Chapter 5 — The Seat Not Meant for Me

Upon hearing those words, I merely offered a faint, indifferent smile, utterly untouched by any emotional turmoil. Through all these years, I had long since grown accustomed to it. It mattered not that no one inquired after my well-being, nor did it trouble me that favoritism was a foreign concept in my life. From this moment onward, my destiny belonged to me alone, governed solely by my own hands.

The quiet dedication and relentless effort of an entire semester finally bore fruit. In the comprehensive final examinations, my scores claimed the top spot across all subjects, and my overall performance securely anchored me at the zenith of my major. Sustained by this consistent excellence and commendable conduct, I smoothly secured the prestigious university scholarship and was honored with the title of Campus Model Student. The academic advisor publicly commended me during our homeroom meeting, my roommates beamed with genuine pride on my behalf, and the acquaintances who truly knew me understood that this recognition was simply the rightful harvest of my silent, day-after-day perseverance.

As the final examinations drew to a close, the entire campus gradually transitioned into the winter break. Students scurried about packing their luggage, happily securing tickets for their journeys homeward, filling the university grounds with the vibrant, bubbling excitement of homecoming. Yet, I harbored no plans of returning. That dwelling had never truly been a home to me. To return was merely to reenact the familiar grievances, the biting indifference, the relentless comparisons, and the suffocating awkwardness of the past. I had made up my mind long ago to remain on campus throughout the winter holiday and continue my part-time employment.

It was precisely on that particular afternoon when I was returning from an off-campus supermarket, arms laden with daily essentials, walking at a measured pace along the main thoroughfare of the campus. From a distance, three familiar figures caught my eye. My parents and my older brother, Yu He, stood at a crossroads not far ahead, their gazes sweeping restlessly back and forth, unmistakably searching for someone with deliberate intent.

A slight tremor rippled through my chest, and instinctively, my mind began to wander. Had they come to visit me? Did they finally remember my existence? Did they harbor even a flicker of concern for my well-being? A fragile, wispy thread of anticipation flared up for a mere fraction of a second, skimming rapidly across the deepest recesses of my heart. I stood rooted to the spot, watching quietly as they closed the distance between us.

Before I could even offer a greeting, however, my mother's eyes landed squarely upon the brand-new smartphone clutched in my hand. Her expression darkened instantly, laced with a heavy, scathing sense of disapproval, and she launched straight into a barrage of reprimands.

"Well, well, Yu Man! No wonder you never return home and refuse to stay in touch with your family! Were you genuinely dissatisfied with the old phone we handed down to you? Just look at you—you actually have the money to buy yourself a brand-new phone!"

My father immediately furrowed his brow, every word dripping with indignation on behalf of Yu Xiao.

"Since you have spare cash lying around to purchase a new phone, why on earth didn't you think of buying some nourishing food for your younger sister? Yu Xiao's stomach is delicate, her constitution has always been frail and weak, and just look at how horribly thin she has become because of it!"

My brother fixed his gaze upon me, his voice cold and rigid.

"The reason we came here today is to inspect the food at your university cafeteria ourselves. If the meals here are subpar, we will simply provide Yu Xiao with a larger living allowance. While you are at this school, you ought to pay closer attention and take better care of her, ensuring she is fed things that soothe her stomach."

Those few brief sentences completely shattered the pathetic little fragment of hope I had harbored. A wave of silent, bitter self-mockery washed over me, leaving my heart chilled yet thoroughly awakened. I should have known. How could they possibly have made a special trip just to see me? They had never once arrived for my sake. This journey to the university campus was, from beginning to end, entirely on account of Yu Xiao. The sole object of their affection would forever be her health, her lifestyle, and her state of mind. Even with me standing directly before them, even having traversed thousands of miles to reach this place, the only person housed within their hearts remained their precious younger sister.

Suppressing every single wave of emotion churning within, I spoke in a voice that was calm, distant, entirely devoid of anger, grievances, or the urge to argue.

"Very well, go ahead and inspect the cafeteria yourselves. I have matters to attend to, so I shall take my leave."

I walked straight past them, pressing forward without a single pause or the slightest trace of reluctance. From behind me drifted the murmur of their fragmented conversations, a mixture of discontent and helplessness.

"Why is this child becoming more and more stubborn by the day? You can barely speak two words to her before she loses her patience."

"She is nothing like Yu Xiao at all. One can never find any peace of mind regarding her."

"She truly grows more and more inconsiderate with each passing day."

Every single word reached my ears clearly, yet they failed to stir the slightest ripple within my soul. In the past, such remarks would have brought me pain, grievance, and a desperate desire to explain myself. Now, I merely found them utterly insignificant. Whatever perspective they held of me, however they chose to define my character, or whatever judgments they cast upon my worth could no longer exert the slightest influence over my life. I strode onward with purposeful steps, leaving them and their profound prejudices entirely in the dust.

The new semester commenced, winter receded to make way for spring, and all things gradually thawed beneath the returning warmth. Yet, this peaceful and stable routine was once again shattered by the fragility and selfishness of Yu Xiao. Because Yu Xiao possessed a cold physical constitution, she harbored an intense dread of winter's chill. Refusing to endure even the slightest discomfort, she stubbornly insisted upon swapping beds with a dormmate whose bunk was situated on the inner side of the room. That particular classmate was comfortably settled and had no desire to exchange beds on a whim, and thus politely declined her request. Spoiled by her family since childhood and unaccustomed to ever hearing the word no, Yu Xiao found herself momentarily unable to accept this disparity, instantly throwing a violent tantrum right there in the dormitory.