Chapter 4 — The One Who Once Was My Light

What else could it be? You know very well how much I value your college entrance exam. Are you using this method to take revenge on me?

I curled my lips into a bitter sneer, and two streams of hot tears broke free, tracing down my cheeks.

Lu Nyan, do you truly feel as though the entire world is obligated to revolve around you?

I did not...

In your eyes, was every ounce of my persistence, every single drop of my grueling effort, merely a pathetic scheme to catch your attention?

Shen Ning, calm yourself down.

I am perfectly calm, I cut him off, my voice sharp as glass. From the exact moment you hung up on me, I have never been clearer-headed in my life!

I was busy at that moment...

I know. You were much too busy watching the sunrise with Nguyen Tich Nguyet.

The other end of the line fell into an oppressive silence.

You saw everything?

Yes, I saw it all. The two of you make a breathtakingly well-matched pair!

With that, I ended the call. Immediately afterward, I blocked every single channel of communication he had with me. The world finally descended into a profound, soothing quiet. I stood alone on the pedestrian overpass, gazing down at the endless stream of bustling traffic below. I had lived in this quiet little town for eighteen years. There had been a time when I foolishly believed I would leave this place hand in hand with Lu Nyan, heading toward the capital to forge a brand new life. Now, all I wanted was to journey entirely on my own. To go as far away as my legs could carry me.

The college entrance examination results were finally released. I scored 721 points, claiming the top rank in the entire province for the science track. The news spread through the small town like wildfire. A flurry of people swarmed the auto repair shop just to catch a glimpse of me—reporters with flashing cameras, local school administrators, and curious neighbors. Uncle Li stepped up, shielding me and blocking them firmly at the threshold.

Little girl, you have truly accomplished something extraordinary. He gave me an approving thumbs-up.

I smiled broadly. Phuong Ky ran over, throwing her arms around me, laughing and weeping all at once.

I knew it! I always knew you were the absolute best!

Lu Nyan came as well. That very evening, as I was quietly packing my belongings and preparing to make my final departure, he stood in the doorway, his gaze fixed heavily upon me. He had grown noticeably thinner, his skin tanned a deeper shade by the sun, and his jaw was covered in a rough, dark stubble.

Congratulations, he murmured.

I ignored him entirely, continuing my task of folding and sorting my clothes.

Where are you planning to go?

None of your concern.

Shen Ning. He stepped across the threshold and caught my left hand in his. Let us talk.

Let go of me.

I will not. He looked at me with stubborn desperation. That phone call on the night of the storm—I did not cut you off on purpose. It was Tich Nguyet who snatched the phone from my hand.

Oh.

Do you not believe me?

Whether I believe you or not, does it honestly make any difference?

I raised my head and stared straight into his eyes.

Lu Nyan, just leave. I do not ever want to look at you again.

His eyes instantly flushed red.

Must you be so utterly heartless? All the years of deep affection we shared between us...

Affection? I interrupted him mercilessly. From the exact moment you handed my guaranteed admission slot over to someone else, whatever affection there might have been between us was utterly dead.

That was only because Tich Nguyet, she needed it...

Enough! I refused to hear him speak that name ever again. I have zero desire to know how she is doing, nor do I care in the slightest. All I know is that you completely destroyed the only glimmer of hope I had left.

I can make it up to you! Whatever you want, I will give it to you!

What I truly want, you can never give back to me.

I wanted a healthy, fully functioning body, which he could never provide. I wanted a complete, unbroken family, which he was powerless to offer. I wanted to turn back the clock to that rainy night, to have him answer my call and rush back to me without hesitation, and that, too, was beyond his reach.

Shen Ning...

Get lost.

These were the first harsh words I had ever spoken to him. He froze, stunned into absolute disbelief.

What did you just say?

I told you to get lost, I articulated each word with chilling clarity.

All the remaining color instantly drained from his face. He stared fixedly into my eyes for a long, agonizing moment. Finally, his grip slackened, and he staggered backward two heavy steps.

Fine, his voice was raw and broken. I am leaving.

He turned on his heel and walked away, his retreating figure radiating utter desolation. I watched him go, feeling not a single ripple of emotion in my chest. Some things, once shattered, are shattered forever. They can never be pieced back together.

I applied to the National University of Defense Technology, an institution situated thousands of miles away from my hometown, operating under a strict, fully enclosed military management system. When my official acceptance letter finally arrived, I bid a warm farewell to Uncle Li. Carrying only a single compact suitcase, I boarded the train heading northward. Through the window, I watched the vibrant green scenery gradually give way to a muted autumn gold. I knew deep in my heart that a fresh, untouched chapter of my life was about to unfold. At the university, my daily routine was fiercely demanding yet deeply fulfilling. Aside from attending rigorous lectures, I spent countless hours immersed in the quiet depths of the library and the high-tech laboratories. Though my right hand had healed remarkably well, it still lacked the strength to carry heavy loads or write continuously for extended periods. Yet, none of that held me back. By utilizing my left hand, I mastered the art of conducting complex experiments and writing flawless code. By my sophomore year, under the guidance of my esteemed professor, I spearheaded a research project that ultimately won the national first prize. In my junior year, I was awarded the prestigious presidential scholarship alongside a fully funded government sponsorship for overseas study. I truly believed that Lu Nyan and I had reached the absolute end of our paths, forever severed from one another. But on a freezing winter evening, amidst a swirling flurry of snow, he managed to find me once again. As I stepped out of the research building, I saw a solitary figure standing motionless in the drifting snow. He wore a heavy black overcoat, the shoulders and crown of his head completely blanketed in white. I walked past him without slowing my pace. He called out my name, halting my steps.

Shen Ning.

I paused, turning my head. It was him. Lu Nyan. He looked even leaner than he had two years ago, his facial features sharper, his gaze deeper and more sorrowful than ever.

Long time no see, he whispered softly.

Is there something you need?

I... came to see you.

Well, you have seen me. Now you can leave.

I turned to resume my walk. He lunged forward, catching my wrist.

Wait a moment.