Chapter 7 — The One Who Once Was My Light

Shen Ning, I have waited for you for ten years. I have poured all my youth and all my passion into this endless waiting. Can you turn around and look at me just once?

His voice choked with emotion. I looked at him, my heart in complete turmoil. I admit, at that very moment, I wavered. But then I remembered that rainy night. I remembered lying alone in the freezing downpour, feeling a despair that pierced straight to my bones. I stood up.

Lu Yan, make sure you get some rest. The hospital bills and compensation for your missed work will be handled entirely by the company. I must be going. I will have my assistant discuss the project details with you.

I did not give him any closure. I was afraid that if I spoke another word, my heart would soften. Yet I could not allow myself to soften. Some wounds, once they have scabbed over, can never be peeled away again.

The project was an overwhelming success. On the day of the product launch press conference, the media gathered in massive crowds. As the chief scientist of the project, I took the stage to deliver my speech. Standing beneath the dazzling lights, I looked out over the sea of faces below. And then I saw him. Lu Yan was sitting in the very front row, gazing at me with intense focus. His eyes were tender, yet laced with a faint trace of sorrow. When my speech concluded, thunderous applause erupted through the auditorium. After the press conference, a celebratory banquet was held. Originally, I had no intention of attending, but Lu Yan personally came to invite me.

You are the star of today, you cannot be absent.

I had no choice but to go. At the banquet, countless people approached to toast and congratulate me. I managed them all with practiced grace. Lu Yan remained by my side the entire time, shielding me from unnecessary social pleasantries.

Drink a little less. He swapped my glass of wine for a glass of fruit juice.

I glanced at him without saying a word. Halfway through the banquet, I stepped out onto the balcony to catch some fresh air. Lu Yan followed me outside.

You looked breathtaking tonight, he said.

Thank you.

Shen Ning. He stepped right in front of me and pulled a velvet box from his pocket. This is for you.

I opened it. Inside lay a diamond ring. The stone was exceptionally large, sparkling dazzlingly under the moonlight.

Marry me, he said.

I froze in shock.

I know this is very sudden, but I cannot wait any longer.

He reached out for my hand, intending to slide the ring onto my finger. I pulled my hand back.

Lu Yan, do not do this.

Why? He stared at me, the light in his eyes dimming bit by bit. You still blame me, do not you?

No. I shook my head. I do not blame you anymore.

Then why will you not accept me?

Because I do not love you anymore.

I spoke calmly, yet every single word felt like a sharp blade plunging deep into his chest. His body staggered, and all the color drained from his face.

No longer love me... he murmured.

That is right, I do not love you anymore. I looked straight into his eyes. Lu Yan, ten years ago I loved you, and I truly believed you would be the light of my entire life. But you were the one who extinguished that light with your own hands.

After that rainy night, my life started over completely. But in this new life of mine, there is no place for you.

Now, I have my own career and my own life. I am living very well, very completely. I do not need anyone to make my life whole.

I handed the ring back to him.

You are an exceptional man, you will find someone far better than me.

There is no one else. His voice grew hoarse and cracked. In this lifetime, apart from you, I want no one.

Then you will just have to live alone.

With that, I turned around and walked back into the banquet hall. I did not look back. Following that night, Lu Yan vanished. He resigned as the Chief Executive Officer of Yan Ning Technologies, handing the company over to professional management. No one knew where he had gone. Fang Qi called me to ask about it.

Ning Ning, did Lu Yan leave because of you?

Do not speak of this anymore. I cut her off.

I refused to hear his name ever again. The days slipped by, one after another. My laboratory flourished more and more. The products we researched helped tens of thousands of disabled individuals stand up once again, restoring hope to their lives. I became a leading figure in my field, showered with countless honors. I appeared on television and graced magazine covers. Yet I remained perpetually busy. So busy that I had no time to dwell on anything else. Only in the stillness of the deep night would a wave of loneliness wash over me. But it was always a fleeting emotion. The next morning, as the sun rose, I would be filled with strength once more. Five years later. I was invited to attend a world artificial intelligence summit held in Riviera. At the conference, I delivered a keynote speech on cutting-edge technology, which received rave reviews. Once the summit concluded, I traveled to Jungfrau to go skiing. I hired a private instructor, a handsome local man who taught with incredible patience. As we glided down from the snowy peak, the wind whistled past my ears. The sensation was both utterly liberating and exhilarating. That evening, we dined at the mountaintop hotel. He looked across the table and asked me:

Shen, someone as brilliant and beautiful as you, why are you still single?

I smiled.

Perhaps I simply have not met the right person yet.

What do you think of me? he asked with a half-playful, half-serious grin.