Chapter 1 — Transfer Rate Changed

Both times I had the opportunity to be transferred to the City Hospital, and I missed it. I thought it was because I didn't have enough seniority, so I quietly carried the medicine box and continued climbing the pass and wading through the stream. Until I took leave to visit home and returned a day early. The study door is ajar.

“When you return to the City People's Hospital, why did you cross out Khuong Ninh's name again?”

The speaker is my mother-in-law. The person who answers you is my husband. His voice was very calm, as if he was talking about something trivial that wasn't worth worrying about. That day I went home earlier than planned. Exactly one day earlier. Dr. Trinh was on duty on my last day at the clinic. He patted the medicine cabinet and said, "Go quickly, Dr. Co is waiting for you in the city." From Van Linh commune, take a small bus to the district, from the district take a long-distance bus to the province, then change to two inner-city buses. For thirteen hours, I didn't sleep a wink. In my hand is an old burlap bag, containing half a kilo of wild tea, a jar of wild honey, and a dark green scarf. The scarf I bought at the countryside market cost thirty-eight yuan. The stall owner said it felt a lot like sheep's wool. I touched it, it was really soft. The last time she called, Co Thua complained that the air conditioner in the ward was cold and her neck often hurt. He just blurted out a complaint, but I took it to heart. Women in the mountains have nothing to offer their husbands, except perhaps a good memory. We arrived back at the apartment complex at 4:20 p.m. The password for the door down the hall hasn't changed. I dialed the number and the door opened. The elevator went to the sixteenth floor, I took the key out of my cotton shirt pocket. This key has not been used for two years, the edges are worn to the point of piercing your hand. When I put the key in the lock, I paused a bit. I wanted to give him a surprise. The living room has no lights on. The curtains were closed, the house was dark. On the tea table was a half-drunk cup of latte, the rim of the cup was marked with a light red lipstick stain. On the armrest of the sofa was draped an ivory white women's coat, the fabric was very elegant, and at a glance you could tell it was expensive. My eyes stopped on that shirt for a second. It must have belonged to a colleague he forgot. When I bent down to change my shoes, I saw that next to the shoe cabinet was another pair of nude high heels, pointed heels, and clean soles. I always wear sneakers, I've never worn these. My hand stopped. There were voices in the study room. The door was not closed tightly, light leaked through the crack. There were two voices, one was my husband - Co Thua, and the other was my mother-in-law - Tran Ngoc Lan. I was just about to step forward and call out "I'm home" when...

“The return to the City People's Hospital this time is very rare.”

My mother-in-law's voice was low.

“Why did you cross out Khuong Ninh's name AGAIN?”

More. This word was like a needle, piercing my ears, then spiraling deep into my brain. I stood frozen in the middle of the hallway. The study room was silent for a few seconds. Co Thua spoke up. His voice was not urgent, even a little tired, carrying an frustration that I had never heard in phone calls, like an old piece of clothing that had been left for a long time and was not worth the effort to fold carefully.

"Mom, don't worry about this matter. Van Tinh will have to evaluate the main treating doctor next year. She needs this position more than Khuong Ninh."

Van Tinh. To Van Tinh. I've heard this name before. Co Thua said it was a new doctor at the hospital, a college friend, Good expertise, enthusiastic people. Every time he was mentioned, it was passed very lightly, as if it was nothing important.

"But Khuong Ninh is still a wife and children after all." My mother-in-law's voice became even quieter, "He's been in the mountains for seven years, in case he knew about it..."

“What does she know?”

Co Thua burst out laughing. The laughter wasn't loud, but I heard it clearly.

"Every time I told her that she hadn't approved it yet, and that she was trying hard, she always believed it. Mom, you still don't know what her personality is like? Stubborn, stubborn and stupid. For seven years, she doesn't even dare to ask a question."

He stopped for a moment.

“If she really had the ability, would she have been sent away to stay in Van Linh for seven years?”

That sentence fell into the void in the middle of the hallway. I bowed my head and looked at my hands. His knuckles were rough, the areas between his fingers were calloused from carrying medicine boxes all year round, and between his fingernails there was still green residue from herbs that had not been washed cleanly. The sleeves of the jacket are faded, the hem of the pants are still stained with mud from the forest road, even if washed, they still leave marks. The burlap bag at his feet was open, revealing a corner of a dark blue scarf. I took a step back. The sole of the shoe rubbed against the wooden floor, making a small sound.

“What is that sound?” My mother-in-law asked.

“Probably the house upstairs.” Co Thua didn't care.

I stood in the dark, not moving at all. In the study room, the conversation continued. My mother-in-law mentioned that To Van Tinh was very valued in the department recently, saying that her father knew the hospital leadership, saying that girls like that would only be helpful to Co Thua in the future. Co Thua said yes, saying that To Van Tinh would come home to eat tonight, and by the way, edit the nomination list again. I turned around and walked out the door, took off my slippers, walked barefoot on the wooden floor, and picked up my canvas bag. Before the door closed, I saw the wedding photo hanging on the living room wall. In the photo, I'm wearing a white wedding dress, Co Thua hugs my waist, smiling very gently. At that time he once said: Khuong Ninh, you worked hard to go up the mountain for two years, I waited for you to return, our family also waited for you to return. I stood outside the door for about half a minute, putting the key in the mailbox in front of the house. When I went downstairs, the phone rang. The name Co Thua appeared on the screen. I watched the phone ring until it turned itself off. The second time it rang, I picked up the phone. Co Thua's voice carried impatience: "Why didn't you answer the phone? What time will you arrive tomorrow? Van Tinh will eat at home tonight. If you come home, please let me know in advance so I can ask the maid to make more dishes." I looked at my reflection in the elevator door, my hair blown by the wild wind, and two faint sunburn streaks on my face.

"I have an emergency, I might not be able to come home tomorrow."

“More nonsense in the village?” He tapped something, "Khuong Ninh, can you stop pretending that you're the savior? It's not your turn in the city, it's not without a reason."

I said: "About the list, have you ever thought about telling me?" The other end of the line was silent. A few seconds later, his voice changed: "Where are you?"

“Downstairs.”

He said: "Come up here, let's talk."

“What are you talking about?”

"Khuong Ninh, don't talk like that. The list is not decided by me alone. Van Tinh is more suitable than you, Ms. He has familiar patients in the city, scientific articles, and connections. What can you do when you come here? Checking people for colds and runny noses?

I changed hands to carry the burlap bag, the jar of honey collided with the medicine box, making a clicking sound.

“So what are my seven years?”

Co Thua replied: "Being is your own choice." I hung up. The wind at the gate of the apartment complex is very strong. I took the scarf out of my bag, didn't wear it, but threw it straight into the trash can next to it. Just after taking two steps, the sound of high heels hitting the street was heard from behind.

“Miss Khuong Ninh?”

I turned around.