Chapter 4 — Gardenias After the Rain

I had no idea how long I had drifted off to sleep. When I finally opened my eyes, Liang Haozhi had already returned. His coat was still draped gently over my shoulders. He was standing by the window, engrossed in a medical textbook. That solitary moment felt as though it had pulled me right back to an ordinary afternoon after classes in days long past. The classroom had been entirely empty, save for him standing by the window, the golden hues of sunset washing over his frame. A breeze from the ajar window drifted inside, setting the white curtains dancing and lightly brushing against the hem of his shirt. Hesitantly, I had spoken up then:

"Liang Haozhi... do you really want to become a doctor?"

The person I had interrupted did not startle in the least. He simply raised his head, looking at me with a smile as gentle as the spring wind. The sound from my memories seamlessly superimposed itself onto the voice right in front of me:

"That is right. What about you, Song Xingran?"

My eye sockets burned, and I nearly failed to hold back the tears threatening to spill over. I hurriedly turned away, covertly wiping the corners of my eyes. Liang Haozhi strode over, taking my hand and interlacing his fingers with mine. Our ten fingers locked tightly together—an intimacy so profound it made my heart violently skip a beat.

"Are you hungry? If you are hungry, we will go eat first. If not, we are taking a trip to your house."

He pulled me along behind him, completely dazed like a fool, entirely oblivious to the curious gazes directed at us by the people lingering in the hospital.

"What are we going back to my house for?"

"To get the household register."

"What do we need the household register for?"

"To register our marriage."

It was not until the car came to a complete halt right in front of the civil affairs bureau that I finally snapped out of my dreamlike daze. I hastily grabbed Liang Haozhi’s arm just as he reached to push open the car door:

"Wait, hold on a second! Are you... are you kidding me right now?"

He turned his head to look at me, his expression so deadpan and serious it was almost suffocating:

"Do I look like the kind of person who is joking?"

He certainly did not look like it. But even so, wasn't this entire affair far too impulsive? I blurted out the thoughts swirling in my head. His face instantly darkened:

"Impulsive?" he retorted. "Must I really wait until the child is born before registering our marriage for it to somehow not be considered impulsive?"

"But... what about your girlfriend?"

This lingering issue had, from the very beginning to the very end, remained the single largest knot tied between the two of us. Liang Haozhi suddenly burst into laughter—a laugh so exasperated it borderlined on madness:

"Song Xingran, does being pregnant genuinely lower your IQ this much? I do not have a girlfriend, which is precisely why I have no one else to marry. Those words were nothing more than a stupid joke made by our class monitor."

Ah... so not being married simply meant he did not have a girlfriend. I finally understood the logic.

"In that case... I have one more question."

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and mustered every ounce of courage I had left to cry out:

"Do you like me?!"

No one answered. The eager anticipation burning within me slowly dissolved into a hollow sense of loss amidst the lingering silence. Desperate to shatter the excruciating awkwardness, I hastily scrambled to change the subject:

"Got it, let's go then. Let's go get the paperwork done before they close for the day."

Only then did a heavy, resigned sigh sound from behind me:

"I... do not know."

After we finished processing our marriage registration, Liang Haozhi suggested that for the sake of convenience in caring for both me and the baby, I should temporarily move into his apartment. Considering how late the evening had already grown, I agreed to stay for the night, leaving the matter of moving my belongings for later. However...

"I will sleep on the living room sofa so I do not disturb your rest."

I deliberately ignored Liang Haozhi’s deeply penetrating gaze, retreating into the living room by myself to arrange my things. To put it bluntly, the relationship between him and me was nothing more than a temporary cohabitation born out of a child. Initially, I had foolishly harbored hopes that he might actually grow to like me. But the idiotic question I had blurted out that afternoon had effectively nailed me to the spot, stripping away any lingering courage to take another step forward. Since he had made the resolute choice to keep this child, I would simply strive my absolute best to become a good mother—to bring the baby into this world and care for it meticulously so it could fully experience the love of both parents. As for the relationship between him and me... whenever he grew tired of this domestic arrangement, we could simply part ways. The power of choice had always rested entirely in his hands. I had originally assumed that living together would prove exceedingly difficult to adapt to. The eventual outcome, however, proved that I had simply been overthinking everything. Liang Haozhi and I barely crossed paths throughout the entire day. By day, I was swamped with work at the law firm, while by night, he was consumed by his grueling shifts at the hospital. Our home felt less like a shared living space and more like a relay station where we took turns occupying it. Yet, whenever he managed to carve out even a fraction of free time, he would cook for me, meticulously preparing nutritious meals. Sometimes, he would even massage my limbs, soothingly explaining that it would help alleviate the discomfort of the late stages of pregnancy. I knew he was inherently a deeply considerate person. But the longer I remained by his side, the more helpless I became against my own heart, continually falling deeper and deeper into the inescapable net of love.