:

He does not know.

I called him.

I know, Fang Qi said, pulling her phone from her pocket. When I came to visit you this morning, I saw this on his social media feed.

She handed the device to me. It was a post made by Nguyen Moon at five o'clock that morning. A single photograph. Lu Nian and she sat side by side on a sandy beach, the golden sun just beginning to crest the horizon behind them. The caption read: He promised to watch every sunrise in the world with me. Beneath the post, Lu Nian had left a like. I stared blankly at the screen for a long time before handing the phone back to Fang Qi.

I understand.

Fang Qi looked at me, words hanging hesitantly on her lips.

Ning Ning, you...

The national exam is tomorrow. Please help me ask Uncle Lee for a leave of absence.

Leave? What are you planning to do? Look at your hand...

I am going to take the exam.

Fang Qi stared at me in disbelief.

Have you lost your mind? Look at the state you are in, how do you expect to write?

I have to go, no matter what.

That recommendation slot had been my only glimmer of hope for escaping this living hell. Now, that hope was completely gone. The college entrance examination was all I had left. If I gave up on this exam as well, I would truly have nothing left in this world.

But your hand...

I still have my left hand.

With that, I closed my eyes. Fang Qi opened her mouth to argue further, but ultimately swallowed her words, realizing my mind was made up. The following day, she helped me complete the hospital discharge procedures and hired a car to take me directly to the testing center. I wore my oversized school uniform, using the long sleeve to conceal the heavy white cast on my right arm. As I walked through the gates and into the examination hall, countless eyes fell upon me. My complexion must have looked terrifyingly pale. Even the proctor checking my admission ticket lingered, giving me a worried, questioning look.

Student, are you feeling unwell?

No, I am fine.

I located my designated desk and sank into the chair. A blinding wave of pain shot through my right arm, feeling as though thousands of sharp needles were piercing my flesh simultaneously. Yet, I could not afford to show any weakness. The bell signaling the start of the exam rang out. I pulled out my pen and forced myself to begin. Naturally, I was left-handed. When I was a child, my father had beaten me repeatedly for using my left hand to write, convinced that left-handedness was a shameful curse. Over the years, I forced myself to write and eat with my right hand to appease him. In front of the world, I had always acted right-handed. Only I knew that my left hand remained far more agile and natural. Paper after paper, subject after subject, cold sweat drenched my back with every passing hour. My right wrist felt as though it had been ground to dust and forcibly reconstructed. Every single breath pulled painfully at my fractured ribs. Clenching my teeth, I endured until the very end. When the final bell rang, I walked out of the testing building into the brilliant afternoon sunlight. Outside, students were cheering, embracing one another, and celebrating their newfound freedom. I walked slowly down the path alone. My phone vibrated; it was a call from Lu Nian. I pressed accept. His voice sounded weary and strained.

Where are you?

At the gates of the testing center.

What is it? Are you calling to watch me make a fool of myself?

That is not what I meant, he paused. I heard that your father... attacked you again?

You certainly get your news quickly.

Where are you now? I am coming to find you. Your hand... I heard about it from Fang Qi.

A heavy trace of guilt laced his tone.

There is no need, I said coldly.

What do you mean, no need? Thang Ning, let us talk.

There is nothing left to talk about.

Are you still throwing a tantrum over the recommendation slot? I admit, I handled that poorly, and I apologize. But you cannot hold a grudge and try to punish me this way, can you? I heard you actually used your left hand to write the exam papers...

I stopped dead in my tracks.

You actually believe I am throwing a tantrum?